How to Catch a Cheater: 16 Ways to Spy on a Cheating Spouse

Your partner’s phone is a treasure trove of information, and as it collects other key data about their life and habits, so it does about their potential indiscretions. Watch for these key behaviours that indicate something may be up:

Are they uber-protective of their phone? Do they seldom part with it and take it everywhere they go? Do they always keep it out of sight? (Or always face down? You know the type...) Is the phone always locked or does it have a privacy screen on that obscures what your partner is doing on it from most over-the-shoulder angles? Do they always have the “Do Not Disturb” function on in your company to keep potentially risky notifications at bay and silent? (On iPhones, look for the half-moon symbol in the upper right corner.) Remember to also look for a potential second (‘burner’) phone, or even alternate SIM cards (less convenient, but also a possibility). Our suggestion is to ask to use their phone while somewhere on the go together because your phone *cough* is dead *cough, cough*.

It helps if you can get a hold of the phone first before asking for it, so they’re more apt to give you the password.

Once you have access to their phone, if they have a Touch ID feature (or some variant), swiftly go into their security settings, and add your fingerprint to the saved prints (if they have more than one, perhaps delete one of theirs, so you don’t arouse suspicion). Voila. You now have access to their phone no matter how many times they change their password.

If your partner won’t freely share their phone lock code (such as when you innocently want to check the weather or order a cab), and you can’t keenly observe what code they are putting in, gaining access may be tricky.

Luckily, some people may be less protective of their computer passwords, and if they use Google Chrome, you may be able to unlock many if not all of their passwords... Ask for their computer password for *insert believable story here*.

Once they give it, go to the Chrome browser, Settings, Passwords and Autofill.

Once on the passwords log page, you can see what sites they’ve accessed that require passwords. Do a quick scan and see if any illicit sites jump out (pro-tip: Ashley Madison is a bad sign). Then, next to the obscured passwords full of ‘****’ click on the ‘eye’ icon and type in the computer password you’ve just obtained, and voila. All these passwords, all at your fingertips. You’ll want to save these for posterity, so you may want to take a quick pic with your phone (though do be mindful that now your phone possesses delicate evidence of snooping), so now you have to be mindful of keeping your phone out of reach.

Alternately...

This software can be installed in a computer and the cheating person using it would never know it's running in the background. These programs can record whatever you want, see the passwords they use, the emails they send, the pages they visit, even record them using the computer. Kind of creepy but you do what you have to do.

Like keyloggers, but for a phone. If nothing else has worked, or you simply want complete access to your partner's phone, all you need to do is install one (like Spy Tracker) on their device and you will instantly have access to everything they do. A monitoring app is the ultimate way to bust a cheater once and for all. Though keep in mind that there are possible legal ramifications if they decide to take action.

You can track your partner’s location history if they use Google by clicking on ‘previous destinations’ menu option on the navigation system. Alternately, for Android users the Google TImeline feature tracks similarly in the Google Maps app or even Google Maps online, if they are logged in while moving about. You can also type ‘Find My Phone’ into the search bar to see the phone’s current location.

If your SO uses an iPhone, there are several options you can use beyond tapping into a family account where location sharing is enabled (Find My iPhone and Find My Friends app can be helpful here). If these aren’t an option, here is where it gets very interesting...many people don’t even know this feature exists. You can see your partner’s frequent locations under Settings, Privacy, Location Services, System Services, Significant Locations. It would take a super-savvy cheater and a ton of diligence to consistently disable or delete these settings each time they’re stepping out, and this allows you to see which locations they keep revisiting.

The following are additional ways to keep tabs on your beau or belle as well. With an app like Spy Phone or a super-small GPS device that can be fixed to the underside of your unfaithful spouse's car, you can see where they go, then catch them at that sleazy motel (or worse, that luxury resort you two never went to) with their pants around their ankles. You'll be busting the affair in real time.

Uber conveniently has a safety function that allows a user to indefinitely share their ride status with others. If your partner uses Uber (and possibly any of the other ride-sharing apps), go into their app, go to Settings, then Manage Trusted Contacts, and add yourself to always receive notification of their rides.

For Waze, scan their drive history by clicking on the magnifying glass icon (each destination appears alongside a clock icon). Do note that the app doesn’t provide a tonne of detail, but it can tip you off if certain unfamiliar destinations keep reappearing or are saved under favourites.

If your partner's been super-protective of his or her phone, and you suspect they're being unfaithful, try and sneak a peek at their messaging apps if you can. But note that regular text messaging apps (iMessenger) are for amateur hour…It’s worth giving it a quick scan to see if there are any individualized “do not disturb” message threads. However, WhatsApp is a likelier destination for illicit conversations (and do check the ‘Archived Chats’), or, for super savvy cheaters, they may even be making most of shared Notes apps on iPhone or even shared Google Docs. Draft emails on shared email accounts are also a go-to (yep, we’ve heard of this one).

And don't forget to always check for aliases because ‘Aunt Becky’ may be someone else entirely (i.e. ‘Michelle’). While no software can definitively show you how to find out the true identity of a caller, there are apps like Reverse Phone Lookup App for iPhone. Spyzie or Call Log Monitor can track a person’s contact list and call logs to help tell you exactly how many times a day this ‘Aunt Becky’ calls. Once you have that, make a note of any numbers you find and contact the mystery caller yourself to bust a cheater once and for all.

In addition to hidden messages, your partner may also be hiding audio or photo files. If your partner knows their way around the latest gadgets and apps, they may be secretly embedding images into other audio or picture files.

Making them is easy with DeepSound and QuickStego, and what may look like a funny animal picture may in fact be a steamy nude. You will need to know a special keystroke or code to unlock the file.

If you have a joint account, this is that much easier, but now there are also multiple ways to pay for trysts, including PayPal, points, even GroupOn. Just look for transactions you don't recognize particularly for obvious things like lingerie, jewellery, hotel or restaurant bills. Anything out of the ordinary that could be a sign of infidelity. Modern software like Mint not only manages your money but you might just be glancing at his or her phone when a monthly expense notification appears.

Make a copy or take a screenshot of anything suspect and keep it hidden in a safe place as you continue your investigation in the hopes of catching that cheater red-handed.

One should respect another person's privacy, of course, but if you suspect your girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating or your wife or husband is having an affair and you are ready to see it for yourself, then try going into his or her email trash folder on all potential evidence-storing apps (photos, notes, emails, etc.). If they're actively emailing with someone else, they may have forgotten to permanently delete any conversations.

While you're at it, you might also want to check their computer's recycle bin for any incriminating photos. If you find anything, then you can kick this human trash to the curb.

You can search every letter of the alphabet in the various search tabs on modern devices. While those doing something sneaky would be stupid not to delete their digital tracks on browsers (though we’ve met those as well), you may need to dig a bit deeper for signs of hookup apps such as AdultFriendFinder or similar sites. You may want to look at the Spotlight Search or see what Google predicts you are searching for based on your spouse’s prior searches.

It's one thing to spot a liar, it's another to suspect that they've been receiving messages or pictures from another love interest. Just because your partner's deleted photos from his or her computer doesn't mean that they still don't exist somewhere, waiting for you to uncover. If your spouse is hiding pics and selfies and other unfaithful memories, it'll be in his or her Cloud storage. The basic ones may include iCloud, Google Drive or Amazon Prime, while Keepsafe Photo Vault, Vault or Hide It Pro indicate something more sinister is at play.

You can log on to those websites that promote cheating spouses (you know the ones) and keep a look out for your spouse. Or you can start a little smaller, and create a Facebook or Instagram profile and see if he or she bites. You can take it a step further by sending him or her an invite and getting friendly/flirty and see what the response is like. If they're interested in meeting up or hooking up, they're on the hook.

Place a spycam or recording device in the room where your partner escapes to when they want alone time. If he's playing video games or watching his favourite show, cool. If they're on the phone, chatting with someone online or doing any other funny business behind your back that could lead to them being unfaithful, you'll know soon enough.

At this point, you have all the evidence you need to prove that your husband is cheating; now it's time to confront them. You just need to be prepared for what they have to say.