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10 Ways to Keep a Long-Distance Relationship Spicy

a young Black woman in bed looking down at her red cellphone

If you’re with someone you’re committed to, long-distance isn’t always a deal-breaker. Whether it’s just a short-term stint apart, or you’re still figuring out the logistics of your living arrangements, many couples make it work. Still, being together when you’re apart requires some extra effort to keep your relationship moving forward. Of course, intimacy and sex are still a major factor, even when you can’t be side-by-side. Losing intimacy is a big fear of many couples considering (or experiencing) long-distance, but thanks to technology, it’s still totally feasible to keep things spicy, even from across the country — or the world. Let’s dive into some of the ways you can keep the flame alive in your long-distance relationship.

See also: 10 best pieces of dating advice from TikTok.

a white woman on a white land line leaning against a bed headboard

Doin’ it the old-fashioned way

If you’re more into the old-fashioned long-distance way, a steamy phone call is always the perfect way to end a long day apart. All cellphone carriers have Canada-wide, North America-wide and even worldwide plans that won’t rack up an insane bill. And, if you’re really missing your partner, you can even stay on the phone, hang around your places, and go about your days as if you’re in the same room. Sometimes the best kind of intimacy is just being in each others’ presence.

Related: 10 dating terms we keep hearing and what they mean

a young Black woman looking at her red cellphone

Make the very most of you smartphone

Long gone are the days of dial-up internet and paying for long-distance calls. Wifi-connecting apps like WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram make it possible to get face-to-face interaction anytime, anywhere. Being just a screen apart is as close as you can get when you’re long distance, but it can definitely still feel intimate, and anything can happen from there. Some face-to-face time is necessary for many, and it doesn’t have to be sacrificed just because you’re far away from one another. And hey, you can put on any kind of show. (Wink, wink.)

Related: How to break up without going broke.


a white woman in her bra lying on her bed

Find ways to play far away

If you’re looking to get really spicy, we’re happy to tell you there are ways to blow each others’ minds even without speaking, much less being in the same city. Bluetooth vibrators have become a favourite toy for long-distance lovers all over the world. One partner has a remote, and the other has the toy placed on, and you’re ready to go! They hook up to an app and connect to the internet; so you and your partner can play directly with each other, from literally anywhere else in the world, anytime you both desire.

You might also like: Sex Sessions: goals for sex that aren’t orgasm.

overhead shot of a woman lying on her bed, writing in a journal

Revive an old-time classic

The real old-fashioned way? Love letters. Writing steamy, handwritten letters to one another is classic romance. It keeps your bond alive, and gives you the space to write out your love, desires and fantasies to each other. It also creates some anticipation between both of you while you wait for each others’ love notes. Receiving a handwritten love letter is an understated act of devotion from “the olden days” that deserves a revival. Not only is it sweet, but having a tangible piece of your partner’s creation with you keeps hearts, and other parts, happy.

Related: Here’s how not to ghost someone.

a cellphone with a woman on video

Cook a delicious meal together for an intimate date night

Just because you’re not right next to each other, it doesn’t mean you have to give up date night. Once again, if you’re loving on each other long distance, technology is really in your favour these days. Easily set up a video call with your phone or laptop, and cook a perfect meal together. You can either get ingredients to make the same recipe together, or cook your respective meals side-by-side. For many, cooking together is a proven method to keeping the intimacy of your relationship alive, and you can still enjoy that together if you plan accordingly. Once you’re done cooking, and eating, you can continue date night by reverting back to our first suggestion.

You may also like: 13 relationship myths everyone thinks are true.


a white woman taking a selfie next to silver balloons that spell Love

Have more fun with your daily updates

Keeping each other updated during the week is essential to keeping communication flowing, and you can have a little fun with that. Step outside of your regular updates, and send each other daily photos, maybe even spice it up with a theme for each day. Whether it’s a silly photo, or one that’s NSFW, this keeps you both on your toes, having fun, and seeing more of each other.

Related: Sex terms to know in 2021.

an overhead view of a mug of coffee, a letter in an envelop and a bouquet of flowers

Send each other gifts and surprises

Even if you claim to be completely unmaterialistic, it’s still always a joy to receive a gift, especially from your partner. This is even a love language for many folks, so it’s important to continue to shower each other in love and gifts. Especially if that plays into the intimacy of your relationship. Send a surprise bouquet, or a gag gift, or something a little more naughty (like that aforementioned Bluetooth vibrator).

See also: Sex Sessions: learning your new lovers’ language.

a woman playing video games

Play games with each other (the fun kind)

Lots of couples love playing video or board games with each other. In fact, it’s another way many lovebirds share intimacy. You can find games that you’ll both enjoy, and connect to play online together. In fact, you can even find couples-specific games! Whether you like to get competitive with each other, or play as a team, it’s yet another great way to enjoy each other’s company and be playful from afar.

Related: The people have spoken, and they want actual sex emojis.

a silhouette of a Black woman reading on a window seat


Get into reading with each other

Getting a little couples book club going is a great way to bond, and you can easily do it on your own time. You can both choose books and read them whenever you have the time. Easily pick it up while you’re commuting, or sitting outside at a park. In a way, this keeps your partner close to you throughout different parts of your day. You can then discuss the book, and have deeper conversations as a result of it. Plus, you can kick up the spice by choosing a racy book and reading it aloud together.

You might also like: 10 signs you’re an empath.

a young Asian woman lying on her pillow, wearing headphones

Create and enjoy sensual playlists

Music has a big impact in many peoples’ lives; whether you’re just enjoying it to clean the house, or putting it on to get in the mood and have some fun. You can create multiple playlists for different purposes for your partner, and share them with each other. Create cutesy playlists of your favourite songs that remind you of each other, or sensual playlists to get you both in the mood from afar.

See also: 10 stigmas women still face everyday.

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