Many of us would like to think we know what it means to be a good friend. Between giving advice, listening attentively and stalking exes for them on social media, friendship takes a lot of work. But sometimes we’re so happy with our friends that we don’t realize when we do things that hurt their feelings. Even worse, maybe we do things to upset them because we think it’s funny or entertaining. To help you figure out if you should be checking yourself, we’ve rounded up 10 things to help you be a better friend.
1 / 10
You make everything about you
When talking with friends, whether it's a heart-to-heart or a convo about the latest celeb gossip, you always find a way to make things about yourself. It's easy to do this without even realizing it, but this might make your friends feel unimportant or ignored.
2 / 10
You’re distracted when you’re with them
When hanging out, you're constantly doing other things – texting instead of listening, scrolling on social media instead of talking etc. Not only is it rude, it signals to your friend that you can't unplug when you're with them.
3 / 10
You prioritize relationships over your friendships
Sometimes you bail on your friends for a date or a hookup – that's often where the trouble begins. When you constantly make your friends take a back seat to your love life, you're actively telling them that they aren't important to you.
4 / 10
You don’t do them favours
When you're asked to help your friend with school, work or a simple favour, you can't be bothered. You might tell yourself it's because you're too busy, but it indicates to your friend that they can't count on you when they need to.
5 / 10
You date their ex significant other
This is a basic but big no-no. Even if your friend says they're fine with you being with their ex, it's not a good idea. The chances of your friend or you getting hurt are very high and it's practically asking for unnecessary drama.
6 / 10
You’re never the one to make plans
It's lazy and unkind to your friends to never be the one to initiate plans. Being the first one to call or text to make arrangements goes a long way to let your friends know you care.
7 / 10
You forget important life events
Forgetting your friends' birthdays – or other important life events – indicates you're not paying enough attention to your friends' lives. It's incredibly hurtful, especially if they always remember to celebrate you.
8 / 10
You don’t check in on them
Checking in on a friend can be as simple as sending a text. If you don't bother see how they're feeling, when they're going through a hard time, they may feel they can't confide in you. A big part of being a good friend is offering support and putting in effort.
9 / 10
You’re jealous of their successess
When your friend gets a promotion or finds a new love, instead of being happy and supportive, you find yourself feeling jealous and resentful. Good friends want their friends to win; bad friends hope for failure.
Related: Should your lover be your best friend?
10 / 10
You hold grudges
It's normal to have disagreements in friendships and even the best of friends sometimes fight. But if you're always keeping score when friends upset you or saying you forgive them when you actually haven't, you're tainting those friendships and building up resentment towards others.