Forget Body Positivity, Here’s Why Body Neutrality is Where it’s At

First, let’s define the two.

Bhandal says the purpose of body positivity is “to radically accept the bodies that we are in and treat them as well as we can in all possible aspects of health and also have informed choice in what happens to them and what we do with them.”

But for body neutrality, “we don’t necessarily need to wake up and think, wow my body is the best. But with body neutrality is the absence of negative emotions, feelings and thoughts towards our bodies, with the knowledge that we can be aware of and control those thoughts as well.” She adds: “We’ve seen the intense amount of negativity in people’s reaction and anger to other people’s bodies. We need to acknowledge that it exists in order to move on.”

Body positivity wasn’t, like bodies themselves, perfect. Because of channels like social media. conversations about body positivity seemed to be one way, or at least supporting those with body positive messages. “There is certainly something to be said about who is talking about body positivity and their own intersectional identity,” explains Bhandal. “When people are not aware or acknowledge their privilege, whether that is through the intersection of body type and body weight or even gender or racialized identity, income level or citizenship, that lack of self-awareness can be a form of bullying or toxic to some folks. It can just not sit well with some.” Not everyone will relate to everyone’s expression of body positivity, and it can make others feel bad about themselves and others. Plus, there’s the negative reactions and anger that can come of it, too, adds Bhandal. “Body positivity served its purpose, but we need to move to an equilibrium.”

What’s the deal? It’s about creating boundaries, says Bhandal. “Body positivity can also be telling people what they should or should not be doing about their bodies.”

It’s telling you that you should feel and think a certain way, and to an extent should express yourself a certain way too. But when you have those boundaries, you are the one who is set to make decisions about your body and how you respond to it. “The big lesson is about learning how to be accepting and be in our bodies,” she says.

Be alone with yourself, recommends Bhandal. “Just having moments of stillness in our lives. But we live in a society that has us move from one thing to another, but there’s not the time to sit in stillness, be in the moment and in our thoughts. Just three minutes a day to tune in and see what’s going on.”

This can help you recognize any triggers to feeling negatively about your body, whether that’s a certain Instagram account or a topic you shouldn’t discuss with certain “friends.” Boundaries are important, including books and television, adds Bhandal.

Bhandal describes triggers as trauma: “Little T Trauma” and “Big T Trauma.”

“’Little T Trauma’ can be something like a sexist comment, and it sits with you and lingers. And that can range to ‘Big T Trauma,’ something that changes your life, big events like violence, birth, breakup, accidents, losses, depression and eating disorders, layered on with things like the patriarchy, colonialism, extreme capitalism.” Recognizing your trigger or trauma can help you heal, says Bhandal, which is a big part of body neutrality.

Body positivity is immediately recognizable as Instagram posts of body rolls and stretchmarks. But neutrality is much more complex, layered and intimate for each and every one of us. It’s about the decisions we have around our body, from Self-care Sundays to our talks at the doctor’s office. Bhandal says she found through much of her research that women don’t always feel heard by their doctors, specifically around gynecology. Some of us have difficulty talking about sex. And then there is the lack of education around our bodies, such as not understanding what cervical mucus is. It can impair decisions around how to take care of our bodies.

“I think we need to move toward body neutrality in how we police what and how people eat,” says Bhandal. “There is potential harm in a food culture that involves dieting, making people feel shitty about what they eat. We are bombarded with all the things we should be doing in order to be healthy when it’s not accessible to everybody.”

See also: I went on keto for 3 months and got gout, here's what I learned.

“Women will take their entire bag with them to the bathroom because they don’t want to walk through a café carrying a menstrual cup, tampon or pad,” says Bhandal. “There is secrecy around periods, or even trauma around having had a period stain or had to miss work due to having a period because of intense pain. There is pain and stigma around the cycle.

“It’s really hard. How do we embrace pain and become positive about it? The big shift for me, and people that I’ve worked with, if we can shift how we think about it to be more about a life-giving force, a form of renewal, a natural form of detox shed by the body. If we can shift the mindset around it, it can help us deal with the pain more and to deal with people’s reactions.”

Taking a day for yourself and exercising is good of course. But now when you reflect on your mental wellness and your relationship with your body, consider why you feel the way you do to move into body neutrality. Bhandal says, “Now is the perfect time to take more time for self-care.”

And if not now, when?