While we may all go through periods in our lives when we just can’t deal or don’t have enough emotional bandwidth to incorporate others deeply into our lives (perhaps because we’re burned out ourselves or focused on getting our own lives in order), navigating this way as our default setting over the long haul may stunt our ability to grow as people and to grow in our relationships.
You might still care for the relationship and your partner, but you may have trouble reworking your life to truly incorporate your partner into it in a meaningful way. Essentially, your attention and emotional resources are still very much invested in a way that prioritizes your needs above the collective needs of your relationship.
While emotional unavailability doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person or that you’re doing this intentionally, it can hold you back from deeper bonds. You may even be able to make others feel special (on the surface at least), but the relationship lacks true depth and the genuine hallmarks of a committed relationship.