It’s 2020 and we are challenging preconceived notions of what a relationship should be. Whether you identify as masculine or feminine (or somewhere in between), anyone can be a top. While the term has been traditionally linked to being an alpha, being more dominant — or sometimes to SD (submissive/dominant) or BDSM (bondage, discipline, submission, dominance) — or generally to the queer culture — anyone can claim top status at different points in their lives, their relationships.
After talking to Claire AH, sex and relationship expert and owner and matchmaker at Friend of a Friend Matchmaking, it became even more clear that roles in relationships can shift and power in romances can ebb and flow. Here are 10 signs you’re actually the top — and a little more about what that might mean.
“There’s this idea that high powered individuals wake up early and follow a regimented routine,” says Claire, “But tops don’t necessarily need to top themselves in that respect.”
RELATED: 10 signs you might be sexually curious.
RELATED: Top 10 LGBTQ+ friendly travel destinations around the world.
You work a “normal” job
You have an air of confidence
You have a little edge to your style
RELATED: The gentlewoman: Non-binary secrets from your dad.
Your idea of nurturing is rooted in strength
You tend to reach for the bill
You are attracted to softness and vulnerability
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: 10 of the most misunderstood things about bisexual women.
You are soft and sensitive
RELATED: LGBTQ+ celebs leading the way for positive representation.
You identify as a top
Let’s be honest, there’s a little top in all of us.
RELATED: How your attachment style affects your relationships.