It’s 2021 and we’re challenging preconceived notions of what a relationship should be. Whether you identify as masculine or feminine (or somewhere in between), anyone can be a top. While the term has been traditionally linked to being an alpha, being more dominant — or sometimes to SD (submissive/dominant) or BDSM (bondage, discipline, submission, dominance) — or generally to the queer culture — anyone can claim top status at different points in their lives, and their relationships.
After talking to Claire AH, sex and relationship expert and owner at Friend of a Friend Matchmaking, it became even more clear that roles in relationships can shift and power in romances can ebb and flow. Here are the most common signs you’re actually a top — and a little more about what that might mean.
![You’re creative Adventure cup](https://www.slice.ca/wp-content/themes/slice/assets/default_images_placeholder.png)
You’re creative
![You’re considerate Lesbian couple holding hands in a lil village somewhere](https://www.slice.ca/wp-content/themes/slice/assets/default_images_placeholder.png)
You’re considerate
![You work a “normal” job Cute lil barista making some coffee for your afternoon](https://www.slice.ca/wp-content/themes/slice/assets/default_images_placeholder.png)
You work a “normal” job
![You have an air of confidence Confident woman owning it](https://www.slice.ca/wp-content/themes/slice/assets/default_images_placeholder.png)
You have an air of confidence
![You have a little edge to your style Cute lil top looking bold and edgy](https://www.slice.ca/wp-content/themes/slice/assets/default_images_placeholder.png)
You have a little edge to your style
![Your idea of nurturing is rooted in strength Cute lady lovin couple in a field](https://www.slice.ca/wp-content/themes/slice/assets/default_images_placeholder.png)
Your idea of nurturing is rooted in strength
![You tend to reach for the bill Girl literally has other girl's back](https://www.slice.ca/wp-content/themes/slice/assets/default_images_placeholder.png)
You tend to reach for the bill
![You are attracted to softness and vulnerability Lesbian couple being affectionate](https://www.slice.ca/wp-content/themes/slice/assets/default_images_placeholder.png)
You are attracted to softness and vulnerability
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![You are soft and sensitive a woman in bed](https://www.slice.ca/wp-content/themes/slice/assets/default_images_placeholder.png)
You are soft and sensitive
![You identify as a top You identify as a top](https://www.slice.ca/wp-content/themes/slice/assets/default_images_placeholder.png)
You identify as a top
But let’s be honest, there’s a little top in all of us.