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What is a Karmic Relationship — And How Long Should You Stay In One?

A man with a curly bun and a woman embrace while standing outside

Let’s say you just met someone and instantly share a strong connection. You don’t even know their name yet, but your intense feelings tell you that you are destined to be together. This seems like a blissful moment, where all the stars align — but be wary, this feeling comes with a long journey of emotional baggage. This could encounter could lead to what people call a “karmic relationship.”

What is a karmic relationship?

The term “karmic relationship” is often used to define intense, passionate — and eventually turbulent — relationships.

When we think of karmic relationships, we refer to the feeling of meeting a soul you easily connect with. It can feel like meeting your soulmate or twin flame. You are immediately drawn to them, with no particular reason.

This speedy connection can lead to series of overstimulating emotions, such as passion, jealousy or anger. While your connection was made with high emotion, this feeling tends to die down quickly. When it comes time to end things, saying goodbye is never really an ending for karmic relationships. There’s a chance that the force that bring you together will make you reconnect once again, leaving you to stay longer in the relationship than expected.

“A karmic relationship is a connection of intense learning, meant to create an accelerated experience of working through old issues,” Cassady Cayne, relationship coach and author of The Universe Speaks, Are You Listening?, told Shape.

Related: What is a soul tie (and 4 signs you have one).

Signs you may be in a karmic relationship

One of the key challenges with karmic relationships is that, because they can be so all-consuming, you may not realize how deep you’re in one or how damaging they can be.

“It grips both partners tightly, and despite the damage done to both, they don’t seem to be able to let go of each other, even though everybody around them is telling them to end it,” Andrew Aaron, LICSW, marriage counselor and sex and relationship therapist explained in Healthline.

While a karmic relationship can be hard to precisely identify, there are many signs that often come with being in a karmic relationship: these may include:


You feel codependent

Codependency means putting more energy into supporting the people in your life than yourself. If you feel like you are constantly making decisions based on how the other person feels and choosing not to consider your feelings, this could be a strong sign you may be in a karmic relationship. It’s important to pay attention to your partner’s needs, but if this goes against your feelings and perspective, this can become a problem, as you are idealizing the needs of someone else and ignoring your own.

Codependency tends to root from a fear of being rejected, which is also something that you shouldn’t feel if you are in a loving, healthy relationship.

Related: 10 signs you’re emotionally unavailable for relationships.

You’re constantly breaking up and making up

Another sign is falling into a trap of breaking up and making up (basically, if you have a relationship similar to the kind that the characters Kelly Kapoor and Ryan Howard have on The Office).

If you feel like you are never fully attached when you are together, but never fully independent when broken up, this could be a sign that you’re in a karmic relationship.

Related: Avoiding toxic breakups – here is the worst way to be broken up with: research.

You’re struggling with miscommunication

The foundation of a healthy relationship is communication — and karmic relationships offer the opposite. Communication means each partner should acknowledge what the other has to say. Lack of communication leads to relationship full of tension and built-up arguments. So, if you and your partner are on constantly stepping on each other’s toes, it could be time to rethink the relationship.

You may also like: 10 signs they’re just not that into you – anymore


You’re not happy

If you are constantly consumed by negative emotions like anger, sadness and remorse, this could also be a sign that you are in karmic relationship. These relationships can become addicting, because they are full of highs and lows, but ultimately this means you will feel fully content. Also, you could only be thinking about the other person’s happiness, leaving you to disregard your own sense of contentment.

See also: Ways to improve your self-love now.

How long should you stay in a karmic relationship?

You can’t put a deadline on love, but in the case of a karmic relationship, it may be time to leave. If you find yourself ignoring the signs mentioned above, this could mean it may be time to move on, for good.

Are you feeling unhappy in your relationship? Do you feel stressed when you are with that other person? Are you asking yourself, “Do they have anything left to offer, or is it starting to feel repetitive?” These signs could mean that you have received all you that need from them, and it is the moment to end your relationship. At the end of the day, you are the only one who can remove yourself from the mess, making you one steps closer to a healthy, happy and fulfilling relationship.

You may also like: ‘Phone snubbing’ your partner can harm your relationship, cause retaliation: study.

DISCLOSURE: This post is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a qualified relationship expert. Always seek expert advice that is specific to you and your situation.


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