The Best Cities for ENM Relationships

Ethically non-monogamous (ENM for short) relationships are on the rise. For those not in the know, ethical non-monogamy is the practice of romantic relationships that are consensually non-exclusive. According to Tinder, Canadian users with the term “polyamorous” or “non-monogamous” in their profiles has increased 20 and 30 per cent respectively since 2021. It’s not the only app seeing a rise in non-monog dating — Bumble reports that 1 in 10 of their Canadian users had the word “polyamorous” on their profile.

With interest is rising, we’re rounding up our picks for the best cities for ENM folks to explore dating — with their primary partners and beyond. While we haven’t nailed down the science, these cities have made our list because they have good-sized dating pools and open-minded inhabitants (read: those that skew more left-leaning politically, with lots of young creatives). Read on for the top destinations for ENM daters around the world.

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Los Angeles, USA

It's one of Hollywood's worst-kept secrets that many famous couples practice ethical non-monogamy (though only a select few stars have spoken out about their open marriages). According to data from OK Cupid reported by Inverse, west coast cities see a higher number of ENM women in specific, and LA tops out the list for users of all genders.

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Vancouver, Canada

Similarly, Canada's west coast big city takes our top spot for the best city for ENM daters. Not only is Vancouver loved for its chilled-out vibe that's conducive to those looking for more accepting definitions of dating and looking to connect with like-minded communities, but here, polyamorous triads may be recognized as three legal parents in British Columbia, according to a recent court ruling.

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Berlin, Germany

Berlin is known for being an eclectic city that's welcoming to expats from all over. One of the top destinations in the world to experience culture (from museums to their world-class techno clubs), this progressive city has thriving art, alternative and queer scenes (all of which have considerable overlap with the ENM community). Take one look at the dating apps when you're there, and you'll see what we mean.

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Barcelona, Spain

This liberal Spanish city is one of the top destinations in Europe for LGBTQS2+ communities. With over 1.6 million inhabitants and a thriving tourism scene, it's a great destination for open-minded and progressive folks in Europe, including those in the polyamorous community. A quick search on social media will turn up various ENM community groups that host meetups, for locals and English-speakers alike.

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Amsterdam, Netherlands

The Netherlands is known for their progressive legislature around sex work and recreational drugs, so it's no surprise that the capital city makes our list of top spots for non-monogamous daters. Amsterdam is one of the smaller cities on our list, with a population of under one million, but the tourism there will make it feel larger than that size (and provide a pool of eligible, often open-minded daters).

People shopping in a record shop in Portland, Oregon

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Portland, Oregon

With an unofficial city motto of, "Stay weird, Portland," this west coast US city is known for its colourful inhabitants. Here you'll find plenty of musicians, artists and among the largest number of college-educated folks in the country (and those with higher education tend to be more liberal politically). The Guardian calls Portland one of the most sexually-tolerant cities in the USA, with a large community that hosts many meetups.

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São Paulo, Brazil

The country's largest city is host to some of the world's biggest Carnival and Pride events, making it an incredible destination for nightlife and perfect to meet some of Brazil's most beautiful people. ENM relationships are becoming more prevalent in Brazilian culture, with representation in several popular telenovelas.

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London, England

The United Kingdom's capital city has a large ENM community, making it an ideal spot for poly daters. There are loads of community groups, city guides specifically for ENM folks, and even a restaurant dedicated to polyamorous relationships.

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Montreal, Canada

Canada's largest French-speaking city is another great choice for those in ethically non-monogamous relationships. In general, couples in Quebec are among the least likely in the country to wed (according to CBC), which could point to its inhabitants less-traditional views on relationships. Montreal also made the list of one of the world's top 10 most sexually-liberated cities in the world, reports DailyHive News.

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New York City, USA

If dating is a sheer numbers game, the most populous city in the United States is the place to do it. Organizations like Open Love NY make it easy to find and connect with other ENM daters in the city that never sleeps (or in this case, sometimes sleeps with multiple partners).

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