Best and Worst Things Our Exes Ever Got Us

So they say you’re not supposed to look a gift horse in the mouth, but when a gift is so out of sync with who we are as people, or is a burden more than a present, it warrants probing. By contrast, some gifts may not seem like gifts in the traditional sense of the word, but remind us how much we matter.

Here is our staff roundup of the best and worst gifts our exes ever got us.

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The Practical Present

Best: My ex could definitely be thoughtful: He surprised me with a Macbook before I started grad school. However, he also could do the opposite and just straight-up ask me what I wanted for my birthday, anniversaries, etc. I guess I always got what I wanted, haha. – Jen F., editor, Food Network Canada

Bottles of spices and seasonings on shelves

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2 / 11

The Salty Gift

Worst: Let me set the scene: I was in university and still living at home with my parents. My ex at the time would come over often and had many dinners in my kitchen with my family. With that in your head, here we go:

After agreeing to "no gifts" for Valentine's Day, my ex surprised me with one anyway. When I unwrapped the gift, I realized he got me a spice rack. But not just any spice rack. It was the exact same spice rack that my mother had in her kitchen that was always in full view when he came over. While he was a nice enough guy, he was definitely not the most observant, considering we dated for almost three years by that time. I was also a little offended by the implication that he wanted me to cook more. Anyway, he felt bad and I had to pretend it was fine — especially since he threw out the receipt. The only person who was happy was my mother, since she got free refills for her spice rack. - Anonymous

White delivery van making a left turn on the street

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3 / 11

The Thoughtless Token

Worst: A recipe book. For my birthday. Which, if you know me, isn’t a bad idea (I’ve received a few from other exes over the years that I’ve loved). However, when it comes in a cardboard box from the back of a sketchy van that happened to come by your office and you highlight this fact as a funny anecdote to your last-minute birthday gift scramble... then no - not so hot. Add to that a couple of other random knick-knacks the seller was quick to rid himself of and that I have zero need for (a desk fountain? really??) Even less so. And sadly, this wasn’t even the most problematic thing he did throughout the course of our relationship. It was a solid wakeup call, and perhaps that was the gift in this.

Best: Those who take the time to know me, know I love experiential gifts, or practical gifts that involve sports. My ex bought me my first pair of hockey skates and took the time to take me skating so I’d break them in and learn how to skate backward. Update: The relationship did not work, but I’m still working on the skating. - Anonymous

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The “Not Me” Gift

Worst: My worst gift was a Tommy Hilfiger jacket. I know, I should have been grateful, but it was much deeper than the jacket itself. For me, it represented who my ex wanted me to be and not who I actually was. I never wore it. – Anonymous

Closeup of a woman's wrist with a blingy watch

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5 / 11

The Tacky Timepiece

Worst: My ex bought me a gaudy white Gucci watch which, if you know me, is not my jam. All I ever wanted from him was one good book recommendation...

Best: This isn't really a physical gift, more of a gesture. An ex (who is now my best friend) hitchhiked 8 hours to visit me at school. I still have the "pick me up" sign he used. – Alexa K., social media manager

Display table with different kinds of bongs on it

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6 / 11

The Novelty Reach Present

Best/Worst: When my ex felt the breakup coming (98% sure I was acting weird and distant which is a classic sign a split is near), she bought me a three foot bong. Now, anyone who actually smokes weed knows that this is excessive and more of a novelty than something a stoner would enjoy on the regular. I guess it was fun when I had time to get super baked. This all being said, she's a very nice girl who I set up with another chick I used to sleep with and now they are living happily ever after in Hamilton and appearing in HGTV Canada episodes together. – Chloe T., editor, Slice

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The Cliche Cadeau

Worst: An antique typewriter. Like c'mon, sure I'm a writer but I don't live in 1880. Miss me with that clickety-clack – I need a word processor! It also didn't work, was heavy AF, took up lots of space, and was impossible to sell. (Someone eventually agreed to buy it for $20 but I had to drive it to him.)

Best: A surprise birthday party at Medieval Times. It was the only surprise party I've ever had and I was legit stunned. All my friends showed up. It was a sweet gesture, but she was the most toxic ex I've ever had. – Alex G., editor, Complex

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The Gift of Support

Best: I continue to be friends with one of my exes. He did one of the nicest things. He wrote a letter of support when we were adopting our daughter. I can't imagine a more loving thing. - Anonymous

A teddy bear with harts in a box holding the words

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9 / 11

The Kitsch and Clutter Gift

Worst: A different ex once gifted me TWO stuffed animals on Valentine’s day. I had explicitly asked him not to (ever) purchase me stuffed animals, but he did and to make matters worse — they were stuffies that sang! I think he securely wanted them for himself because I caught him cooing over them on more than one occasion. Great guy, though!

Best: One year for my birthday, my ex gifted me an external hard drive, and honestly, I was so happy I cried. The hard drive came with a note about how I needed to start backing up my writing, and you can imagine how bright my inner Carrie Bradshaw was shining at the moment. – Shorey A., writer, Slice

A tunnel going through an aquarium, showing a shark swimming overhead

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10 / 11

The Thoughtfully Themed Present

Best: One year for my birthday my girlfriend at the time surprised me with a trip to the Ripley’s aquarium which I had been raving about going to since it opened earlier that year. Not only did she surprise me with the trip, but she found a XXL button-down shirt patterned with massive lobsters on it. The shirt was way too big and had a slight stench, but I was overjoyed with the surprise and wore it the entire day. Unfortunately, in the end, we weren’t each other's lobsters. – Wylder R., social strategist, Food Network Canada

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The Copy-Paste Gift

Worst: The worst gift I received was a Tile Mate. My ex only got it for me because he got one for his mom (she loses things easily), and he thought I would like one. I didn't. I rarely misplace my belongings. I would have preferred nothing. Which he also generally gravitated towards. Nothing or constant breakups.

Best: Ever since I was little, my favourite film has been The Lion King. I have not wavered on that. I even wrote my Masters's thesis on the film. The first man I ever truly fell in love with bought me a cloth, in-the-theatre-hall-sized (AKA giant) poster of the film. I didn't ask for it because I never knew it existed. But it is hands down the best gift anyone, let alone an ex, has gotten me. – Ashani J., writer, Slice

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