Sex Tips to Give to Our Younger Selves

‘Don’t feel ashamed for wanting sex, or for wanting to try new things. Everyone has different wants, needs and desires, and you shouldn’t feel bad for telling your partner what you want. One major red flag. If you open up to someone about your desires in bed and they judge you or make fun of you for it, repeatedly, just end it. Don’t waste your time with them.’ - Shamefree Between The Sheets

‘Even if you consent to, or even initiate sex, you can stop at anytime throughout. Consent is always ongoing. If it's trash, just stop. Having said that, even if you don't exercise the sexual agency you wish you had in a certain situation, don't beat yourself up about it. Talk to people you trust about any sexual experience that didn't feel right and don't ever be silent. Always remember you're never alone.’ - Silent No More

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‘You don't have to date (or sleep with) boys. You don't have to like them or adjust your behaviour for them — or pretend to like them to fit in with your girl squad. That being said, dating girls also has its challenges — finding someone to connect with mind, heart and groin is hard. If you're feeling lonely, talk to your friends and rescue a beagle — don't just give it up to pretty things who are just as lonely and need an ego boost. PS, you're allergic to almond oil — so don't let some tatted up femme talk you into it.’ - The Resident Gaysian

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‘Sexual intimacy is not a band-aid for any problems you may be experiencing in your relationship. It doesn't matter how pleasing you might be, it ain't gonna fix anything. I wish I could explain this sage advice to my younger self. This was a hard lesson for me to learn and when I finally did, I understood the person I need to give my attention and nurturing to is myself! Once I put my own self-love into action, my life dramatically changed. I found a partner who I could be both sexually and emotionally intimate with and feel at ease. It's like a breath of fresh air!’ - Diving Deeper

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Good sex - even great sex - doesn't mean the person is good. For. You. Sadly, sex is sometimes not about intimicy, but about power and control, so always trust your gut if the person doesn’t make you feel good about yourself and your relationship outside the bedroom — you’re wiser than you think. And remember that you don't owe anybody your sexuality. - Rearview Realizations

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‘Younger self, be safe, yes. But you don't need to get super paranoid/anxious about getting an STI. It's not necessary to get tested after every time you get it on. Especially if you use protection. Once a year is fine.’ - Safe, Not Sorry

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‘Being comfortable in your own body and voicing your sexual needs and desires is paramount to having a happy, equal partnership, so spend some time exploring and figuring out exactly what you want in bed. Otherwise, you'll find the emphasis is too often only placed on the importance of the male experience and you'll be left wanting. Also, if you're not getting off, don't fake an orgasm! Your partner needs to know if there's something else they can be doing to make it a pleasurable experience for the both of you. Speak up for what you want and need.’ - No (Wo)Man Left Behind

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Don't let anyone make you feel bad about what you want or how you look. Sex is supposed to be fun and exploring what gets you off is more than half of that. Explore yourself and with your partner. Also, re: your body? In the end, everyone involved is happy you're naked. Just moisturize so you're not ashy. Not cute. - Owning The Skin I’m In

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‘As a woman, you don't have to feel shame around sex. You don't have to feel ashamed about wanting it, doing it, enjoying it, or any of that. It's about an exploration of self and understanding this side of you is integral to understanding who you are as a person.’ - Takes One To Know One

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