Vanderpump Rules All-Seasons Recap

In the beginning of Vanderpump Rules, there were six: Stassi Schroeder, Scheana Shay (née Jancan), Jax Taylor (né Jason Cauchi), Tom Sandoval, Kristen Doute, Katie Maloney and boss Lisa Vanderpump, of course. Eight seasons later, the main cast has swollen to 16 SURvers — many of whom do not actually work at the legendary West Hollywood restaurant where The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills spin-off began.

With most of the Vanderpump Rules OGs having left their WeHo apartments for domestic bliss in the suburb of Valley Village, new blood has been brought in. And while their BAC may be just as high their predecessors, it is difficult to recreate the core cast’s lightning in a Vanderpump Rosé bottle.

Let’s start from the first shift at SUR and take a stumble down memory lane with our Vandpump Rules all-seasons recap.

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Season 1: The first shift

Vanderpump Rules began as a spin-off of RHOBH, with Scheana being the former mistress of Beverly Hills Housewife Brandi Glanville’s ex-husband, Eddie Cibrian. When she arrived at Lisa Vanderpump’s restaurant SUR, Scheana was greeted by queen bee Stassi, who was dating bartender Jax. Also on the payroll were couple Tom Sandoval and Kristen Doute, and Katie Maloney. Scheana was met with distrust by Stassi, Katie and Kristen — vintage Mean Girls behaviour from the trio that continues throughout the series.

RELATED: What has Lisa Vanderpump been up to since leaving RHOBH?

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Season 1: SURvival of the fittest

So many Vanderpump Rules traditions began in season one, including the SUR float at the West Hollywood Pride Parade, rumours of Jax cheating and Stassi’s iconic birthday meltdowns. After Stassi and Jax broke up, he proceeded to crash her party in Las Vegas and gets into a shirtless fight with her new boyfriend, Frank. Never one to be outdone, Jax then begins dating fellow SURver Laura-Leigh — who he proceeds to sleep with in various washrooms before dumping after an AA meeting. He subsequently finishes the season by admitting to Stassi that he did in fact cheat on her.

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Season 2: Tit for tat(too)

Early in Vanderpump Rules season two, in an attempt to win Stassi back, Jax gets her name tattooed on himself — and then came the cheating triangles. Tom admitted to Kristen that he had previously made out with new fellow SUR bartender Ariana, and Kristen finds torturous ways to help him make it up to her. Katie also tells Stassi a rumour that Kristen and Jax slept together, which she subsequently investigates all summer. Meanwhile, Scheana gets engaged to Mike Shay and so begins Vanderpump Rules’ first (but certainly not last) wedding saga.

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Season 2: Chaos in Cabo

Then comes the second season edition of Stassi’s birthday meltdown in Cabo, which Jax is not invited to but crashes — with other women, naturally. Mexico also brought out Tequila Katie, the irrationally angry and drunk version of the artist formerly known as Katie, who gets into an argument with her boyfriend Tom Schwartz that ends with him dumping his beer on her. Back stateside, it is revealed Kristen did sleep with Jax, which causes Stassi to slap her in one of the most iconic Vanderpump Rules moments ever. Apparently violence is the answer; at Scheana’s engagement party in the season finale, Tom Sandoval also punches Jax before departing with Kristen.

RELATED: Everything you need to know about the new Vanderpump Rules cast members.

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Season 3: The wines of change

Stassi returns from living in New York; she is no longer a SURver, but still hates Scheana. Everything has changed in her absence, with her ex-boyfriend Jax getting a nose job and Kristen dating the new British busboy, James Kennedy. That doesn’t stop Kristen from doing her best to ruin her ex Tom’s relationship with Ariana, and it becomes apparent quickly she is still in love (read: unhealthily obsessed) with him. Where one door closes… well, another one closes for Kristen — she also gets fired from SUR for yelling at a manager. Jax is seeing two equally forgettable women this Vanderpump Rules season (sorry, Carmen and Tiffany), while Peter goes on the most awkward date in recorded history with one-season-wonder hostess Vail.

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Season 3: Unhappy endings

Lisa opens a new bar, PUMP, where she hires and fires Tom Schwartz after he has a panic attack and ditches his first shift. It legally would not be a season of Vanderpump Rules without cheating and Kristen becomes fixated on a rumour that Tom Sandoval was unfaithful to Ariana in Miami and convinces the other woman, Annemarie, to fly to Los Angeles and appear mid-shift at SUR. Ariana stands by her man and they GTFO in a waiting Uber. Meanwhile, Tom Schwartz admits to Katie that he actually did cheat on her and she takes him back, though he she does give him an engagement ultimatum — and he gives her a ring on a string. Scheana gets married at the end of the season in a crop-top dress of her own design, with Kristen punching James in the parking lot of the reception. (Un)happily ever after, right?

RELATED: The most iconic Vanderpump Rules moments.

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Season 4: Fresh faces, y’all

This season gifted the world with Lala Kent and Brittany Cartwright, both of whom Jax was sexually interested in because it’s Jax. He is officially dating Brittany, who he meets at a Hooters, imports from Kentucky and buys a new seat of breasts. In return, she lets him use the toilet with the door open. Scheana’s marriage begins to crumble under Shay’s alcohol and drug addictions. Having disparaged all her friends and former employer, Stassi returns to LA from another failed attempt at living in New York and begs Lisa for her life back. Somehow, she convinces Kristen and Katie to be friends with her again and they unite against Lala, who they refer to by many un-feminist names.

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Season 4: Put a ring on it

Couple Kristen and James are still fighting like cats and dogs, if animals could legally chug tequila. She thinks he has a drinking problem, he thinks she has a cheating problem. After one last hurrah on the hood of his BMW, they break up forever with him spitting on her door and she begins dating Katie’s former hook up, Carter. He, meanwhile, seemingly falls head-over-Yeezys for Lala. While on the cast trip to Hawaii for Tom Sandoval’s birthday, Jax gets so obliterated that he steals a pair of sunglasses and ends up with felony charges — worse yet, he has to face Brittany and Lisa. Speaking of life sentences, Tom Schwartz finally proposes to Katie and, while their engagement party gets messy, it does bring everyone together for the finale.

RELATED: What is Lisa Vanderpump's net worth.

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Season 5: Rumour has it

Vanderpump Rules season five launches with Jax spreading a rumour that he caught Kristen and his girlfriend Brittany hooking up, which the latter vehemently denies. Dynamic duo James and Lala show up on the scene drunkenly fat-shaming bride-to-be Katie, who will spend most of the next 20-ish episodes lording her wedding over everyone — particularly as her fiancé, Tom Schwartz, asks her for a pre-nup and gets cold feet. Tom Sandoval and Ariana’s relationship runs into non-fiction friction when she starts to write a bartending book and he gets jealous. While allegiances change faster than you can order fried goat cheese balls, Stassi, Katie and Kristen seem united against James and Lala.

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Season 5: I dos and don’ts

Lisa partners with Tom Schwartz and Tom Sandoval on her next bar, TomTom. Meanwhile, DJ James Kennedy gets fired from SUR and must beg for his job back; Lala stops showing up to events and work as she has also begun dating Randall, a mysterious wealthy producer. Katie and Tom’s joint bachelor/bachelorette party in New Orleans is a walk down Bourbon Street, with innumerable screaming matches, guest appearances by Tequila Katie and the boys getting dressed in drag. When the Bubbas finally do get married, Lisa officiates the ceremony and they honeymoon in Bora Bora — an event that is crashed by Stassi. Unfortunately for Scheana, her marriage to Shay does not last the season.

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Season 6: Is it about the pasta?

Vanderpump Rules season six begins with a bang when it is revealed that Jax cheated on Brittany by sleeping with ex-SURver Faith Stower while she was caring for an elderly woman — of which is caught on tape, of course. Lala is back, now a kept woman, and forms a close friendship with new hostess Billie Lee, the series’ first out trans cast member. Meanwhile, her relationship with James begins to collapse after they get into a heated drunken argument where he refers to her boyfriend as “the fat man” and explains to her that, “IT’S NOT ABOUT THE PASTA!” James has allegedly cheated on his college-aged girlfriend Raquel with his best friend Logan and potentially Kristen, but still manages to launch the wildly successful See You Next Tuesday event at SUR. Stassi and Ariana have clashing birthday parties, with the former experiencing.

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Season 6: Rob, Rob, Rob

Stassi introduces the world to her on-again, off-again boyfriend Patrick, who blocks her while he is on vacation and harasses Lisa Vanderpump. Scheana has also begun dating a man named Rob and Rob is the only thing she talks about all season, including how Rob can hang a television in 7 minutes and Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob. It’s a Robsession. TomTom is starting to come together, though Tom and Tom are not impressing Lisa with their boyish behaviour. Despite being cheated on, Brittany still throws Jax a birthday party in Mexico where Kristen and James allegedly hook up, she throws water in his face and Jax announces he might move to Florida. Back in LA, everyone gets a sneak peek of TomTom and Jax has a full-on meltdown — flipping off Lisa and cussing at Ken. Did we mention Rob?

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Season 7: From Jax to Jason

Following the tragic death of his father after last summer, Jax reassesses his life and decided to propose to Brittany, who promptly tells the world, “I’M ENGAAAAAAAGED” from her balcony. The two become both partners in life and business this season, launching their beer-cheese company. Stassi has found a new man, Beau, who she must share with the rest of the world because everyone loves him. She also launches a new holiday, Outfit of the Day Day, and debuts her friendship and joint winter-themed birthday party with Ariana. No amount of fake snow can cool off her annual meltdown, however. James’ drinking spirals and he manages to insult literally everyone this season, including fat-shaming Katie at Pride, which gets him fired from SUR.

RELATED: Stassi's 10 best reasons to be totally basic.

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Season 7: Flight of the PJ

Scheana is dating her so-called best friend, bar-back Adam, and moves to Marina Del Rey, which appears to be somewhere in Lower Mongolia. In classic LA vibes, everyone seems to be (half-heartedly) bettering themselves — with James considering sobriety, Stassi seeing a witch to exorcise her demons, and Jax and Brittany in couples’ therapy. Lala takes everyone to Solvang on Randall’s PJ (translation: private jet), where Kristen’s travel anxiety causes her to behave like… well, Kristen. Tom and Tom invite everyone to Mexico to party before the launch of TomTom, where Schwartz and Katie have one of their worst fights ever over him getting upgraded to first class and not giving her his seat. Everything comes to a close with Jax and Brittany’s engagement party, though it’s clear her traditional family have reservations about Jason Cauchi.

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