In the land that manufactures Happily Ever After storylines, “till death do us part” is very unlikely. Yet even with low expectations, these marriages go down in history as the briefest unions in Hollywood history, even by blink-and-you’ll-miss-it celebrity standards.
Colton Haynes and Jeff Leatham
If you feel like you just heard about these two saying "I do" you're right. After getting engaged in March 2017 and married in October 2017, Colton Haynes and Jeff Leatham have quietly plugged the plug on their relationship. Well, you know, as quietly as any Hollywood breakup goes, with Colton Haynes deleting all Instagram photos with his ex, erasing “husband” from his bio, and changing his name from Colton Haynes-Leatham to just Colton Haynes. Subtle.
Jennifer Lopez and Cris Judd
If there’s anything Jennifer Lopez loves, it’s love. After a brief first marriage to waiter Ojani Noa and a very high profile relationship with Puff Daddy, Jennifer Lopez married unknown choreographer Cris Judd. The marriage quickly fizzled, and Cris went from being her +1 at the Oscars to the backup dancer of JLo’s romantic biography.
Pam Anderson and Kid Rock
Pamela Anderson turned her all-Canadian beauty into an all-American success story, finding fame, fortune, and more than a few husbands in La La Land. After meeting in 2001, the two dated and were engaged for two years before splitting. In 2006 they rekindled their romance and were married on a yacht in St. Tropez. By the time their GQ Newlyweds of the Year photoshoot hit the stands, they had raced one another to the courthouse to file divorce papers.
Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon (x2)
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again? Pamela and Rick, a professional poker player best known as Paris Hilton's sex tape partner, put that philosophy to the test when they married a second time, reportedly lasting around six months before he filed for an annulment, and she filed for a divorce.
Drew Barrymore and Tom Green
Drew may have been older (and slightly wiser) the second time around, but her marriage to Tom didn’t survive a calendar year. The two were hit with some terrible luck during their relationship, including his testicular cancer and a house fire, and that, along with the usual pressures of being a tabloid target, sunk the couple.
Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney
This wedding came as a shock to fans as this relationship was entirely under the radar. Chesney has since said that he was not committed to married life, and the relationship unraveled shortly after the wedding. But it wasn’t without tabloid drama – “fraud” was listed as the reason for separation, leading to years of salicious rumours.
Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Esposito
Before he hit it big with The Hangover, Bradley Cooper was just another actor trying to make it in LA. He and Jennifer Esposito made a very good looking couple, but things weren’t so great behind the scenes: in a her 2014 memoir, she wrote about an ex who was a master manipulator.
Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley
Lisa Marie is no stranger to eccentric characters – Nicholas was her third husband, after Michael Jackson. Nic was a diehard Elvis fan (and shot to fame impersonating the King in Honeymoon in Vegas), but their personalities clashed spectacularly; both said the marriage was a match made in Heartbreak Hotel.
Drew Barrymore and Jeremy Thomas
What says “forevermore” better than a drunken proposal in an alley? During Drew’s rebellious years, she married British bar owner Jeremy Thomas after dialing a 24-hour hotline and summoning a psychic/minister to the groom’s workplace. If only the psychic could have tipped them off to the divorce that would quickly follow.
Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds
What has been described as a “disaster” by all, the lavish (but not legally binding) wedding near Bora Bora cost $500,000 for just 25 guests. The newlyweds publicly fought about everything from Eddie’s mother's disapproval of the bride to what their living arrangements would be. They never made it official on US soil.
Mario Lopez and Ali Landry
Don’t let the dimples fool you – Mario Lopez is no angel. He admitted to cheating on Ali Landry at his bachelor party in Mexico, and though he realized he was not in love with her, he chose to go ahead with the wedding anyways. Photos of his infidelity quickly surfaced, and the marriage went kaput in less than a month.
Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian
When news of this divorce broke, “72 days” became a punchline on late night talk shows everywhere. Audiences were also treated to the entire trainwreck on TV -- Kim ugly cried a lot and confessed to not wanting to live with Kris. Despite their brief time together, he wasn’t so willing to let go. He dragged out divorce proceedings, and they were still technically married (but not at all together) when she got pregnant with North West.
Britney Spears and Jason Alexander
What happens in Vegas can turn into a legal headache that lasts months – just ask Britney Spears. After flying her childhood friend, Jason Alexander to Vegas in a private jet, they enjoyed the sights and sounds of the Strip (and maybe a footlong margarita or two), ending up at the famed Little White Chapel. Once her management team found out the wedding, they quickly put an annulment into action, and Jason signed the papers without a financial settlement. His ticket home was economy class.