Celebrity Moms Who are Hilariously Real About Motherhood

"I've conquered a lot of things...blood clots in my lungs — twice... knee and foot surgeries... winning grand slams being down match point... to name just a FEW," Serena tweeted, "But I found out by far the hardest is figuring out a stroller!" The struggle is real.

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"Children are f*cking crazy," the actress told Glamour, back when she and Ashton Kutcher only had one child, daughter Wyatt. "They're also suicidal. Like, at the park, certain jungle gyms have an opening for older kids to jump out of. She's 19 months; she can't jump. She just walks off it as if she's on a pirate ship." With son Dmitri added to the mix a few months after this interview came out, we bet Mila and Ashton have their hands full.

During Blunt's first pregnancy, with eldest daughter Hazel, she revealed to Vogue, "I feel good, although I do wake up feeling like my grandmother. I sleep with a fortress of pillows around me. I've got one of those huge C-shaped ones. My husband calls it Gary." Gary AND John Krasinski? Lucky lady.

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"You know how once you have kids you never ever pee by yourself again?," she asked Us Weekly. "At least one of them is always in there with you at all times." It's what moms everywhere have been complaining about from the beginning of time, yet it still can't be solved.

Wilde had thoughts about another part of the body children take from women. "You haven't seen your vagina in months, even though it's all her fault you're in this situation," she wrote in Shape magazine about those first weeks of motherhood. "Now that you can finally confirm that she is, in fact, still there, she isn't the gal that you remember — and would rather you back off and give her some space (and an ice diaper) for the time being, thank you very much."

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The mom of two has recently been accused of looking too skinny. But instead of telling haters to mind their own business, the actress blamed it all on her kids. "For the umpteenth time — because people love to comment on my body (or lack thereof) my children sucked the life out of my body and left behind a bag of bones," she tweeted. "I don't know what else to tell you. I miss my boobs too — I don't even know what to call them now."

She later added good-naturedly that she hasn't had time to buy new bras, so the ones she has "are like empty shells of their former life." HA!

Her morning routine is simple — and loud. "My current alarm clock is the blood-curdling screams that I wake up to," she told Us Weekly. "I bolt down the hallway thinking that someone's fallen out of their crib or broken their arm or, I don't know, drowning in the sink, and then they're just like 'Good morning, Mommy!'"

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Wong is every woman who knew she was ready, right then and there, for a break. "I didn't expect to be so comfortable handing my child off to a nanny without getting any of her information," Wong told Paste Magazine. "As soon as she arrived at my house, I threw my baby in her arms and went to Target. She gave me her driver's license a week after — she was like, 'Uh, you should probably have my address, since you gave me the keys to your house and your child.' And we were like, 'Oh, yeah, that's probably a good idea.'"

The singer sometimes needs a four-hour break every day. "It gets crazy. Everybody knows that whole 4 to 8 at night is like chaos. It's like the crazy time in our house," she told Ellen DeGeneres while appearing on her talk show. "The other day we were driving home and I was thinking, 'OK, Motel 6. If I can just find one and go there and disappear. Disappear from my life.'" Pfft, four short hours. They might not even notice she's gone.

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Unlike Stefani, Witherspoon's busy time is in the mornings. "People know not to call me before 8:15AM, because 8:15AM is when everybody needs to either be on the bus or at school and then my whole life starts at 8:15AM," she told Entertainment Tonight. But, funnily enough, it doesn't get any quieter.

"We have rules around the house. I always say if you aren't yelling at your kids you're not spending enough time with them. [I'm] just telling everyone to clean up all the time."

The new mom spoke to Women's Health Magazine, in which she likened motherhood to "that second day in Vegas where you're all, 'I'm not sleeping Saturday away. I'm going to day-party and rally!' But your body is like, 'Are you crazy?' You're exhausted and you kind of start to feel a little ill because you haven't slept." Yup. We feel you, Gabi.

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"Having a baby is just living in the constant unexpected," the actress told the L.A. Times. "You never know when you're gonna get crapped on or when you're gonna get a big smile or when that smile immediately turns into hysterics. It might be like living with a drug addict." Scary, but true.

For the singer, it's all about getting sleep, be it while her daughter's focused on a screen ("'Babe, Mama's just gonna take a quick nap here while this iPad babysits you.'") or taking a spin around the house ("Yeah my kid rides her bike inside. Without clothes. And helmets. While I ignore her and look at my phone."). She'll take a rest anytime and anywhere she can get it and doesn't care what judgy people and the Instagram police have to say about it.

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The mom of one wrote in her book Bossypants, "When the crystal meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half and stick with beer." It's really all we can hope for, by then.

The singer got real about pregnancy. "Anytime I see someone pregnant, I just pray for them. [Pregnancy] was literally the worst moments of my life. I'm not kidding — I wish I were that girl that [had good memories of pregnancy]. But no. Nope. Don't miss it."

Clarkson even likened her reaction to something much more serious, telling People, "It's as if someone was in an accident — they're pregnant, I'm like, 'Oh my God.'"

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When describing what it's like to be a working mom, Faris told Redbook, "Motherhood is like a big sleeping bag of guilt." Nailed it! And, if we're being honest, it takes years for that sleeping bag to get rolled up and stashed away in storage.

"It's like having the worst crush of your life," she told Oprah after her first daughter, Olive, was born. "I drive home with heart palpitations like, 'I can't wait to get to her.' I think, 'Is she going to call if I play my cards right?'" If she wants to, you know, be fed and clothed, then, yeah.

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"It's a wonderful day when your child gets old enough to be bribed," Poehler wrote in her book, Yes Please. "It's a whole new tool in your arsenal." Just don't overuse said tool because then they catch on.

"Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy," she once said. Yup, just keeping her expectations realistic.

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The supermodel, cookbook author and colourful commentator has said about a million real things all mothers can relate to but nothing beats her tweet shortly after arriving home after having her first child, daughter Luna. "No one told me I would be coming home in diapers too." Raise your hand if you also were not aware of this not-so-fun fact? Uh-huh, been there and, sadly, done that.

Just more reasons why Chrissy Teigen is the most relatable mom on the planet, you're welcome.