25 Healthy Relationship Questions to Discuss With Your Partner

Being in a relationship can be fun, particularly in the early honeymoon phase of it all. As more time goes by and things get serious, reality begins to set in and it’s easy to wonder if this could be a long-lasting thing.

Communication is key and whether it’s a tough topic to tackle, problems you’re having with one another, or simply an issue that needs focus, it’s important for both of you to know that you can talk to the other about anything. Nothing should be off limits and you should be able to discuss or ask about anything and everything.

April Masini, relationship and etiquette expert of Relationship Advice Forum, weighed in on the questions that need to be asked. From fun relationship questions to what some might consider tough and controversial, focus on these things you should probably know before establishing a life with your potential life partner.

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Have you dated a lot?

"To try and figure out if your partner has commitment issues — or is a serial monogamist," Masini believes this simple — yet deep relationship question is one to ask that's not too tough to answer.

RELATED: 10 signs your partner is a narcissist.

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Have you done a lot of online dating?

We live in the era where online dating is the way to go for many singles, but if most of their interactions have been via phone and not in person, that may say something about their personality in general. Though they shouldn't be written off as awkward or introverted; they just may have been waiting for that perfect someone to meet IRL.

RELATED: 10 mistakes to avoid on your online profile.

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Have you ever lived with someone?

"[Here's] a way to find out how your partner has been in past relationship and what they may expect from you," suggests Masini.

SEE ALSO: These are the things you should never do while in a healthy relationship.

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Have you ever been married?

"This is a great question to ask early on," states Masini. "For many people this can be a deal breaker, and for most people this is a really interesting gateway into who the person you're dating is."

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Where did you go to school?

"If one of you dropped out of high school and travelled the world, that person is going to have a very different take on life than someone who went to the finest private schools, and works at a corporate law firm," details Masini. You may think you share the same views but there may also be some stark differences that you don't notice right away.

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What did you study?

Getting more insight into what they studied, and whether or not that kept that up or switched interests, tells a lot about a person.

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Do you like your job?

Feeding off the last point, this is a little telling on whether they stuck to their guns and continued to pursue what initially floated their boat vs. following something that struck their fancy later on.

RELATED: What to do if you hate your job.

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Did you wind up doing what you wanted?

For those who are still trying to figure out what they want to do, it tells a lot about how passionate a person is about something and how that passion continues to thrive — or not. "Compatibility is very important here," says Masini. "You can learn a lot, early on, about each other."

SEE ALSO: 20 surprising jobs you can do from anywhere.

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Do you own or rent?

"It's not good manners to come out and ask someone how much they make," warns Masini, "But you can be stealth and ask where and how they live," thus learning a lot about their finances (and sussing out whether they live on their their own, have roommates, or still live in a parent's basement).

SEE ALSO: Where are Millennials bleeding their money?

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Are you a spender or a saver?

Masini considers this one a "deal breaker," so "if you ask now, you can find out if you have a gap to bridge with this person, or if you're compatible when it comes to these issues."

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How do you handle debt?

Tying into the last slide, realistically, the way you deal with money and debt can make or break a couple when looking at the big picture and whether the relationship will, and can, endure.

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How honest should we be with one another?

Yes, honesty is something that every good, lasting relationship should have but some people don't think everything needs to be shared with their partner. And a little mystery is OK — but you need to be on the same page. Keep in mind, though, trust is important and if there are secrets being kept, that may not bode well for your future.

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How did you express your emotions and feelings growing up?

A person's upbringing says a lot about them and what family means to them, whether it's the roles of parents, siblings, how conflict was handled, how family members communicate. By asking this tough relationship question, it can give you a better understanding on where they're coming from and how that will form your own system as you embark on a future together.

SEE ALSO: 10 reasons why you can't get over your ex.

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How do you deal with conflict?

An open and honest discussion about how your partner handles conflict, deals with difficult emotions, and stressful situations. Does they avoid any kind of conflict, lash out or shut down when they get angry. These are the tough relationship questions that need to be addressed.

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Does your family live nearby?

These are really important questions, and you should discuss them sooner than later. You don't want surprise drop-ins that come way more often than requires.

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Do you see yourself having any children?

If ever there was a question that could make or break a relationship, it's this one. But it needs to be asked.

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Do you have any kids?

If they were previously married or long-term relationship, the possibility of children being in the picture is strong. And it's an important question to ask, especially if you plan on having kids together.

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What’s your parenting and custody relationship like with your ex and their family?

If they do have kids from a former relationship, you need to know what you're dealing with and if the split was amicable or not.

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How do you and your ex handle holidays with the kids?

Another critical kid-related query, this will affect — hopefully, only in positive ways — holidays going forward.

SEE ALSO: Here's how exes can still be friends.

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Why did your last relationship end?

It can be uncomfortable and some people want to avoid the subject completely but discussing why the last relationship came to an end can inform whether or not any baggage remains, how they coped with the breakup. This can also inform you on how your partner has dealt with conflict in the past and if you notice any similarities between their past relationships and your own, a pattern may need to be examined.

RELATED: How your attachment style affects your relationships.

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What do you consider cheating?

Cheating sounds like a dirty word, but it can mean different things to different people. There's an actual physical affair or one-night stand, there's emotional cheating and there's even financial infidelity. So you need to draw the line on things like watching porn, texting other people or receiving a drink from someone at a bar while out with friends.

SEE ALSO: Once a cheater, always a cheater? According to these signs, the answer is yes.

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Ideally (though, realistically as well), how often would you like for us to be intimate?

There are some people who need to have sex every day, and there are those who can deal with once a week. If you can't come to a compromise, it might not be the best fit.

Speaking of numbers, Masini says a big no-no is asking a person how many people they've been with. "Stay away from the question about peoples' sex numbers — especially early on. This is a question that in the wrong circumstance, can feel aggressive and provocative."

RELATED: Why Millennials are having less sex than any other generation.

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Is there anything you/we haven’t tried sexually that you’d like to?

"You can get a few clues about your partner's sexual interests by talking to them," suggests Masini. "For instance, you can figure out if your partner has very kinky ideas, is into threesomes or some fringe stuff, simply by talking to them."

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Where do you love or want to be touched?

"Questions about sex are tricky because you want this topic to flow, and not seem too forward or too awkward," explains Masini. "So get into this topic by riffing off of other ones — like past relationships or other dating experiences."

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What are some things we can do outside of the bedroom to keep the feelings of intimacy going all day?

"You want to find out what kind of expectations and interests your partner has so that you can figure out if you're sexually compatible," Masini adds. "Not all of this happens in bed."

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