20 Rules for a Happy Marriage

“Some people say ‘I love you’ and some people will show ‘I love you’ — make sure that your partner understands your message, and work out what you both need — then try to accommodate each other," says psychologist Meredith Fuller on kidspot.com.au.

When emotional needs aren't met, it can lead to cracks in the relationship. For more, read up on why women cheat.

"We advise couples to practice telling each other what they are feeling and what they need," says John Gottman, world-renowned researcher and co-author of 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage. "Even if such expression brings conflicts to the surface." This will increase trust between partners. Keeping quiet is just one of 10 little things that can ruin relationships.

"We've found that [celebrating the] positives are more and more important," says Howard Markman, co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver and a leading marriage researcher. "It turns out that the amount of fun couples have and the strength of their friendships are a strong predictor of their future."

Just look at these celebrities who married young — we can all learn a thing or two from the pairs who've made it.

Don’t know what the 5-to-1 rule is? Here’s a short synopsis: "In stable marriages, there are at least five times more positive interactions than negative ones. When the ratio starts to drop, the marriage is at high risk for divorce. In real life, no couple can keep a running tally of positive and negative displays. There are hundreds of them that happen... For every snide comment or negative outburst in a marriage, a person needs to ramp up the positives so the good-to-bad ratio doesn't fall to a risky level." Like this rule, here are more ways to divorce-proof your marriage.

"We know from marriage and divorce research that it's the everyday things — having fun, connecting, and showing you care — that make or break a marriage," says Debra Castaldo, author of Gifts of Love. So think about the little things you can do to make your love happy on a daily basis.

See more things happy couples do each and every morning.

After 39 years of being happily married, Dr. Phil says couples need to find their own path to happiness. "There is no right or wrong way to fix a relationship. Find your own way that works. But recognize when it's not working and be honest when it needs fixing." If you suspect your partner is being unfaithful, don't ignore the warning signs. Here are the top 19 ways to tell if someone is cheating on you.

"Early on in a relationship couples talk as friends, they do fun things," says Howard Markham, co-author of Fighting for Your Marriage. "But over time, those ways of connecting change." His tip? Spend plenty of time alone together, so you can connect like you did when you were first dating. These date night ideas will keep you warm all winter.

Relationship expert Terri Orbuch says complimenting each other on the regular will go a long way to increasing your happiness as a duo. “Compliments, help and support, encouragement and subtle nonsexual rewards, such as hand holding [all go a long way]... Men crave affective affirmation more than women, because women typically get it from people other than their husbands."

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Helen Fisher, author of Why Him? Why Her?: How to Find and Keep Lasting Love, says "When you begin to feel irritated at your partner, instead of reviewing everything you don’t like, turn your thoughts to all the good things about him or her.” The most enduring marriages are the ones where people talk about what they like about someone instead of dislike. Take it from these celebrity couples who prove true love stands the test of time.

Dr. Phil also says couples should be good friends. "The quality of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it is built on a solid underlying friendship and meets the needs of the two people involved." Being totally connected is just one sign you've found the one.

"My husband and I used to take turns giving a bath and reading books to our daughter at bedtime," says Alisa Bowman, author of Project Happily Ever After. "But one night, my husband crawled into bed and listened while I read to her. It was a very sweet moment to have us all lounging there together, and now we do it regularly. It only takes a few minutes to read a bedtime story, but I always feel closer to him when it's over."

See more expert ways to make your relationship stronger than ever.

In her book For Better: The Science of Marriage, Tara Parker-Pope says rolling one’s eyes at one’s spouse is a painfully obvious sign of contempt, so don't do it.

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"If your sex life is diminishing or you're not having sex as often as one partner in the relationship would like, then you have to make getting your intimate life back on track a priority," says Howard Markham, co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver. "It's ironic that when we're wooing our partners, we make this tremendous effort, and after we get into a relationship, we put that on the back burner."

If you're in the comfort zone, don't stress. It's a good thing to be fully comfortable in your relationship, as long as you keep the spark alive.

In the same book, Tara Parker-Pope says everyone will be tempted to cheat on their partner... At some point. The key to not succumbing to the urge is to fill your head with warm and happy memories that you've shared with your partner; the feeling of love will overwhelm the feeling of lust.

“It’s important to listen respectfully,” says Fred Sander, a psychologist and marriage counsellor. “Let one person speak for four minutes and the other listen, then trade. If you listen for four minutes, at least you know what the other person is feeling instead of just shooting them down.”

Don't let lack of listening be one of the reasons your relationship is failing.

Every partnership will require compromise at some point, and sometimes that will mean your wants will have to take a backseat to what your partner needs. “You can still work towards your goals, but maybe they will take longer to achieve, because right now you choose to help your husband study for a post grad course or delay moving interstate so he can care for his elderly father," says psychologist Meredith Fuller. Just be sure it's not one of the things you should never ask your significant other to do.

“Tough spots will always occur — one partner might get sick, get the sack [at work] or need to attend to a dying parent,” says psychologist Meredith Fuller. The key to making a marriage last is to stick out the hard times and to support your partner through thick and thin. Believing that love alone is enough to keep your marriage strong is just one of the 10 biggest relationship mistakes you may be making.

"Don't be secretive about how you feel," advises Gordon Neufeld, a clinical psychologist and co-author of the bestselling Hold on to Your Kids. "If you swallow your feelings, you lose intimacy."

Careful, or else you may end up like these celebrity couples who called it quits recently.

"Before you say anything, visualize holding your partner's hand, then talk about the things that are difficult," suggests Gordon Neufeld, a clinical psychologist and coauthor of the bestselling Hold on to Your Kids. "If you lose that feeling of being connected because you're furious, bite your tongue." Remind yourself of the 20 things you should never do in a healthy relationship.

LiveScience.com shared a fascinating fact after analyzing surveys of more than 1,000 married and unmarried adults: "people tend to choose their spending opposites as romantic partners ... the financial opposites had greater conflicts over money and lower marital satisfaction in the long run than those whose spending tendencies were similar.” The key takeaway here, if you disagree on money, is to learn why your partner spends the way they do. From there, you can come up with a mutually understood way to manage your finances.

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