Most affairs don’t happen overnight, and often it’s the case that these things begin with the smallest spark and evolve into something more over time. In some cases, you may not even realize you’re engaging in behaviours that could potential lead you into some murky waters. We chatted with registered psychotherapist Susan Valentine, who specializes in relationship therapy, to help shed some light on these red flag behaviours with 17 hidden signs you might be headed for an affair.
Sign #1: You’re keeping secrets
Cautions Susan, “Keep in mind that dishonesty can damage a relationship. And betrayal can happen even without an affair.” While we’re on the subject, check out our list of things you should never do in a healthy relationship.
Sign #2: You’re confiding in this other person
Sign #3: You make negative comparisons
Sign #4: You keep your phone extra-close
Notes Susan, “If you really have nothing to hide, it shouldn’t be a big deal if your partner picks up your phone when it pings.”
It happens in Hollywood all the time. Take it from these celebrities who married their mistresses.
Sign #5: You’ve been daydreaming
Wondering which well-known figures once made waves with their own not-so-private indiscretions? Check out our breakdown of scandalous love affairs that changed history!
Sign #6: You’re rationalizing
Sign #7: You’re turning away
It's possible to save the relationship. Just look at these celebrities who survived cheating and stayed together.
Sign #8: You’re extra irritable
Sign #9: A diminished libido with your partner
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Sign #10: You’re suddenly into new activities
Speaking of new activities, try rediscovering new things to do together with your partner by establishing a weekly date night, just one of our top 15 ways to divorce-proof your marriage!
Sign #11: You’re more focused on appearance
Sign #12: You’re more distracted
Worried about your love life? Check if you can pick up on any of these 9 signs your relationship is failing.
Sign #13: You feel distant from your partner
Sign #14: You’re talking more about this person
Learn how to spot more red flags with our list of the top 10 reasons why marriages fail.
Sign #15: You’re making excuses
Sign #16: You’re more critical
When you find you’re no longer feeling part of a team, it may be time to reevaluate where your mind – and heart – is truly at. It’s also easy to criticize when the demands you’re making of your partner are setting them up to fail. Think you might be guilty of this? Check out our breakdown of things you should never ask your significant other to do.
Sign #17: You feel resentment
As a final thought, Susan notes, “Some of these behaviours on their own may not be alarming, or mean you’re headed for an affair. But if you recognize a few, or even more, you may want to check in with yourself about where you are heading.”