There are certain things you should never say to a bride in the lead-up to her big day — obvious things being “You’re wearing that?” and “Are you sure you want to marry him?” But there are also some subtle questions and statements that should be left out of your pre-wedding chat repertoire. Here are a few such examples courtesy of a gal who’s all set to walk down the aisle.
It’s just a party, don’t fret.
Yes technically that's true, but it's not wholly the case. This is a once-in-a-lifetime event and we want to make it great in our mind's eyes.
Did you gain weight?
Here's the thing about getting engaged, in the lead up to your big day you're almost constantly cheersing someone or taste-testing a dish that will be on display. That may lead to weight gain. I'm good with it if you are.
Wow! You’re doing a lot for your wedding. What’s your budget!?
Uh, no. This isn't info you need to know. All you need to know is we've done what we can with the money we allotted to our big day. Enjoy it!
I hope you haven’t decided to do X, Y or Z at your wedding?
It's nice to give input on vendors, etc.—and that info is super helpful—but it's not so great to tell us that you're going to judge us for the way we've setup our big day. We chose what we chose. And remember: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
Are you nervous?
No, I'm not nervous—or at least I wasn't until you asked me that question. And now that I'm thinking about whether or not I'm nervous, maybe I am. Thanks for that.
You’re going to have so much free time after your wedding!
I suppose I will. But your line of questioning implies that I'm not enjoying what I'm doing right now; I'm busy, but I'm enjoying the wedding planning process. It'll all be worth it!
You’re having your wedding there? It’s so hard to get to.
I completely understand that weddings are hard to travel to—and we really appreciate you coming to our big day. That said, this was a location that spoke to us and we're really looking forward to having our big day in this space. Once you get there, we think you'll completely agree with our choice!
Can I bring a date/kids? (Also: Where’s my invitation.)
I'm really sorry to say, but if your beau/kids weren't expressly invited, they probably aren't on our guest lists. That's not because we don't love them (we do!). It comes down to budget and space.
Is that a grey hair?
Probably. (Wedding planning equals stress which could equal grey hair?) Also, so what if it is? Maybe I'm the type of bride who's going for the "au naturel" look?
Don’t be a bridezilla!
To that I say: "What's your definition of Bridezilla?" (Also: self high-five.)