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Why Your Boyfriend Tries to Make You Jealous

Why Your Boyfriend Tries to Make You Jealous

If you’re seeing a guy and things seem to be going well, then I’m sure it would throw you off if he – at times – mentions that other women flirt with him, booty call him, hit on him, etc. And yet, many straight men share these details with the leading ladies in their lives, oblivious to how much it pushes them away.

Why is he telling you this? What should you do when he shares this with you? How far is too far?

His insecurity is real: he needs reassurance

Though I don’t know your particular partner, when a grown man brags to his partner about other women taking interest in him — it’s his latent insecurities manifesting in very frustrating ways. While it’s a terrible way to go about it, this very well could be his awkward way of asking for reassurance; wanting you to see what a catch he is. He is likely boasting not to offend you, but instead, in an attempt (maybe subconsciously) to capture your undivided attention.

To be straight: boy wants his ego boosted. Sure, this isn’t the best way to go about it, but because of things like toxic masculinity being a thing, it can be tough for some men to own their feelings and tell women they need more attention. By sharing these details, your man is  trying to show you that he’s a “hot commodity” and likely just wants you to give him some reassurance. Be sure to compliment your guy and be appreciative, so his need for attention doesn’t go outside your relationship. It’s an insecurity of his, so as his partner you need to help make him feel loved and secure.

His emotional intelligence is low: he likes to push your buttons

Some men like to push buttons. It should go without saying that this isn’t healthy, in fact, it’s toxic. Sometimes, when the need for power or a sense of control arises, the emotionally immature resort to actions like button-pushing to elicit reactions. We all learn through reward and punishment. The next time he throws his tantrum and tries to throw other women in your face, instead of responding how you normally would, try responding in a different way by setting clear boundaries. This will throw him off and likely stop him in his tracks. Oh, and if the guy you’re dating refuses to grow and continues to  push your buttons, consider Marie Kondo-ing him. The pool on dating apps is deep and you can do better.


His self-awareness is lacking: he’s oblivious

The last option in this situation is that he’s painfully oblivious. If it bothers you when he mentions something, communicate it to him. Say that you know he likely didn’t intend to hurt you when he said whatever it was that triggered your negative feelings, but you’re feeling down and that information doesn’t make you feel good.

I mean if all these girls are stroking your man’s…ego, then what is he doing to make them think that they can? He is likely playing a role in it, whether it be leading them on or otherwise, which is absolutely concerning. Let him know that hearing about these situations – and he even being involved in them in the first place – bothers you, and then offer a solution. Whether the solution is for him to be more aware of the impression he gives other women, or to not share this information with you, is your call. Just make sure you have a conversation about it, as opposed to just demanding he do what you say.

More advice

Find out these 10 things cheaters always say.


Image credit: unsplash

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