After two weeks in Muskoka, the RHOT ladies are back in the city this week. But they return with a little vacation baggage, and a much-discussed cottage injury.
Is Kara exaggerating her cracked ribs just the teensiest bit? In the Housewives universe, the answer to “Is she exaggerating” is uniformly yes, 100% of the time. But we’re going to hold off on any official judgement and let Detective Jana handle the case instead.
(Before we jump in, make sure you’re caught up on the last episode’s Queen Bee)
Here’s how Kara and the other ladies fared this week:
Kara
+2 Uses her injury to turn her kids into servants
+5 Sends a video message to Roxy’s b-day, like an actor accepting an award from set
-5 The ladies don’t buy her injury
-3 Her shady champagne flute gift for Joan is not a hit
Kara’s in a bad way this week, and we don’t mean her cracked ribs. Her grand gesture of sending a video message to Roxy (hilarious, TBH) landed with a thud and made the ladies question her intentions – and her injuries.
Her last real ally left is Joan, but she’s skating on thin ice with her, too. The massive champagne flute she bought her as a gag gift comes off as a cruel jab rather than a harmless tease.
Whatever issues she’s having with the ladies, though, Kara’s still clearly Queen in her own home. Just look at this family-sized air hug:
Total: -1
Roxy
+5 Roxy finally gets the birthday party she deserved
+3 Roxy and Lola make a pretty incredible cake topper
-2 Has to watch a video of Kara at her party
After politely enduring Kara’s totally-not-a-surprise-party party last week, Roxy finally got the birthday party she deserved. It was bold and flashy, just like the little red dress she wore to it.
Plus, how cute did she look alongside her dog Lola as a cake topper?
Total: +6
Grego
+3 Grego is a bombshell in every piece of lingerie she tries on
+2 She’s able to pull the wool over Roxy’s eyes with ease
+2 She has a husband who’s willing to go for couples manicures
+2 Then he surprises her with front row tickets to see Queen Céline Dion
Pierre may be the babeliest of the RHOT husbands (sorry, fellas: we’re calling it!), but he’s not just a pretty face. He’s also super sweet. Like, couples manicures sweet. Tickets to Céline sweet! It’s a little unfair, honestly. All that and she looks good in every piece of lingerie she tries on, too.
Total: +9
Ann
+3 Ann’s custom sling for Kara is FABULOUS
+2 Her party for Roxy rectifies Kara’s massive slight
+2 She may be rich, but Ann knows how to haggle for a deal
Ann scores points this week for being a good friend. Her party for Roxy totally rights Kara’s wrong and Roxy is thrilled. She may be wasting her time with Kara, though. This is the second week in a row Kara’s paid dust to one of Ann’s sartorial gags.
First she doesn’t even crack a smile for Ann’s “Couture Fishing Hooker” look, now she won’t wear the custom pink sling she got for her? If someone can’t roll with the over-the-top accessory you gifted them, Ann, perhaps she’s not the friend for you.
Total: +7
Joan
+3 Joan has boats docked in Muskoka and the city
+1 Joan’s assistant Paul is sassy af
-1 Says she’s “Switzerland” in Roxy and Kara’s feud
-2 The rain on the day of Joan’s yacht party is ironic, don’t you think?
Can we get a little bit more of Joan’s sassy assistant Paul, please? He was full of cheeky quips leading up to Joan’s boat party and we’re dying for his full report now that he’s met all the ladies. Bring him back stat, Joan!
Total: +1
Jana
+5 Jana knows a sling and broken ribs don’t go together
+2 Invites Roxy to sound therapy just to see if she can be quiet
+1 Jana knows a chant to make the sun come out
+4 …and it actually works!!
+5 Detective Jana gives Kara an interrogation
Jana’s gone full-on Detective She-lock Holmes and we can’t get enough of it. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out a sling isn’t much good for a broken rib, but it did take some real ladyballs to call her out.
Jana has clearly had enough of Kara, but she was able to poke a few holes in her story without getting nasty. It was skilful detective work and brave Housewife-ing, and for that, Jana is our Queen Bee this week.
Let’s review the questioning:
First: Casual, calm. Inquisitive!
Then: Bam! Bam! Follow-up after follow-up.
And, finally: A nice, good long stare.
Jana totally missed her calling as a Bad Cop. She’s put her skills to good recreational use, though, and earned a week with the RHOT crown on her head.
Total: +17
