The One Thing I Wish I Knew Before My Wedding Day (and 15 Lessons I Learned)

Despite my best efforts to be the care-free bride-to-be who coolly goes with the flow, it turns out preparing for your big day is, in fact, not a piece of (wedding) cake. In the ensuing year, that “I said yes!” engagement bliss came with a growing list of to-dos that made my head spin. It all ended in the most magical, memorable day of my life… but I certainly could have benefited from more sleep in the process. Here’s what I learned (because hindsight is 20/20) to help you navigate your way toward the best day ever.

Feature image courtesy of Scarlet O’Neill

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Brittany Devenyi
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What I wish I knew from day one

Planning a wedding is a full-time job (I mean, that’s why people hire wedding planners). That's all to say, planner or not, it’ll take up more time than you think. And that’s okay, just don’t be an overachiever like me and overwhelm yourself. Get better at turning down plans if you need downtime. Don’t obsess over trivial details (more on this ahead). Ask for help when you need it. Big or small, every wedding will come with its own set of tasks to tackle.

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Scarlet O’Neill

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Hiring a planner saved my sanity

Our venue came with a day-of coordinator, so my husband and I debated the need for a wedding planner in addition. We thought we could do the rest on our own (spoiler: we couldn’t). We finally settled on month-before planning, where a wedding planner steps in six to eight weeks ahead of the big day. We wouldn’t have survived without Shaw Event’s expertise come crunch time.

RELATED: The ultimate wedding planning checklist every bride needs to follow.

Scarlet O’Neill

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Engagement photos can be fun

We were dead-set against engagement photos. They seemed too staged and cring-y, we said. Until we found Scarlet O’Neill, and browsed her lifestyle shoots. She snapped photos of us at our home, and I soon realized how special it is to have professional shots that capture our every day. The shoot also helped us get comfortable with our photographer and meet her in person pre-wedding.

SEE ALSO: 17 bridal makeup styles for stunning and timeless photos.

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Wedding showers aren’t necessary

I didn’t have a wedding shower, and it raised a few eyebrows. My husband and I have lived together for a few years, so we’ve already amassed a respectable number of grown-up essentials (avocado sock, anyone?). Having a shower didn’t make sense to me. Despite others’ opinions, do what makes sense for you instead of following the same format just because it’s what’s typical or expected.

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Don’t do a face mask the morning of your wedding

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Don’t do a face mask the morning of your wedding

My makeup artist called me “brave” for using a mask I’d never tried before on our wedding day. When she went to apply foundation, my entire face started flaking. Whoops. Thankfully, the “peeling” was leftover face-mask goop and not my actual skin being stripped off. Lesson being, today is not the day to experiment with new beauty products. Stick to your standard morning routine to avoid any surprises.

SEE ALSO: How much being a bridesmaid can actually cost you.

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Cheesy wedding music can be avoided

It’s called a “do-not-play” list (I’ll admit mine was shamefully long). But we didn’t even need it thanks to our bad-ass DJ (shout-out to DJ Donna Lovejoy) who played Motown, actually spun vinyl and totally read the crowd. “Cotton Eye Joe” and Journey were peacefully absent from the dance floor.

RELATED: These celebrity wedding dresses bring on the drama in surprising ways.

Don’t check the weather (seriously, don’t do it)

Scarlet O’Neill

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Don’t check the weather (seriously, don’t do it)

We wanted an outdoor ceremony, and when you pick an arbitrary date more than a year in advance, who’s to say what Mother Nature will throw at you? The week before, rain was in the forecast, at which point my phone’s weather app was getting more love than Instagram. But our wedding day ended up being sunny and beautiful. Sure, you need a back-up plan, but once that’s established, don’t sweat what’s out of your control.

RELATED: The perfect ages to get married (and the worst).

Scarlet O’Neill

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Your veil might betray you

On that note, despite the sunshine, it was rather windy… so consider that fact. The second I turned to walk down the aisle, my veil had a plan of its own, yanking me back with such force, I nearly fell backward. Cue my mom frantically try to tame it without drawing any attention to us (I’m not sure we succeeded). The veil was barely hanging on by a thread for the ceremony, but at least I remained upright!

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Don’t go overboard with sweets

Mini cookies on the table as party favours. Tiny bite-size cupcakes on display. Plus cake. Plus a plated dessert. The leftovers could have fed another wedding. We froze most of them, and guests took desserts home, but if you're looking to save, remember: when it comes to late-night eats, people crave salty over sweet (the poutine station and hot dogs were a hit!).

RELATED: 30 fabulous wedding desserts that aren't cake.

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But also try all the food

With the food you do get, eat it all! You deserve it! We were so busy running around and dancing like no one was watching that we forgot to actually taste most of it. We still day-dream about the flatbreads and French fries that could have been ours that night.

SEE ALSO: 20 rules for a happy marriage.

Scarlet O’Neill

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Walk a mile in your wedding shoes

I didn’t do this enough. I’m not a high-heel person on the best of days, and really wish I’d practiced my stride before walking down the aisle. I ended up changing into platform sneakers soon after the ceremony (also recommend investing in a pair of these).

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Scarlet O’Neill

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A ‘first look’ was the best decision

This lesson totally depends on the couple, but we didn’t care so much about waiting until the ceremony to see each other for the first time. Instead, we did a “first look” a few hours before, where we got to be together before the wedding and soak in the day. If you’d rather wait until the ceremony, carve out a half hour to escape between speeches, just the two of you.

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Scarlet O’Neill

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Seating charts will test your patience

Here I was, thinking the hardest part about planning a wedding was fine-tuning the guest list. Where people sit is the easy part, right? Wrong. It took many iterations to figure out this people puzzle, and once we finally made it work, someone would decline last-minute, shaking the pieces up again. Learn from me and don’t overthink it. If one table has seven guests and another 12, it’s really not the end of the world.

RELATED: 20 celebrity couples who married later in life.

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Get creative with the guest book

We weren’t going to have a guest book at first. But then our planner recommended a Polaroid version! Guests snapped a photo, taped the tiny print into the book, and wrote a message beside it. It was the best for two reasons: one, our family and friends loved it, and two, we had photos to look through the next morning. We also took the Polaroid and extra film with us on our honeymoon the next day.

SEE ALSO: 10 of the world's most extravagant royal weddings.

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Take your honeymoon the day after

Even though this means planning a trip in conjunction with a wedding, it’s worth it. If travelling isn’t in the cards, opt for an extended long weekend somewhere closer to home before acclimating back to real life… because the post-wedding blues are a thing. Also: don’t plan your trip too hard. You’ll be exhausted. A plane ticket and place to stay are all you need. Figure the rest out when you get there (it’s more fun this way).

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Scarlet O’Neill

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Remember: it’s just one (very fun!) day

Despite me leading by saying planning a wedding will take more time than you think, there’s a difference between being prepared and letting it consume you. Make time for other things in life. Stay grounded. The point is, you’re spending your life with the person you love most in the world. The wedding itself is just an incredibly fun and special way to celebrate that.

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