The Meanest Things Ever Written About Tinsley Mortimer

In the mid-2000s, it was constantly noted that Tinsley’s pops George Mercer was a “former discount carpet salesman.” He did in fact owned a carpet cleaning business called Mercer Rug and Carpet Co., but the characterization apparently irked papa George so much he called up the New York Daily News and listed off his family’s society credentials (they’re in the Social Register!) and bragged about Tinsley growing up with a nanny, two gardeners and a butler.

Here’s another riff on the used carpet thing, via Jezebel: “Who is Tinsley Mortimer again? Well, she is a narcissistic blond Virginia carpet salesman's daughter who aspires to be a reality TV star.” Ouch!

When people say Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian are “famous for being famous” that’s totally a read. But when Tinsley hit New York’s social scene, she wasn’t even afforded that descriptor. The New York Post instead bluntly branded her “famous for nothing.”

This one comes via Tinsley’s ex Topper. But he said it while they were still together. In front of her! In front of a New York Times reporter! When asked about Tinsley’s socialite fame, he was openly dismissive – and openly shady. Here’s the full subtweet of a quote: “It’s not necessarily the type of goal that anybody should strive for, going out every night for the sake of self-promotion and getting their pictures taken...I mean, these are girls who went to good colleges. You would think they’d have something better to do.”

Right after Tinsley split from Topper, the New York Post put him on their Most Eligible Bachelors list. It wasn’t even a thinly veiled diss. It was just a diss diss.

When Tinsley was spotted consummating a very fake relationship with American Idol castoff Constantine Maroulis, NY Mag snarked “Tinz, you’re one Michael Lohan cameo away from being Jon Gosselin. For the love of Calvin, get a hold of yourself!”

After Tinsley went public with allegations her ex Nico physically abused her, Nico’s mother Nicole said some pretty crazy stuff to the press about Tinsley. Take this with a giant grain of salt, but, as per Nicole: "She hides in the bushes, she hides in her car, she puts cigarettes out in his face, did anybody ever tell you that? This makes Fatal Attraction look like a cartoon. She's insane.”

During Tinsley’s first reality TV stint, she had a legendary feud with Devorah Rose, a never-was socialite who haaaaated Tinsley. In retaliation for Tinsley ignoring her, Devorah said and wrote some pretty nasty things, including calling her a “lowly classless creature” who has “the morals, willpower and hunger for camera time of a drunken co-ed flashing a ‘Girls Gone Wild’ camera.” Savage.

Pre-RHONY, Tinsley had her own reality show and it was an unmitigated disaster. Producers apparently didn’t find her interesting enough on her own to carry the show, which would have been a blow on its own, but then they cast an over-the-top crew of hangers-on to film with her, including Jules Kirby, who proclaimed in the first ep that using the “n” word was no big deal.

Over the years, Jezebel, and its one-time sister site Gawker have said some nasty, hilariously nasty, and not altogether untrue things about Tins. Trashing her nose job was way rude and “despicable” more than a touch harsh, but some of their Tins descriptors were hilarious...

“Self-important with a ridiculous name”? Rude, but true. “Living Christmas ornament?” Hilarious. “Talks like a bird,” LOL what even? The crown jewel: “Disintegrated along with the market in 2008.” Too real, y’all. Too real.