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Family

Pregnancy Tweets That Are Hilarious, Even If You’re Not Expecting

by Denette Wilford

June 5, 2017

If you’re pregnant, ever been pregnant or even never had no plans to be, these tweets will still make you chuckle. Moms-to-be, you have our deepest sympathies but just remember, we’re laughing with you, not at you.

Cookies on the floor are out of reach

Twitter

1 / 40

No cookies for you!

Clever bastard.

Lost socks are gone forever

Twitter

2 / 40

Rock ’em, no sock ’em

Barefoot's easier anyway.

Junk and organic is a good balance

Twitter

3 / 40

GIve and take

It's all about balance.

Peeing pants for the first time

Twitter

4 / 40

Proud moments

Sadly, it won't be the last time either.

Farts are funny

Twitter

5 / 40

Farts are funny

When you're past the point of caring.

Everything takes longer when preggers

Twitter

6 / 40

Timing is key

Just add an extra hour to everything.

Pregnancy tests are evil

Twitter

7 / 40

All the signs

But that would be too easy.

Pregnancy test ads are unrealistic

Twitter

8 / 40

Get real

And were bloated.

Pregnancy means peeing, a lot

Twitter

9 / 40

No more sleep

Bye-bye, bladder control.

Facebook and Twitter react very differently

Twitter

10 / 40

Social misfits

Friends care. Followers, not so much.

Dollar store pregnancies are a no-no

Twitter

11 / 40

Don’t cheap out

You get what you pay for.

Social lives change when pregnancy happens

Twitter

12 / 40

Must-see TV

Oooh, just wait until she sees what she'll be watching once baby is born.

Emotional roller-coaster

Twitter

13 / 40

If she didn’t know it before …

Here come the waterworks!

Babies get so many clothes

Twitter

14 / 40

Sharp dressed little man

And he'll outgrow most of them before he gets a chance to wear them.

Sex doesn't always equal pregnancy

Twitter

15 / 40

Not funny

Unless it's with a breeder, you'll probably just ruin the moment.

Pregnancy tests aren't usually wrong

Twitter

16 / 40

House rules

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Clothes no longer fit

Twitter

17 / 40

Spring cleaning

So. Many. Totes.

Water breaking is no joke

Twitter

18 / 40

Fakeout

Probably better than admitting he woke her up.

Sexy and he doesn't know it

Twitter

19 / 40

Whoomp, there it is

Heh.

Give up your seats for pregnant women

Twitter

20 / 40

Women just KNOW

We get it.

Pregnancy brain is real

Twitter

21 / 40

Bless you

Hey, it happens.

Big babies are never fun

Twitter

22 / 40

Big problems

That hashtag though ...

Moving sucks when pregnant

Twitter

23 / 40

Gold medalist right here

So. Much. Grunting.

Time for a new doctor

Twitter

24 / 40

Buh-bye

Is there a new doctor in the house?

Cravings change all the time

Twitter

25 / 40

Craving everything

A woman's allowed to change her mind every now and again. And again. And again.

Don't steal a pregnant woman's food

Twitter

26 / 40

Food issues

Oh, if only.

Food gets stuck in all kinds of places

Twitter

27 / 40

Hot chocolate

Now it's all melty. (Not that it stopped her from eating though.)

Uncle forgets you were pregnant

Twitter

28 / 40

Argh

Revenge can taste so sweet.

Throwing up, all the time

Twitter

29 / 40

Brush it off

It is what it is.

Don't mess with a pregnant woman

Twitter

30 / 40

Back off

Burn, baby, burn.

Husbands don't always suck

Twitter

31 / 40

They’re not all bad

Sometimes they just know.

Death by pregnant woman

Twitter

32 / 40

Get ready to rumble

Watch out, her earrings are already off and her dukes are up.

Gasping for air after a flight of stairs

Twitter

33 / 40

Take a deep breath

Oh, no, he didn't.

Fake babies don't count

Twitter

34 / 40

Bogus baby

Spontaneous sweater pregnancies never work. But sometimes, neither does the real thing.

Spooning is no longer a thing

Twitter

35 / 40

No more cuddling

At least it's not forking.

Kids don't get what happens in the womb

Twitter

36 / 40

Kids say the darndest things

The DARNDEST.

Kids really don't get what happens in the womb

Twitter

37 / 40

Smart mouth

Same goes for Mom.

Breastfeeding is tough

Twitter

38 / 40

Old soul

Such wisdom for a little one.

Crocs will save a pregnant woman's feet

Twitter

39 / 40

Desperate times

It's come to this.

Kids will drain you

Twitter

40 / 40

Things will change

When it starts all sweet and then, bam! Real life.

Family

Denette Wilford

Written ByDenette Wilford

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