You asked — we found you answers. We rounded up a few dudes who weighed in to sniff out your situation and help you with what to do next when you’re trying to get with a new beau while working on your fitness. Here’s what they say — and if you play it right, you’ll be able to avoid the awkward if things don’t land in the world of forever and always.
Question: There is this amazingly good-looking guy at the gym I attend, we are both always there at the same time. Whenever I pass by him he smiles at me, and I smile back at him. We both do that “I’m not looking but I’m really looking at you” glance, so I’m wondering if he’s interested in me. Why hasn’t he asked me out? Or should I ask him out?
Answer: I wouldn’t jump to asking him out, but I would pull the old, “Excuse me, is this elliptical trainer in use?” Get a machine beside his and strike up a conversation. You should know pretty quickly if his come-hither glances were the real thing or just the testosterone talking. — Josh
Answer: Gym goers are slaves to routine so I wouldn’t read too much into your being there at the same time. And without seeing these “I’m not looking but I’m really looking at you” glances first-hand, it’s hard to say whether this person specifically is into you. And, not to completely burst your bubble, but a smile from other gym goers — the same faces you see every time you’re there — isn’t confirmation they want to date you. Your best bet is to see whether he’s at the gym to work out or to pick up. Does he wear earphones? Does he take them off when he’s working out near you? Does he keep his head down and concentrate on his routine or do his eyes wander for 10 minutes between sets? If he seems open to conversation then one day chat him up. Then chat him up the next day, which will be so much easier as you two now have this “history.” If he still seems more into chats than squats, ask him out for a coffee. —Sergio
Answer: I think some natural conversation at the weight stack or on the cardio machines is all that is required. I’m sure he doesn’t want to be labelled the guy trying to score chicks at the gym so he’s hesitant on making a move. You have the benefit of already being in a social atmosphere and you don’t have the pressure of a date interrupting good conversation, use it and then make your decision about a date after. —Richard
Answer: Well, if he likes looking at you so much, he probably wants to get to know you a bit better. He could be shy or maybe he thinks it’s sleazy to pick up a girl at the gym. Or maybe he’s married. You never know. If you really want to know what the situation is, go say hi! —Chauncy