Fighting like mad? Bored in the bedroom? Skipping the sweet talk? We’ve all been there! Every relationship is bound to go through a rut at some time or another. The important thing is diagnosing and fixing the problem early so you and your beloved can get back on track. Here are eight signs you’re in a rut, with a few tidbits on how to tackle each issue.
The Communication Rut
The Fix: To spark new conversations, spend some time together listening to podcasts or reading the newspaper. Share tidbits you find interesting then openly discuss why you view something the way you do or why you find an issue compelling.
For more ideas, try any of these 40 ways to breathe new life into your long-term relationship.
The Planning Rut
The Fix: Unlike the 20 things you should never do in a healthy relationship, every couple has to spend some of their relationship planning. That said, it needn't take up all of your time. Set aside some minutes each week to chat about the "future" on a walk to your favourite coffee shop. Once the lattes have been sipped shift your focus to enjoying the beautiful real-time moments you have with your partner.
The Daily Grind Rut
The Fix: Plan some time for just you and your honey. Do your best to ensure this happens once a week, whether those hours involve you heading out for dinner or simply staying at home to watch your favourite Slice shows. Downtime is so important to strengthening your bond as a twosome. Not to mention, sleeping with your partner has many benefits. Read on for 10 interesting facts about sleeping with someone else.
The Sex Rut
The Fix: Every couple goes through bouts of reduced sexual activity. The key is to ensure there's nothing larger happening under the surface. Chat through everything to see why your bedroom time may have dwindled. From there, discuss ways to spice it back up! Sext each other during the day, or make it a priority to get intimate in other ways (like holding hands while walking). You can create a fantasy jar full of sexy activities to try or even switch up the location you get it on in.
Ensure you're set for success by brushing up on the 10 biggest relationship mistakes you're making.
The Fighting Rut
The Fix: While arguing is a normal part of any relationship, massive, regular blow ups are not. If you can't seem to keep your tempers under control, try to shift gears. Remember you're talking to someone you love. Change the tone of the dialogue by discussing how you're feeling in a calm, rational manner. If that doesn't work, hit pause on the discussion until you can both come back and be a bit more level-headed. You may also want to consider talking about your fights with a professional who can coach you through tackling them together.
The Weeknight Rut
The Fix: Mix it up! Make it a priority to try at least one new thing together a week (that could be an art class or even attending a seminar or lecture). Rotate who picks the task on the regular so no one partner feels like they're calling the shots.
The Chores Rut
The Fix: Set aside some time to tackle chores together. Not only will this ensure neither of you are working when the other is not, science has proven partners who share cleaning duties feel closer and more intimate than those who do not.
The General Rut
The Fix: First things first: don't panic. Even the most stable of couples go through cycles of malaise. Second, sit down with your partner to chat through your issues. If both of you have been feeling this way for some time, discuss the option of seeing a couples therapist. If that doesn't work (or your partner isn't into the idea) take a step back and evaluate the relationship long-term. As sad as it is, some pairings aren't worth saving. If you aren't happy now, figure out whether you can be -- and with this person -- down the line.