Let’s first get this out of the way. Moms are awesome. They do a lot, more than is expected, more than is expected, more than you can ever imagine. But some moms tend to be a particular kind of irksome on Facebook. Yeah, yeah, we should never judge (because we don’t want to be THAT person) but come on — you know who they are.
You know you have some Facebook friends who ARE those moms and dads. The parents who share everything, whether it’s a one-up, humblebrag or straight-up brag. Heck, you might even be one. Pfft, nah. Not you. Because you know exactly what not to do to be labelled that annoying parent.
1 / 20
Don’t be braggy
Social media is kind of built for braggarts — but that doesn't mean we have to like it. Bragging is one thing; humblebragging takes it to a whole new annoying level. "If only my kid wasn't in the gifted program. Then she'd have more time to work on getting her third straight gymnastics gold medal and we wouldn't feel totally guilty heading to Miami for her dance competition. #yolo." Blech.
2 / 20
Oversharing ain’t caring
When your timeline looks like a minute-by-minute account of your daughter's day, that's too much.
3 / 20
Stop posting every single pic
That 50-photo album — with captions, of course — after your son's first birthday (which he won't remember, by the way)? Forget scrapbooking. Facebook is the ultimate baby book.
4 / 20
Stop posting pics that are so obviously set up
Those who say kids are impatient obviously don't have moms that don't believe in the candid shot. The lighting, filter and pose have to be just so.
5 / 20
Everything doesn’t need a hashtag
There's #nothinglike a mom who #lovesherkid because they make her #soproud. #thebest (a.k.a. #theworst)
6 / 20
Comparing your kid to other kids is a no-no
Anything your kid can do, the one-upper and his/her offspring can do better. Because parenting on Facebook means never feeling like you're doing a good enough job, and everyone else is doing it better.
7 / 20
So is comparing your own kids to each other.
Well, this is just wrong on so many levels, which is why it's so irritating.
8 / 20
Maybe don’t favour one child so obviously
Saying one daughter is the best daughter in the whole world isn't super-great for your other two girls. Just terrible.
9 / 20
Dial it down
Paranoid, panicky posts about a coyote spotted two towns over or linking to scientific articles and conspiracy theories that are dubious at best only solicit eye rolls.
10 / 20
You don’t always have to be the oh-so-wise one
Sometimes you just want to vent about parenting. But the know-it-all won't let you. She'll try to fix everything with her pearls of wisdom.
11 / 20
Providing unsolicited advice needs to stop
There's nothing more frustrating than having people offering advice you didn't ask for, want and probably already knew in the first place. What works for some kids doesn't work for all. So zip it!
12 / 20
Don’t forget how to Google
Instead of typing a query into the search engine, they'd rather take their questions to Facebook, whether it's "When's Father's Day?" or "What should I do for my baby's 100-day party?"
13 / 20
Not everything warrants a complaint
Parenting doesn't come with a manual so half the time we're just making it up as we go along. And that's cool. But it's also cool to bitch and moan about its frustrations every now and again. But when that's ALL you do, everyone wonders why you ever procreated.
14 / 20
We don’t all need to know you’re a crafty bugger
If peanut allergies weren't a thing, my kid would be getting PB & J five days a week. If she's lucky, a string of cheese, an apple, maybe some Goldfish crackers. But Facebook is here to show you how you're only doing the bare minimum, what with the organized Bento boxes of all five days already ready to go.
15 / 20
Providing too much information is gross
Providing too much information is gross
16 / 20
Try not to rub your perfection in everyone’s faces
Everyone's got one perfect friend. They live in a nice house, drive nice cars, love their jobs, Mom only gained weight in her tummy while pregnant, then looked like a supermodel an hour after giving birth (naturally, with no epidural, and the baby just flew out, of course), Dad manages to get home in time to make dinner, all while training for his latest marathon, their children all speak a different language, play instruments, excel in sports and are on the honour roll and, the most annoying part? They aren't picky about food. Flawless Facebook families only make you seethe, and have you wondering how you've made it this far.
17 / 20
You don’t always need to prove you’re the cool mom
Showing off that you're the fun mom who still gets loads of "me time" only angers the bitter moms who are folding laundry and already in bed when your status update shows up.
18 / 20
Have better things to do than post memes all the live long day
It's wine o'clock somewhere. We get it.
19 / 20
Vaguebooking are obvious cries for attention
Cryptically posting about "starting a new chapter in the book of life ..." will undoubtedly garner comments of questions, concerns, maybe congratulations. You might be patting yourself on the shoulder but we just want you to 'fess up already.
20 / 20
Stop liking and commenting on other moms’ annoying posts
All you're doing is encouraging their outrageous behaviour. Enough with the enabling.