15 Ways to Keep Your Friendships Healthy and Thriving

There’s a reason humans are a social species. Evolutionarily, our survival depended on our friends having our back. As a result, we’re so sensitive to this idea of belonging, we’re hard-wired to avoid being excluded. In modern days, women continue to face different challenges than men, and this bond is ever more critical. In fact, a Harvard Business Review study found that women simply do better when they have a strong circle of friends around them. They are more likely to hold executive positions, and more likely to have higher pay. And the benefits don’t stop there. Whether it’s laughing silly during a low-key night in, celebrating key milestones, or stepping up for each other during life’s hardships, here’s how to nurture your own wolfpack.

/love/photos/ways-to-keep-your-friendships-healthy/
22480

Unsplash

1 / 15

Be willing to be vulnerable

Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself in front of your friends, and embrace your quirks, strengths and weaknesses. Chances are you’ll teach others it’s safe to do the same. This joint vulnerability is where trust is born.

RELATED: The most honest celebrity quotes about body image issues.

Unsplash

2 / 15

Be trustworthy and reliable

Take that trust and cherish it. Show up for your friends — consistently, and not just when it suits you.

SEE ALSO: How to trust and be trusted in a relationship.

Unsplash

3 / 15

Truly listen

Don’t just have conversations while planning your next point, and don’t rush to offer solutions to problems. When your friend is talking, do nothing but listen to them. Sometimes that’s all that’s needed. If your friend asks for advice, do the following...

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Genius career advice from the most powerful women in the world.

Unsplash

4 / 15

Offer honest advice and practical support

Sometimes we turn to our tribe as our sounding board, and to reap from others’ experiences, when we aren’t sure of something or if we’re going through uncertain times. Give your friends your honest but constructive take, even if it’s hard to hear (few people will take the time to deliver a heavy message in a thoughtful, tactful way). Do your friends this courtesy. It’s hard to find and therefore valuable.

RELATED: 10 affordable self-care strategies for your mental health.

Unsplash

5 / 15

Invest time in your friends

As we get older, our lives get busier, and we may get out of the habit of regularly connecting with our friends. Prioritize time with your friends and be proactive in reaching out. We all have our patterns for connecting, but it should generally be a two-way street; don’t always rely on others to make plans. Time together is the bond that binds your circle with shared memories and experiences.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: 19 of the best women’s-only adventures you have to experience.

Unsplash

6 / 15

Show appreciation for what your friendships offers you

Don’t take your friendships for granted, and look for the best in your friends. Take time to remind them of why you cherish their presence in your life.

SEE ALSO: 20 pieces of travel advice from women who have travelled the world.

Unsplash

7 / 15

When issues emerge, talk them out

While it’s important to give our friends the benefit of doubt, and enough courtesy slack to take into consideration that nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes, it’s also important to hold our friends (as ourselves) accountable. That means that when something significant rubs us the wrong way, in the spirit of transparency, we should bring it up to our friend in an open-hearted way soon after the transgression occurs. Don’t take the grievance personally, and be patient. Most people don’t wish to hurt our feelings. Look for inroads to reconciliation, and then forgive and move forward. Chances are, soon enough, you may benefit from the same generosity.

RELATED: The 10-step guide to winning every argument with your significant other.

Unsplash

8 / 15

Be patient

Relationships naturally ebb and flow, and people grow and change. Even if you’re facing some rough patches with your BFF, know that this doesn’t have to mean the friendship is done for good (yes, even if they’re acting out of character, and being a first-class self-centred jerk). Sometimes, people are navigating their own issues. Give them space if that’s what they need, but continue being yourself, and remain open to connecting when the time is right.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: How to boost your confidence at work.

Unsplash

9 / 15

Keep your bestie’s best interest at heart

When you’re in a position to make decisions, consider not only what’s in your interest, but what’s in your friend’s interest. Err on the side of respect, and be loyal. The right people will recognize this quality and return it.

SEE ALSO: Celebrity kids qho just happen to be friends, hopefully forever.

Unsplash

10 / 15

Continue investing in yourself

Continue working on yourself, and be the most authentic type of person you’d want to spend time with. Consider what makes you truly happy, and do these things. Putting our focus on our values will attract and keep like-minded people in our circle.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: 11 ways to improve your self-love now.

Twenty20

11 / 15

Don’t gossip or badmouth

Talking behind a friend’s back is toxic and says more about our duplicitous character than our friend’s. It’s hard to build a deep and long-lasting friendship on such a quicksand foundation.

SEE ALSO: 11 habits of successful people.

Twenty20

12 / 15

Don’t be judgemental

Just because something is not the right thing for you, doesn’t mean it’s not right for others. If you’re judging your friends’ worth on certain perceived markers you have or want (and particularly if you’re shaming them for this), you’re closing potential doors on your friends. Make space for your friends to be themselves, not who you want them to be, and of course, value character above materialism.

SEE ALSO: 20 things you should never do in a healthy relationship.

Unsplash

13 / 15

Don’t overtax your friendships

While we all need support at some time or another, if you’re always on the asking end, with little to offer in return, the friendship will eventually bleed out. Similarly, do your best to nurture positivity. Dealing with a Debbie Downer can be draining over time, if that’s the only version of yourself you bring to the table.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Should I see a therapist? A beginners guide to getting help.

Unsplash

14 / 15

Forgo the self-serving agenda

Don’t manipulate or try to steer friendships in a self-serving direction. Friends who hide behind a thin veneer of connection only for what they can extract don’t have deep or very long-lasting friendships. If you truly care for others, you have to fold away your ego, and follow that golden rule: treat others as you would want to be treated.

SEE ALSO: 10 signs your partner is a narcissist.

Unsplash

15 / 15

Know when it’s time to walk away

With all this said, some friendship dynamics are simply not meant to be, especially if the person on the other end isn’t matching your intentions, time and / or effort (and not just temporarily, but over time). If you’ve done all you can, it’s ok to walk away from friends who don’t contribute something meaningful to your life. This newfound space inevitably leaves you with more energy to nurture the right relationships — ones that feel restorative.

RELATED: How to Marie Kondo your friendship circle.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT