We could all use a little more positive psychology in our lives — focusing our minds on “what’s right” versus negative self-talk. But that’s often easier said than done and, as we all know, there’s no doctor’s prescription for self-love. According to research by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor in California, 40 per cent of our happiness and sense of self-worth is controllable — and it’s completely within our powers improve our emotional hygiene and happiness through intentional activities. We’ve outlined some simple strategies to help get you started on your path to better self-love.

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Avoid social comparison
This one's a biggie: For all that we love double-tapping on our friends' Instagram photos or coming up with clever tweets, frequent social media use can result in festering resentment and the breeding of negative emotions. If you find yourself experiencing depression or decreased self-esteem while scrolling through your feed, put your phone down immediately. Instead, try to redirect some of that energy into something positive that involves focusing on your own goals and interests. Being conscious of how much social media is affecting you on a day-to-day basis is pivotal to increasing your self-love. So, be kind to yourself and limit the amount of time you spend staring at your phone.
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Engage in self-care activities
We know — it can be a bit of a slog trying to kickstart healthy new routines, especially when you're feeling down or going through an intense bout of negative self-talk. But engaging in activities that allow you to recharge both physically and emotionally will go a long way toward improving your self-love. Eat nutritious foods, get enough sleep, drink plenty of water and incorporate at least 30 minutes of moderate physical activity into your daily routine and we guarantee you'll notice a marked difference in your attitude.

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Find your happy place
Whether it’s the couch in your living room or a nearby café that makes a mean mocha latte, find a place where you can sit quietly and live in the present moment without interruption. Bring a book, listen to music or a podcast or simply just sit in quiet reflection. Either way, you'll find comfort and solace in having a safe spot you can return to time and again when you feel like you need your emotional batteries recharged.
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Express gratitude
There's a plethora of strategies to help you cultivate gratitude and it can be as simple as writing a letter to a loved one or jotting down a line about something you're grateful for in a Memory Journal. After a month or two of regularly expressing gratitude to both yourself and those around you, you will notice a greater sense of satisfaction with your life.
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Set boundaries
A big "a ha" moment for many people searching for ways to improve their emotional hygiene comes when considering relationship patterns. Whether it's in your love life or with your friendships — or both! — "people pleasing" can result in toxic interactions and negative self-talk. The desire to be liked by others often comes at the expense of our true needs and feelings. Endlessly trying to earn "love" can lead to low self-esteem. Instead, practice saying "no" to situations or people you don't want to be around and take accountability for your past decisions — you can only increase your self-love by being authentic and true to your feelings.

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Treat yourself the same way you treat loved ones
Whenever you make a mistake or feel anxious about something, ask yourself “what words would I use to encourage my parent, friend or partner if they were in this same situation?” Once you recognize that you're more kind to them than you are to yourself, you`ll start to change your way of experiencing difficult situations.
After all, language matters and we can all work to be more mindful of how we use it.
After all, language matters and we can all work to be more mindful of how we use it.

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Pay attention to that self-talk
Remember: Thoughts are just thoughts, nothing more — think of that the next time you find yourself going down the toxic path of self-criticism. Your inner critic can steer you away from living a full life if you let it get to you. To gain control of the situation, you have to acknowledge the negative thoughts when they rear their ugly heads and know how to separate yourself from those emotions. Think about what led to those toxic feelings in the first place — you were late for work, you forgot to call your friend back, you had a bad encounter on the subway — and replace it with reminders of all the wonderful things that make you a good person.
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Embrace positive energy
Unfortunately, some people have negative outlooks on life. Don't let yourself get drawn into all that toxic talk — surround yourself with those who exude positive energy and, when on your own, make sure you create daily rituals that remind you to stay present in the moment and savour the situation. Write it down in a journal, share a hilarious anecdote with a friend or simply just sit and find contentment.

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Nurture your emotions
In some of our darkest moments we often forget to remind ourselves that "this too shall pass." That being said, allowing yourself to fully feel a dizzying array of emotions is essential to your self-love and sense of worth. It's OK to have a bad day, to cry, to feel anger. Surrender to your feelings, and know that its intensity will soon fade. Bottling up our feelings and depriving ourselves of our emotional needs helps no one, especially yourself. In moments like this when you're feeling down, try reaching out to family or friends, or pick up the phone and call someone you've lost touch with.
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Practice kindness
We all have bad days, but we have complete control over how we choose to handle any given situation. Kindness can help us get into the healthy mindset of "I do good in the world." Even the smallest of gestures — offering someone your bus seat or praising a colleague on a project they just completed — helps move you further away from all the negative self-talk that hinders your self-love.
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Know who you are
One of the biggest components of self-love is understanding who you are at your core. Life can be a whirlwind sometimes and it's easy to get caught up in the chaos of it all — to the point where, when we stop to catch our breath, we don't know what we're doing or where we're going anymore. It's time to recalibrate. Stop and consider what goals and intentions are most important to you and make sure you reintroduce them into your daily routine. You might just find yourself falling back in love with yourself — in all your glorious intricacies. Remember, it was RuPaul who said it best: "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"
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