My online dating life is a weekly saga for my friends and family who both enjoy living vicariously through me and laughing with me as I navigate each date. Some dates can definitely be labeled as a disaster and these are few of those horrific highlights. 10877 /love/photos/dating-app-horror-stories/
The foot fiend
What happened next: "I'll never forget the guy who could barely look me in the eye, and no, it wasn't a confidence crisis. He was enamoured by what he called 'toe cleavage' in my heels and the tiny freckle below my pinky toe. I actually have a foot phobia so a man with a foot fetish would never work."
What happened next: "Everyone has had a date with an oversharer and on a first date it's a major turn off. Within 15 minutes I already knew that he had three untreated cavities, that he once dated a 'sociopath' who now lives in Hollywood and his beloved cat Tinker was hit by a car seven years ago. RIP Tinker and that first date."
The nervous wreck
What happened next: "My date one evening was so nervous, he was sweating buckets in the middle of winter when we met. At first, I thought it was endearing that he was so worried about what to say and what to do. But, after knocking over his second beer and this one splattering all over me, I wanted to slip the poor guy a Xanax."
The sweet talker
What happened next: "Everything was going great with one man until after around the fifth date, he started to speak baby talk to me like, 'I want to gwive wuoo a wittle kissy wissy' all the time. I felt like the next thing he was going to do was shove a pacifier in my mouth."
The phone addict
What happened next: "Have you ever been on a first date where a guy's phone won't stop ringing? Instead of turning the device on silent, this guy answered every call. Even the call from his buddy who he talked to for three minutes about the date he was on while I sit across from him. I finished my white wine spritzer and promptly left while he was taking a call."
The MENSA man
What happened next: "On a first date, a guy confessed he was surprised by how 'intelligent' I am. Apparently, pretty girls shouldn't have a high IQ; he claims the insult was actually meant as a compliment coming from him since he is MENSA. Cue a massive eye roll."
The big dreamer
What happened next: "On a first date with a guy, we met at a coffee shop and within 10 minutes he started planning our life together. He had grand dreams of moving out to the suburbs so we could have a large yard for our dogs and six kids. I actually was physically ill from this conversation and experienced what I believe to be my first anxiety attack. Slow down!"
The escape artist
What happened next: "I had been dating this Tinder match for a few months when we got locked in my bedroom—the door handle fell off on the other side of the door! Lucky for me I had a pair of tweezers to help free us out of the bedroom. It was a pretty triumphant feat to get the door open and we shared a props to the team effort of our successful escape."
The chatty Cathy
What happened next: "The male version of a Chatty Cathy is a man you should never go to a movie with, especially one with subtitles. When we first went out, his talkativeness was great but during a documentary I quickly became annoyed by his ongoing commentary. I could barely keep up with the subtitles while he chatted my ear off. After that, each time he opened his mouth to speak I wanted to shove a sock in it."
What happened next: "I was on date number five with one Tinder flame at my condo watching a comedy, but after the movie ended, he turned into one of those guys who overstays their welcome. When I started hinting it was time to go it didn't seem resonate with the guy. Three hours later I had to evict him from my couch and dating life."