How Does Brittany Compare To Jax’s Exes?

Stassi is for all intents and purposes the Rachel Green of the Vanderpump world. (She thinks she’s the Carrie Bradshaw, but that’s a whole other story.) That makes Jax our Ross, and for the first couple of years, they had a twisted will-they-won't-they-kill-each-other thing going on.

Stassi and Brittany are night and day. Sure, they've both paid their dues as SUR-vers for Lisa Vanderpump, but that's pretty much where the similarities end. Stassi's a firecracking fight starter, while Brittany's a mild mannered good gal. They are however, both from the south.

Who could forget Jax's ill-fated fling with Laura-Leigh? Post Stassi, these two shagged in restaurant bathrooms until he unceremoniously dumped her on the street after her AA meeting.

Laura-Leigh and Brittany couldn't be less alike. Laura-Leigh had some of Brittany's cheeriness, but she was plagued by the kind of demons that just don't live in Brittany's land of southern fried lollipops and unicorns.

Tiffany was a short-lived chapter in Jax's dating history. The relationship would be likely be entirely forgotten if it wasn't so messy...

Brittany claims she never watched VPR prior to being on the show and that's actually kind of believable. Who would date a guy they saw on TV cheating on his girlfriend in a hotel room SHE booked so he could spend the weekend with his pals?

Tiffany was unlike most of Jax's girlfriends – she had a real career and real responsibilities. That's no shade to Brittany, but let's just say dating a fellow SUR-ver is more conducive to his lifestyle – and to his ego.

Can we talk about how Carmen looks like Jax's kidnapping victim? This was a flat relationship that never showed any signs of passion and went absolutely nowhere. Oh, and like all of these other ladies, Jax treated her pretty much like garbage.

Carmen was...nice. K, she was kind of beige. By contrast, Brittany has charisma and, LBR, the other factor Jax needs in a partner Carmen just didn't have: she makes for excellent TV.

Did you know GG from Shahs of Sunset hooked up with Jax? They had a thing for a minute, though both have played pretty coy about it. Well, not completely coy. GG said Jax is "not a selfish lover" and hinted he has a big D.

Jax seems to ping pong between gregariuos spitfires (Stassi, GG) and more reserved wallflower types (Carmen, Tiffany). Brittany is somewhere in between – and perhaps that's a good thing.

It's easy to forget just how many women we've seen Jax date over five seasons of Vanderpump Rules. The second Vail walked into SUR, Jax wanted to add her to his lengthy list of SUR staffers he's hooked up with.

Vail and Brittany are total opposites. Vail is an L.A. girl through and through, with IMDB credits to prove it, while Brittany will be a country girl no matter how long she stays in L.A.

Lindsay Lohan has a legendary list of lovers, but did you know Jax is on it? Well, according to Jax, anyways...

K, LOL. We're not even going to pretend to find similarities between these two. But how great would it be to see Lindsay playing Stassi in a Lifetime movie ten years from now about all the behind-the-scenes drama during filming of Vanderpump Rules?

Back before Courtney Robertson was on The Bachelor, she and Jax belonged to the same modelling agency and briefly dated.

On The Bachelor, Courtney was a villain who was famously not there to make friends, which is basically the polar opposite of Brittany's MO in life. This is another set of opposites.

Did you know Jax once dated Kristen's comedian pal who we often see roaming around the back of shots on VPR? She dated him even before Stassi, then dumped him after he cheated on her.

We don't know enough about Rachael to make a judgement call on how she compares to Brittany, so let's just take a minute to think about how 1) Jax has slept with exactly half of the main VPR girls 2) all of Jax's exes hang out together literally all of the time?

Jax and Kristen were never boyfriend and girlfriend per say, but let's never forget their shady, shady hookups. Stassi may have forgiven Kristen, but y'all, we will never forget.

Kristen is evil incarnated. Brittany is a literal angel.

Sure, we never confirmed Jax hooked up with his old Miami pal John, but let's just say we still consider the fact he lived for free at John's place and used to model nude for him as a serious hint.