Not every affair includes sex: in some cases, “emotional affairs” can be even more serious and damaging to a relationship. But how do you know if you’re doing something wrong, if you haven’t – technically – cheated?

It Just Feels Wrong

This is the first sign that your friendship with someone is different than other, genuinely platonic relationships. If you feel guilty or like you’re possibly crossing a line (even if you’ve convinced yourself it’s OK because you haven’t – or wouldn’t – have sex with someone else), consider that you might actually be having an emotional affair.

You’re Too Focused on Him

It’s healthy to spend some social time away from your partner, with your friends and family, and to care about the needs and challenges of others. But if it becomes a habit to make plans with another guy instead of your main man, or if you’re focusing more on another guy’s life than you are on your boyfriend or husband’s, you might be having an emotional affair.

You Share A Lot

If you’re more interested in emailing, texting, instant-messaging, talking and listening to the “other” guy, and reveal more of yourself and your inner life to him than you do to your partner, you could be having an emotional affair.

You’re Secretive

If you hide or delete messages or calls with someone other than your partner – something you would never do with a truly platonic friend – or lie about who you spent time with that day so that your man doesn’t become suspicious, you might be having an emotional affair.

You Think About Him That Way

It’s normal to maintain a personal fantasy life while you’re in a long-term relationship. Ideally, you could even share some of those fantasies with your partner. If you have a few fleeting thoughts of what it might be like to kiss, sleep with or date the “other” guy, that’s fine, but if you’re fixated on it – you might be having an emotional affair.


What do you think? Is an emotional or physical affair worse? Comment below.