What to Expect on Season 5 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Polish up the convertible and stick your puppy in your purse, ladies. It's about to get all 9021-Oh-No-They-Didn't.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is back November 25 on Slice. Two new famous faces and two tonnes of petty dramatics are about to be unleashed on America's favourite zip code.
There's a new trailer and plenty of clues on the gossip blogs about what's gone down since we last saw our favourite BH Housewives. We did the detective work so you don't have to.
Here's what to expect from the season.
Two new Real Housewives
Eileen Davidson and Lisa Rinna have joined the cast. They're both soap opera royalty and we can't wait to see what they bring to the table. No one throws a drink or an open palm better than a soap actor, except, like, maybe Heather Locklear, so, yeah, our expectations are pretty high for these two to bring it.
Tension between the soap queens
Word is, once the cameras started rolling, Lisa went up to Eileen all, "‘I don’t know what you have against me, but I’m tired of your evil eye dirty looks," which is exactly the kind of aforementioned petty dramatics we're into.
Joyce Giraud and Carlton Gebbia are out
With Eileen and Lisa in, Joyce and Carlton have gone the way of Gretchen Rossi. We'll miss Kyle worrying Carlton's putting spells on her all season, but we'd had as much of Joyce the big fat pig as we could take, so, like, biyeeee!
Aside: how happy do you think Kyle is to once again be the cast member most likely to bag a shampoo commercial?
Adrienne Maloof, Camille Grammer and Taylor Armstrong will make appearances
You guys, Camille Grammer is not gone forever. Camille will never be gone forever. Camille lives on in our hearts and on Drag Race and in Betsey Johnson fashion shows and on this season of RHOBH. (!!!!!)
Camille is still a "friend of the Housewives" and a friend of ours and oh gosh we're just so excited to see her. Also, Adrienne will appear to hawk the Maloof Hoof or tell us about the hot and rich new boy she's babysitting or something. And Taylor will be back as a guest, too, because that woman just doesn't know how to stop it already with reality TV.
Things get violent
Usually we get our fill of girl fights from Mob Wives, but it looks like RHOBH is about to go all Housewives Fight Club this season. Rumour has it Kim and Lisa got in a shoving match. Reality Tea says Brandi and Kim, did too, but Brandi denies it.
All we know is someone gives Lisa some open palm in the trailer and we just can't. Who'd have the balls to slap that boss lady?
Drinks are thrown
We live for the splash zone. Brandi's convinced Eileen is a total home-wrecker and we know how Brandi feels about total home-wreckers, so obviously she tosses a drink at her.
BONUS: In the trailer, Lisa Rinna (with two Lisa's will we have to call her Lisa Rinna all the time? Because we're totally willing) smashes a wine glass on a table, which is almost as good and maybe even better than a drink toss.
Lisa and Kyle still haven't made up
Pretty much everyone was on the outs with Lisa at the end of last season and Kyle was leading the charge against her. Sounds like the tables are turning in the opposite direction this season. According to Life & Style, Kyle's feuding with everyone this go around the carousel, including: Lisa Rinna, Kim, Brandi and, yes, Lisa.
Kim and Kyle and at it again
What will we ever do with these two? The Bobbsey Twins are at each other's throats again this season, apparently because Kim's no longer sober. We hope that's not true and also that if these two are fighting again, they at least take it to a tears in the back of a limousine level of fighting like in the golden days of Kim / Kyle upsets.
The ladies head to Amsterdam
And Lisa has a blunt between her lips in the trailer! Like, a Rihanna sized blunt! Also they brought Kim along to Amsterdam then questioned her sobriety instead of, like, their own judgment in bringing someone in recovery to Amsterdam. Where is Lindsay's sober coach when we really need him?
Brandi and Lisa are thick as thieves again
The ladies' Lisa takedown last season clearly had no impact on the zombie Queen Bee of West Beverly. At least that's how it sounds from Brandi's appearance Steve Harvey Show. Brandi was talking to Steve about Lisa and she was all, “She always looks perfect and says the right thing and does the right thing.”
So, yeah, we're pretty sure she drank Lisa's SUR Kool-Aid.
Brandi has a new, much younger boyfriend
Since the cameras stopped rolling Brandi's ditched this one, but hey, for a minute she had a cute 23-year-old boyfriend. She found him in the Red Light District, which, fine, but girl, when you get back to America just tell everyone you met him at Whole Foods.
Here's a look at the trailer:
Russ Martin is a writer who lives in Toronto. By day, he writes about ads and social media. By night, he covers pop culture for publications like MSN, The Grid, Dose.ca and the Daily Dot. Russ watches the Real Housewives like straight guys watch sports. Pass the dip and fast-forward to the fights, please