Self-Righteous Break Up Songs
These self-righteous break-up songs will remind you why you dumped the dude
Despite my indie music snob background, not even I can deny the power of a good old-fashioned documentation of heartbreak, especially if it’s self-righteous. So throw away the tissues, grab your hairbrush/mic and slap on these songs – you’ll realize you can always do better than a boy who doesn’t value you in all your goddess glory.
Ex-Girlfriend – No Doubt
This is an attitude-infused punchy pop song that you can really let loose to. I say turn this one up, kick off your ratty bathrobe and do some seductive dance poses in the mirror.
Best lyric: I will be the one to burn you
Bye Bye Boyfriend – Fefe Dobson
At the start of the song, Fefe’s singing sweetly to her soon-to-be ex. By the end, the song’s infused with just the right mix of haughtiness and a know-it-all in-your-face attitude. I love it.
Best lyric: It was fun but it couldn't last forever
Shake it Off – Mariah Carey
Now, I’m the first person to be embarrassed about liking a Mariah song. But come on! It’s a proper girl anthem. It has all the elements of a good break-up song: a healthy amount of entitlement, a “you’re gonna miss me” line, but still the underlying sadness. It’s also good to know that basically everyone in the world has felt like this – even a diva like Mariah. And it’s not the end of the world, now, is it?
Best lyric: Hold up my phone’s breakin’ up / I’ma hang up and call the machine right back
Ex-Factor – Lauryn Hill
If break-up songs were people and there was a colony of break-up songs somewhere, living miserably, just tending to some crops or something, this would be the colony’s queen, dispersing good break-up advice to her songs-in-waiting. It’s a friggin classic.
Best lyric: 'Cause no one's hurt me more than you/ And no one ever will
Too Little Too Late – JoJo
Listen, if there’s anything more humbling than a twerpy 15-year-old who can concisely summarize the way I feel about my stunted relationship, please let me in on it.
Best lyric: Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
It’s Not Right (Remix) – Whitney Houston
Whitney knows her stuff - look at what she got herself into with Bobby. This song is perfect – too bad she keeps getting back together with her crackhead lover. I love the video, too – she’s all pissed off and svelte with all her girls behind her – the best way to be when someone is breaking up with you.
Best lyric: I’d rather be alone than unhappy
Girl – Destiny’s Child
Sometimes we are weak. Sometimes the unfair sex pulls the wool over our eyes and makes us blind to all the stupid things of which they are capable. That’s when we need our girls to swoop in and back us up. This song is perfect for that - Beyonce demonstrates that a good friend ain’t afraid to slap you (but gently).
Best lyric: Girl, Take A Good Look At Yourself / He Got You Going Through Hell
Cry Me a River – Justin Timberlake
Make room for the only man on the list, JT. The delicious part of this little ditty is that we know the story behind it. A little miss ex-Federline to be exact. I guess we all know who got the last laugh there. Poor Spederline. Also see the song by the same name by Ella Fitzgerald for some old-time in your face action.
Best lyric: Now there’s just no chance / with you and me / there will never be
Smile – Lily Allen
The complete bitterness in the song coupled with trickery and self-righteousness makes a girl wanna hire some thugs and give laxatives to her ex-beau.
Best lyric: You tell me you want me back / and I tell you it don’t mean jack
Since U Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson
This song reminds me of when you, like, totally give your heart to someone and he totally STEPS ALL OVER IT and BREAKS IT and MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’LL NEVER LOVE AGAIN and DOESN’T ASK YOU TO THE PROM EVEN THOUGH HE SAID YOU’D BE TOGETHER FOREVER, then you finally get over it and realize it was a stifling relationship anyway. Yeah.
Best lyric: Since you been gone / I can breathe for the first time/ Now I get what I want
Written by: Nicolle Weeks