Ask An Expert: Justin, I've Got It Together, What's Wrong?
Q: Justin, I'm losing hope in the dating world and really need help... :(
I'm a 36 years-old professional woman financially and emotionally stable, living in the beautiful Vancouver. I like to be in shape, work out with a personal trainer, love golf, tennis, oudoor activities and usually open to try different things in life. I have strong family values and I'm highly educated who speaks 3 languages... I consider myself a very honest, romantic and passionate person who enjoys the finest and the simplest things in life... balance for me in life is the real happiness and so far my life is not balanced since haven't being able to find that special person whom I can feel total chemistry (physical, intellectual and personality) and share my life with...
I would appreciate any help and advice to meet guys that are worth... I am a little shy to approach and not into the bar scene, but once someone approaches me I am quite open and social... My friends say I am the total package, I wish I could find my total package perfect for me ;)
Do you have any advices, tips or ideas to help me???
A: First of all, you’re not doing anything wrong! It sounds like you’ve got a great life and now you just need to start meeting some more guys. The fact is that the traditional networks (family, church, village) that used to introduce people to one another no longer work effectively. And the newer networks (bars, clubs) simply don’t appeal to many people beyond their late 20s. But there is a need, as you yourself feel, for other ways to meet single people.
That’s what speed dating is all about, an opportunity to meet a lot of single people in one fun night out. You don’t have to worry about approaching them and you don’t have to worry whether they’re single or not. Dating is a numbers game, and like the lottery, you’ve got to be in it to win it! But the odds with speed dating are vastly better.
By one calculation it has been estimated that a person needs to date between 30 and 100 people before finding ‘the one’. That might seem like a lot, but when you consider that at each speed dating event you’ll meet 10 people then it really isn’t that many events at all.
It really is as simple as that. You need to meet as many people as possible, and you’ve got to expect that most of those people won’t be right for you. You’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince! So keep an open mind, be pro-active and get out there!
Given that you’re highly educated and lead an active lifestyle, I’d recommend that you give our University Educated Speed Dating and Fit and Healthy Speed Dating events a go. Check out all our speed dating and singles events.
The more events you attend, and the more follow on dates you go on, the easier it will all become. In no time you’ll look back on this period and wonder why it all seemed so hard!
Justin Parfitt is the Founder and CEO of FastLife International, the world’s largest speed dating and singles events service. For more information visit www.fastlife.ca. He and his wife, Annabelle, both appear in a new series, Love Incorporated on Slice.
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