Marriage Advice: Follow These Expert Tips for a Stronger, Healthier Relationship

Are you a little too comfortable in your relationship? If it's starting to feel like you live with a roommate rather than a spouse, dating coach Tasha Dimling suggests you reignite that flame by writing down 10 qualities you loved about your partner when you first met, then read them to each other. Then, "brainstorm a list of 10 fun things you did together when you first met; do one date per week and enjoy bringing back that loving feeling."

As individuals, you might know what you want out of life but have you gone through those lists of wants together? "You may be surprised what you learn about each other when you sit down and set goals together," says Relationship Advice Forum's Masini. "The process lets you get to know each other, and to build intimacy because you're creating bridges with projects you want for yourselves as a couple."

Is your person the person you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with? Hopefully! According to former Single in the City columnist Daniel Collins, the person you've decided to join with as one, that needs to be determined right off the bat. "Otherwise, it's like exploring what's the best possible recipe for potatoes, but if you've only got an onion, all the determination and hard work won't do a lick of good."

No one's perfect, so as long as you can get past that and realize you still love your spouse in spite of "flaws," you'll both be better for it. "One of the things we see with happy couples is that they know their partner's differences, and have pretty much stopped trying to change the other person," says certified Gottman Couples therapist Darren Wilk. "Rather than trying to fight their partner's personality style, they instead focus on each other's strengths."

"It's really easy to let things slide because you're both busy, tired and in a committed relationship," says Relationship Advice Forum's resident expert April Masini. "But by letting things slide, you allow the relationship to weaken."

For a few hours, forget the kids, your jobs, your friends and just be together, as a couple. It's actually one of the most important ways to divorce-proof your marriage. With busy schedules, it isn't always easy but a little romance goes a long way. "It requires some discipline and a different way of thinking about the relationship, but the effort is worth it," insists Masini of Relationship Advice Forum.

It's always easier to see the cons instead of the pros, but something you should never do in a healthy relationship is honing in on all the bad and conveniently forgetting all the good. That can be detrimental to any relationship, regardless of if you're married yet or not. "Focus on the reasons you're being negative," advises Relationship Advice Forum's Masini. "The deeper reasons for negativity may be that you've taken on too much in your own life and are leaning too hard on your partner. Or you may simply be cranky because you're stressed and tired, and you're reacting negatively as a result." That "It's not you, it's me" adage couldn't be more apt here.

Sometimes there are road blocks in a relationship — and the couple involved doesn't even know it. Relationship Advice Forum's Masini refers to them as "third rails" and whether it's a mother-in-law, children, an annoying sibling, even a political issue, you need to recognize them, respect them, and not use them against each other. "When you speak ill of a partner's child or parent, you may wind up making a lasting dent in your relationship as a result."

"There's got to be a bit of the 'Gift of the Magi' in your relationship, where you think of him/her, and they think of you," says Collins. Otherwise, what's the point of all this?

"If you're a lousy person — self-centred, narcissistic, obstinate, hurtful — it won't matter much what you do because your relationship is never going to thrive," says Collins. Nothing good can come of that so unless you want your marriage to be filled with hurt feelings and resentment, don't be jerks.

Want more? These celebrity coupes who've been together forever could teach us all a thing or two about staying power.

OK, you can't always be nice so when you do snap, or deliver the lowest of blows, own up to it. "When you take responsibility for your part in the marriage, only then will you be able to connect with your partner in a mature, intimate way," advises licensed marriage and family therapist Carin Goldstein.

You have to be OK agreeing to disagree, and not be fixated on changing their mind. "No two people agree on everything, and that's OK," says psychologist Lee Bowers. "But it's important to be okay with each other's differences."

Just be sure to double check you're not displaying any of the 10 signs you're falling out of love.

When times get tough in a relationship, self-preservation says to retreat. But do the opposite, suggests life coach Christine Arylo. "If you lean in to the uncomfortable feelings, to the unknown and your own vulnerability and meet your partner, you can actually strengthen your relationship through the struggles you face together." Marriage. It's a team sport.

Masini believes that discussions around finances should happen on the first date and at the point of marriage, you should already know how you each live, want to live, how you each save and spend, and future goals that involve money.

"Money is one of the biggest deal breakers in relationships, and many people have trouble discussing it, so don't be them!" stresses Relationship Advice Forum's expert. "Find out if you're spenders, savers, secretive, stingy or generous. These are each important compatibility touchpoints and the more you know about yourselves and your partners, the stronger your relationships can be."

There needs to be self-love in order for any relationship to work. "If you keep working on you, your marriage will stay fresh and vital," says licensed professional counselor Mary Jo Rapini. "Start today by adding a new wedding vow to your list: Promise to take care of yourself so you will continue to age with grace and confidence by your partner's side."

Another one of our 20 rules for a happy marriage that's so simple yet goes a long way. Dating and relationship coach Nicole Johnson suggests throwing your partner a bone every now and again. While some people seem to not like to hear nice things about themselves, deep down, they appreciate it. "A compliment is a sign of acknowledgment and appreciation. Make an effort to affirm your spouse's value in life, and in love."

There are certain things happy couples do always. "There must be time to be silly, goofy, and have fun with each other," insists Collins. "If you can laugh with your spouse, that means there's life in that relationship."

Always keep these four points in mind, insists Collins. "Empathy, compassion, patience and communication of mind, heart and body." Once you can accomplish those on the regular, you're sitting pretty. Together. Forever. (Unlike these duos, who will officially go down as the shortest celebrity marriages!)