10 Pieces of Bad Relationship Advice You Should Never Follow

At the end of the day, anything worth having is going to take some work – and it’s up to you to determine just how much effort your relationship is worth. Just ask the relationship therapists over at E-TherapyCafe.com. As Dr. Jude Black says: “A good rule of thumb is: The strength of a relationship is measurable by the time, effort, and energy invested.”

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So is Jealousy a sign of love? Not the case, say Susie and Otto Collins from RelationshipGold.com. Rather, the pair suggest, that “it just may mean that there’s a pretty big self-esteem issue going on or whatever triggers their jealous behavior.” They go on to warn: “A seductive possessiveness that you interpret to be proof that he or (she) cares at the beginning of a relationship can quickly turn into an abusive situation if both of you don’t get some help.”

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While it may sound like solid relationship advice, this one is far from realistic. An article on PowerOfPositivity.com looked at the way marriage advice in magazines has changed since the 1900s. One piece of old advice is the notion that you should never go to bed angry. As the article reveals, “an argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.” Now that's some love advice worth listening to.

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Jeannie Assimos, of EHarmony.com has a simple take on this piece of bad advice, saying (sarcastically): “What’s true for magnets must be true for people, right?” The point is, no two people can expect to be exactly alike, and while it’s true that our differences are often part of the initial attraction, it’s having the fundamentals in common (to some degree, anyway) that help to lay a healthy foundation for our relationships.

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Not so! According to Jenise Harmon, MSW, LISW-S, this bit of bad relationship advice makes her top 10 list of absolute worst. In a post on PsychCentral.com, she says: “This is a phrase that is often used to keep an individual in an abusive relationship… Don’t allow this bad advice to keep you stuck in a harmful relationship.”

Yikes. Hard to believe this one is still making the rounds, but there it is. Dr. Joni E Johnston notes this as one of the “ugly” bits of relationship advice that women should, at all costs, avoid. “For God's sake,” says Johnston in an article for PyschologyToday.com, “this was the kind of advice my grandmother got!”

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Okay, so sometimes this is true – but it’s up to you to make that call, not whoever is offering up this advice. Unless you find yourself in an abusive or very obviously unhealthy situation, it’s impossible for outsiders to make a definitive call on the “worthiness” of your partner. An article on LoveAtFirstSight.com agrees: “Chances are their well-meaning advice is under-informed… Now is the time to buckle yourself in as your relationship flies through turbulence.”

According to an article on HumanExplore.com, this is the kind of relationship advice you’ll want to pass on. Instead, they advise, “In a healthy relationship, each partner has a field where he/she shines and logically they take the lead in those situations. If you want strong and loving relationship there must be mutual support and understanding.”

Happy couples will be able to recognize these signs that you are comfortable in your relationship.

In an article for CheatSheet.com, relationship expert Adam LaDolce argues that this is bad advice because "it takes the ownership off you to go out there and find it. A lot of relationship advice I give is all about being proactive and pushing yourself to get out there and meet new people, be extremely social, and go make it happen for yourself.”

On TheTruthInsideOfYou.org, this bit of bad advice ranks #3 on their list. “Overtly romantic gestures are a part of the honeymoon phase of any relationship. They will fade too as you progress through your relationship and reach new milestones.”

Ignoring bad advice is only half the battle; avoid making these huge relationship mistakes to keep your partner and yourself on the right track.