20 Unhealthy Thoughts You Need to Ditch Right Now

Staring at yourself in the change room mirror and lamenting certain body parts will just make the whole process more painful. We all have different bodies and there is a swimsuit out there for each of us.

Ultimately, who knows why someone didn't call or text back. But it’s important to remember that whatever the reason is, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Trying to find an answer is like trying to solve a puzzle with pieces missing–it’s never going to work so let it go.

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Having goals helps us stay motivated and ensures we don’t become stagnant and continue to challenge ourselves, but worrying about why you aren’t where you think you should be is a pointless process that creates negativity and ultimately, can block your path to success. Wherever you are is exactly where you need to be.

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It’s alarmingly easy to focus on what you don’t have or what isn't in your life rather than what is. But that's a recipe for misery, anger and frustration. Choose instead to focus on what you do have and be grateful for it. Make a list, read it daily and add to it.

The mirror can be a tricky thing because what we think we see in it isn’t always rooted in reality. Say you’re having a “good” day-- your presentation went well, the guy asked you out, you found $20 on the sidewalk. On a day like that you’re likely to see your reflection in a more positive light than if you didn’t get the guy, found out you owed money and flubbed the presentation. But the funny thing is, your physical appearance won’t have changed-- your attitude is the only thing that’s different. The only thing you need to do in the mirror is smile (and maybe make sure you don’t have anything stuck in your teeth).

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No matter how much we try or how much we visualize success and plan for something, not everything is going to work out the way you hoped or pictured. Learn what there is to learn from the situation and then move on. Ultimately, whatever it was–the job, the relationship, the business–wasn’t meant to be at that particular time. Another, better scenario is on its way.

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Obsessing over something someone said or did yesterday, or last week or last year is a waste of time and energy and just holds you back from feeling good. Whatever it was, it’s over now, so avoid allowing it to continue to matter.

Whether you sent a text you wish you hadn’t, said the wrong thing in a meeting or hit “reply all” on an email meant for one person, beating yourself up is not helpful. Forgive yourself, laugh about any perceived faux pas and move on. You get to choose what thoughts you believe and which ones are useless to your happiness so make the choice in favour of thoughts that make you feel good.

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We all make mistakes and sometimes they’re big ones that stay with us for months or even years. But there comes a time when carrying around regrets for something in your past gets to be too much to bear. Lighten your emotional load by forgiving yourself and allowing yourself to move on.

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Worrying about something that can’t be changed puts you on the fast track to unhappiness. It’s important to shift your focus off of what you can’t change onto what you know you can.

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We often try to control what goes on around us in an attempt to guarantee success or generate happiness. But the truth is we only have control over what we do and think, not other people. Worrying about what’s beyond your control won’t create the outcome you seek but it will create unnecessary stress.

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That friend or person in your office that appears to lead a completely charmed life might have things going on underneath the surface. Thinking about how easy life must be for them will trip you up. Comparing yourself to others is based on assumptions and not reality.

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Thinking about small regrets leads to feelings of big failure. We can’t do everything or be everything to everyone we meet. Let go of the habit of revisiting situations you’ve labelled as negative or wrong. Instead, give yourself a break by releasing yourself from the attachment to those thoughts.

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“FOMO” or fear of missing out is a very real thing and in small doses can be a motivator to get off the couch. But spending too much time thinking about what you might be missing will just make you feel inadequate.

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Holding onto grudges is stressful and unhealthy. Life is much easier when you let things go. Forgiveness isn’t always easy but thinking about old wounds just keeps them fresh rather than allowing them to fade.

Wanting something can make fear rear its ugly head. But once you set something in motion, let it run its natural course rather than spend time worrying about the outcome.

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We’re always faced with multiple options from the small (what do I want for lunch?) to the life-changing (do I want to marry this person or take this job?). But once a choice is made, looking back at the one you didn't make will make it very hard to enjoy yourself or live in the moment.

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It’s OK to be inspired by someone, but everyone is on their own path and has a different route to get where they are. Just because a certain path makes sense for someone else doesn’t meant that’s the same path you should be on. Comparing where you are to where they are is a thought process that will just drag you down.

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Relationships, whether romantic or platonic, aren’t always meant to last. It can be tough to swallow when someone leaves your life but overthinking it won’t bring the person back. If they’re meant to make a reappearance at some other point in your life, they will.

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Simply put, what other people are thinking about is none of your business. Worrying about it won’t do you any mental favours and ultimately, makes no difference in the grand scheme of things.

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