You Know You're Not That Great at Working Out When...
Common sense tells you that if you exercise and eat right, then you should be fairly healthy. But while that's easy for some, for others sitting on the couch after a pound of chicken wings is easier. Yes, it's kind of gross but sometimes laziness outweighs logic. Eventually, something or someone will motivate you enough to get your butt to the gym.
But working out can be hard, even if you're there with the best intentions. Because in your mind, you can picture yourself there, doing some bicep curls, looking as fit and healthy as seemingly everyone around you. The reality, however, is much, much different. There are hovering trainers ready to pounce, intimidating machines that weren't there the last time you were there, and sweat. Lots of sweat.
Yes, if you don't know how something works, it's easy to ask someone. It's always OK to ask for help if you need it. But a part of you feels that if everyone can figure out, so can you, right? Well, don't be discouraged; you're not alone. While there are some people who know their way around the gym blindfolded, there are people like you who don't magically know how to use the doohickeys and whatchamacallits others seem to figure out so easily. Rest assured, you aren't the only one who sucks at working out. Here are 11 signs you're not all that great at it:
You spend more time picking the perfect outfit than working out in it
Because your brand spanking new cross-trainers totally need to match your strappy tank and ventiliated crops.
You lose count easily
Part of exercise is staying focused, but there are things all around you that distract. So you might be doing great at leg presses; you just haven't been keeping track of how many you've done. Yep, that was probably 15.
Reps vs. sets
Is it three sets of 10 reps? Or the other way around? Why is there so much math?
You spend more time drinking water than on the elliptical
Come on — hydration is important too!
You spend more time taking selfies than actual getting any exercise
Before you pass out, you and everyone you know need to see it to believe it and require photographic evidence that you were actually inside a gym. Think of all the bets you'll win.
You're looking for love, not fitness
Someone told you they met their spouse in the gym so you're kind of expecting that you're going to find your dream person there too.
Weight it out
Lifting weights may be a great way to burn fat and gain muscle but you'd rather do hot yoga than lift five-pound dumbbells by the intimidating buff dudes. So back to wandering you go.
How does it all work?
Some of the equipment looks straightforward, others look like torture devices. Either way, where's the instruction manual that tells you how to work the seated hip abductor machine?
All by yourself
You look at the people on the treadmill and think, "Pfft. I got this." But don't. And you'd rather figure it out on your own rather than feel silly and ask for help. So while the woman on the treadmill next to you looks like a gazelle while she glistens and watches Real Housewives, you eventually get used to the 11 per cent incline your machine is on. The struggle is real.
You get on the scale after your "workout" and are legitimately shocked you aren't down five pounds
Bu-bu-but... what about all that sweat?
You still feel good though
You might not have crushed it, but that bit of sweat made looking and sometimes feeling a little silly all worthwhile. Now bring on the beer and wings! You've earned it.
Denette Wilford is a writer dabbling in the worlds of television, celebrity gossip, parenting, food, love and sex. Her work has appeared in Huffington Post Canada, The Loop, The TV Junkies, 24 Hours Toronto and TV Guide Canada. Follow her on Twitter @DenetteWilford