with couples living together for months and years prior to marriage they accumulate most of what they need, given this fact, yes, perhaps the couple asking for cash instead of gifts could show their charitable side and do their own wedding gift of 25 or 50% of wedding cash going to a charitable organization, they would still benefit from the tax deduction......wishes for many years of wedded bliss.

I think it's a bit uncomfortable to outright ask for cash. But if a couple hasn't registered for gifts then the guests should take it upon themselves to give cash. I agree with Cindy. I've lived with my fiance for a bit over a year and we don't need anything for our place. but cash to use as towards our plans of purchasing a home would be the greatest gift.

I don't see why it would be wrong to ask for money. 1. )It's up to you on YOUR day what YOU want. 2.) If a person can't give cash-sometimes it is just too much, than it can be up to the person to give something else, like a card and a gift certificate for movies. I don't see a problem cause when you think about it, are you going to kick the person out for not having cash and bringing a gift instead. No, its all about the wedding and it being YOUR day with YOUR guests.

Just because it's YOUR day doesn't mean you can tell THEM what to do with THEIR money. What are you 12 year old princess?

Hey 12 year old princess...aren't you embarassed to say that out loud? That YOUR day crap is cool if it's your sweet 16 party in..... 1950! Wow, asking for cash, you having a cash bar too Val?

I got an invitation not too long ago for a bridal shower that said where she was registered or that "monetary gifts were accepted" and I found it a little off-putting. Of course people will fall back on giving cash, but I don't think you should ever outright ask for cash as a gift. There are plenty of other options if you don't need things...for example, lots of travel agencies will allow you to "register" your honeymoon and your guests can make a monetary contribution to pay for it. That way they know what their money is going to, and not just that it's cash in an envelope.

I agree that the way things are worded can make people uncomfortable. Having said that money is after all the most versatile gift to receive, that way it can go into an emergency fund or towards a new house (nod to Alyssa). Having an invitation that says "monetary gifts accepted" is not the same as "I only want money, no other gifts accepted" (ie you do not have to give money if you are not comfortable with doing so). As long as the choice is left up to the giver I don't see an issue with it.

My fiance & I do not need anything either....we would prefer to receive cash to put towards a home.....I think by not registering and word of mouth (our immediate family members know that we do not need anything) should be a good enough indication (without saying it outright) that we would prefer money.

I think it is quite tacky to outright ask for money, even registries may be taken the wrong way by some guests. If people actually want to know they will ask you, many people will also just give money. Either way I think the guest's should never feel pressured into giving a certain thing, and you should be greatfull for what you recieve.
However if people do know you are trying to save up for a house, honeymoon, car, baby etc. they will most likely want to help you out, without you having to ask.

it's totally rude to "ask" for money, but there are other ways around it. you could write on your invitations that there will be a wishing well or money tree in case your guest don't know what to get you, in the long run it's much more easy and less frustrating for your guest. as to how you would say this in a nice way is up to you.

I agree with Lee totally. You shouldn't ask for money directly but maybe add that you wouldn't mind it in a nice way. Don't ask right out for cash. For many weddings, guests will just automatically give you cash anyways because its easier. Obviously if there's not much on the registry or something I think more people will just end up giving you money. The problem with cash is though, how much do you give without looking cheap?

It really depends on what the couple prefers....i dont see a problem with "monetary gifts are appreciated" being written on an invitation, its not rude at all, its actual very common, for those of you who havent attended a wedding lately. Its sometimes easier cash then a gift, my sister is a wedding planner, and its appreciated that your cash cover your plate.....

is good to me married

In our culture (Italian-Canadian), it is customary that guests bring money gifts. I honestly don't see what the issue is in asking for money in lieu of gifts...it's all the same amount in the end isn't it?

Regarding Melissa's comment, how do you know how much your plate is costing? I have only ever known this information if I am very close to the bride and it has come up in conversation...otherwise are you left to guess?

It is rude to ask for ANY gift. An invitation to a wedding is not an invoice. A gift is completely voluntary. Yes, many people will bring a gift to a wedding, but it is certainly not required.

I would hope to never be invited to a wedding not because the couple wants me to share in their celebration, but rather for a potential dollar figure.

If anyone would prefer to receive cash in lieu of a gift, not registering will certainly guide your guests in that direction. Same with having your wedding party or parents tell people (only when asked of course) that you aren't registered but that they do know you are saving for a house/pony/vacation.

ok so my comment really doesn't fall under this category completely but i needed to voice my opinion on something i saw lastnite...i watched an epi of Rich Bride/Poor Bride and in this particular epi the bride wanted something intimate and small while the groom wanted this huge wedding(and didn't care about the financial costs of having such a huge wedding...bride's ideas and opinions meant nothing to this guy...in the end they still got married and i'm screaming at my tv "WHY DID U MARRY THIS IDIOT?!"...had i been the bride there would be been no wedding and he would've been long gone...

when I get married next year Im planning on having a "fund" for the bride & groom to buy a house as an option instead of giving a gift. We have lived together for a while we don't need any house stuff.
=)

Since our most of our guests do not live in the same country as one another, I decided to opt out of the Registry option. The only place that has an international registry is Wal-Mart, and even then they are two different countries.

As to the cash for gift, I think in many cultures it is common to have cash gifts. I've always heard it called "Presentation" or "Presentation Prefered" And really, peoples opinions on the matter vary from person to person. My mother-in-law thinks its tacky, whereas my parents are for it (nobody really buys off a registry anyway).

So, I think it depends on the dynamics of your families.

It's common practice in Manitoba to do this, however I think it's very tacky. If someone asks you individually and you mention that cash is the preferred gift, but offer other options it's OK. But to blatantly put on an invitation "presentation only" is ridiculous in my mind.

Gifts other than money don't even enter the picture anymore when I go to weddings. I have 7 weddings & showers this year alone(I'm European background)and see giving money as helping them with their start in life ie. purchasing a home, furnishings, covering wedding costs etc. I don't always know their tastes and don't want to guess. Why should I worry if I'm buying them their 3rd blender?

there is a debate about this. It is a breach of etiquette and up to those closest to you to spread the word about gifts, registry, etc by word of mouth. Now, if you want to breach etiquette because you think it's stupid, that is your choice, just like it would be your choice to burp and flatulate at your wedding.
But just know that it IS a breach, and when you are called on it, be able to admit it.

I can't believe there is a debate about this. It is a breach of etiquette and up to those closest to you to spread the word about gifts, registry, etc by word of mouth. Now, if you want to breach etiquette because you think it's stupid, that is your choice, just like it would be your choice to burp and be flatulent and drink beer out of a bottle at your wedding. All up to you.
But just know that it IS a breach, and when you are called on it, be able to admit it.
And you know what? You aren't going to love all your gifts. Accept that. You haven't loved all your gifts since you were six! But, hopefully, your mother taught you to smile and say thank you. And not with a form-printed than you card.

ive been invited to a wedding but have no idea how much to give them. They asked for a donation towards their honeymoon. i rarely see them but have spoken to them re emails. really confused. any suggestions!!!

If you're filipino, it's more than likely you will get money on your wedding day. It's a rare occasion that you see guests giving gifts, unless it's a wedding shower.

I have received an invitation stating purse wedding is preferred, and NO REGISTRY... I have NO SECOND OPTION... NONE! I don't even get the courtesy of e-mails from the bride... Only comments left about my photos, or my wallposts on CrackBOOK!!! Not even a crackBook e-mail! A coment on a post! My calls don't get returned, so why am I even being invited?

Hey Cindy, (b/c they said what it's going towards) literally just give what you can afford b/c you already know what your cash flow is, along with everyone else's cash is going to get pooled together to help offset the cost of one BIG gift.

I think that giving money is fine, I only wish that I knew what the "right" amount was - for the wedding and the shower. I don't want to be cheap and offend but don't want to go overboard either! I'm not a close friend really and the whole "Italian wedding" thing is new to me.

Yeah...totally! Especially when you are starting out and you would like to buy a home as your first purchase together, go on a honeymoom or start having kids a.s.ap.

'mr jay manuel nup-tial y maikela, just married, mr jay manuel y yo seremos just married, y seremos siervos de dios.\x3cbr \x2f\x3ecall me \x28593\x294,3072014'

'mr jay manuel nup-tial y maikela, just married, mr jay manuel y yo seremos just married, y seremos siervos de dios.\x3cbr \x2f\x3ecall me \x28593\x294,3072014'

'mr jay manuel nup-tial y maikela, just married, mr jay manuel y yo seremos just married, y seremos siervos de dios.\x3cbr \x2f\x3ecall me \x28593\x294,3072014'

'mr jay manuel nup-tial y maikela, just married, mr jay manuel y yo seremos just married, y seremos siervos de dios.\x3cbr \x2f\x3ecall me \x28593\x294,3072014'

'mr jay manuel nup-tial y maikela, just married, mr jay manuel y yo seremos just married, y seremos siervos de dios.\x3cbr \x2f\x3ecall me \x28593\x294,3072014'