Chewing the Fat: How to Tell Your Partner to Lose a Few Pounds
You and your guy have a really great thing going but — there’s always a “but,” isn’t there? —he has put on the pounds since you started dating. While you don’t want to hurt him by pointing it out, it’s been bothering you. And you only have the very best of intentions. So, is there a tactful way to broach the chub factor without breaking a heart, possibly a relationship, to boot? Here are 5 things to bear in mind.
Instead of saying, try doing.
Per the cliché, actions speak louder than words. Start initiating a more active lifestyle. Are you a yoga junkie? Tell your man you want him to join you for a fun class. Do you want to try a new workout, such as cross fit? Ask if he’ll come with you because you need the added motivation (in other words, empower him by making it sound like he’s helping you — which, in a sense, he is). Instead of driving to date night, why not walk? Or how about spending a Sunday strolling in the streets hand-in-hand, window-shopping and catching kisses? By taking action, you can have a positive impact on his physical lifestyle without even tabling the topic.
Get a scale
Sometimes, we just don’t realize how much weight we’ve put on — until we step on a scale. Sure, we do notice when our clothes feel tighter, but we can write that off by simply assuming they were in the dryer for too long. (Yes: It’s called denial.) If you live together, put a scale in the washroom. When there’s a scale on the floor in a small space, people are likely to hop on it, out of simple curiosity. The key to change is awareness; enable his insight.
It’s important to be mindful of where the weight is coming from. Identify if it’s from lack of exercise, excess of food or drink consumption, stress, etc. Once you pinpoint the cause, it’s easier to know where to target the changes. If the weight gain has been happening after you’ve been eating out four nights a week, why not go grocery shopping together, get some healthy foods and offer to start cooking more? Bonus: In the age of the app, there are countless solutions that offer you healthier, leaner recipes, just at the touch of a fingertip.
Go on a cleanse together
Cleansing is the new black. Why not see what all the fuss is about and do a one week cleanse together? They are meant to provide you with enough calories during your days, offer more energy, great nutrients and clear your entire system. People who commit to a cleanse see an evident weight loss, feel much better and more confident, and are more aware of the connection between eating healthy nutrients and the mind/energy levels.
Remember that you’re not his mother
Face it: We all hate when someone tells us what to do. And we hate it more when what we’re being told to do is something we know we need to do but have been procrastinating over. It’s important to remember that you’re not his mother. A relationship can’t be a dictatorship — will backfire. Don’t put him down, or reference his weight in a heat-of-the-moment argument, or make tiny digs like, “You’re actually going to eat all of that?” Negativity is an unhealthy approach, and simply isn’t fair to your other half. Be supportive — be positive — at all costs, not destructive. And be aware that sometimes, it’s a fine line between the two.
Jen Kirsch is a relationship expert, columnist and blogger. For quick tips and tricks, follow her on Twitter @jen_kirsch. Read her posts every Tuesday on Slice.ca.
Also by Jen Kirsch