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How to Be a Real Party Mama

The bigger the better, from poufy hair to plumped -up lips, you are the grand dame of the party. Sure, the party may not be for you, but it is certainly about your taste and your child (okay, so by extension it sort of is about you). So clip the "Bumpit" into your barnet and toss out the LBD, this occasion calls for big-time glamour.

The Dress
It doesn't necessarily have to be a meringue, but donning a sequined bustier would definitely bring out the orange, St. Tropez sheen of your skin. Would a shimmery Dynasty-era fishtail-shaped dress work? It would be a sin not to wear such a thing. You are the belle of the ball so your outfit should reflect this. And "reflect" being the operative word, don’t skimp on the sparkle.

The Canter
It’s not to suggest you are a horse or a pony, but you are definitely a thoroughbred, therefore you must walk like one. Before the party, practice your gait, which will be on full view when you make your entrance to the venue, when you walk up to the podium to deliver your speech, and when you cruise from table to table to greet your guests and thank them for coming. You are the picture of poise and the very essence of grace, and you would outshine even the Grimaldis of Monaco (who didn’t RSVP, for some reason).

The Make-Up
Let’s face it, you’re no wallflower, and when it’s show time, your make-up should be marvelous not muted. Nude, mauve, brown, grey–these aren’t colours, they are the hues worn by the living dead. You wouldn’t dare go to the party made up like your deceased Auntie Mabel, so whip on the magenta lipstick, stick on the manicured nails, paint on the azure eye shadow, and draw on a beauty mark, for goodness sake.

The Cleavage
To cleave or not cleave, that is the question. If you are faithful to the mantra that bigger is better, and more is more, then the answer is most definitely a "yes." Even at my daughter’s third birthday, you ask? What better occasion to display what great shape you are in as well as your God-given assets.

The Spectacle
Whether your daughter is celebrating her 15th birthday is no real concern, this party is a show of your power, wealth, sophistication, interests, knowledge, and beauty. Pin the tale on the donkey and a punch bowl set up in your basement would be considered so unfathomably rudimentary that, should they be suggested, you might actually feign deafness, so offended would you be. This party is about the spectacle, so when you suggest an Arabian night theme, then elaborate tents are raised immediately, belly dancers are hired, sumptuous rich foods are ordered and hundreds of people are invited.

Watch as mom Jodi throws an elaborate Arabian Nights theme party to get some ideas. 

The Decisions
As a true-blue party mama, you make every single decision there is to be made when it comes to the festivities. In fact, the real reason you occasionally hire an event planner is just to bounce ideas off of him or her and so they may execute your own beautifully laid out, unique plans (and, of course, to add one or two more people to the roster of those you boss around). Do you take your children’s feelings or wishes into account? Pshaw! Never. The mere fact that your youngster is turning a year older is merely the hook by which you will hang your elaborate party plans. Are you within your right to change the party’s theme one week before the event? Yes indeedy. You see, when you are in control of the purse strings and emotions are running high, service-providers and even family are compelled to bow to your pressures. Just as you threw your toys out of the playpen and screamed when you were a child when you didn’t get your way, and mummy or daddy came running in to restore peace and calm, Mr. Florist and Mrs. Caterer shall also do the running. The sooner this is accepted by all, the more successful the party will be.

Written by: Anne Marie Kirsten

Comments:

how would like to be on your show, i am having a birthday extravaganza for my son, it is feb 20th 2010 he is turing 3, let me know.


Post Moderated: Due to personal information.

randy narine3
Friday, 29 January 2010 15:11 PM EST

I love the real(Scripted,rehearsed,poorly acted and carefully edited) Mamas.

geneva
Sunday, 09 May 2010 00:02 AM EST

I'm having a Sesame Street party for my son Andrew's 2nd Birthday. I have rented a Cookie Monster and Elmo for this event, so I hope you can make it!

Stacy
Sunday, 13 June 2010 20:05 PM EST

hey i wanted to have my birthday on [party mamas for my 12th birthday and i love your show let me know

sheaniqua
Sunday, 06 March 2011 09:44 AM EST

Hey! I LOVE your show!

Erykah
Friday, 12 August 2011 10:45 AM EST

Your show is absolutly a waste of time. Get real people!! Life is what you make of it, and this show is so ridiculous!!!!

n/a
Wednesday, 11 January 2012 00:50 AM EST

My mom is defiantly a Party Mama! I am having my sweet 16 in september and i wanna be on the show!!

Sara Goodman
Monday, 30 January 2012 23:10 PM EST

I love your show, reminds me of my mom! She is planning my sweet 16 in June/2012. I hope we can get on ur show so she can see how crazy she is so she can change for when i get married one day. Its either go BIG or go home when it comes to my mom and parties, even if she cant afford it...HELP!!

Destiny Norris-Richards
Friday, 03 February 2012 19:22 PM EST

'Hi, I don\x27t see anywhere to apply to be on the show, so I guess you are not taking applications at this time......But just in case, I am having a a huge sweet 16 for my daughter in November. We have a celebrity singer, samba dancers, a huge club to do it all in and are expecting more then 500 kids. Gonna be a great party \x21\x21 I would love to be on the show \x21'

Kathryn lastingimagesphoto@hotmail.com
Friday, 17 August 2012 09:37 AM EST

'SOUL'

SHYLOCK
Friday, 08 February 2013 23:33 PM EST

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