I really liked this colum. Thank you

I can't believe I fell for that whole "You can do better than me" crap. Well boo on him. He did a crap job of finding someone. He found a skank that everyone puts up with for him, but once she leaves the room they trash her to bits. He even lost a few of his own friends cause of her. Now I've been told by his best friend (secretly tho) that he still wishes he could have me back.HA! after he dumped me for that skank b****. F*** no. Besides I found out I'm actually pretty poP***r with the fellas for being outspoken. Now hes missing out. So BAM! In your face b****!!

Finally talked to him for the first time in a long time. He misses me but I can see through that act like glass. We had a few laughs but he knows its all fake.

What Does a guy mean when he says "lets have a break" and i say "but why" and he says "i want to see how long it will take me to miss you or how long i can last without you"
i dont get it? is it true?
someone please help me LOL

for "sage" i think it means that he is unsure about his feelings for you and your feelings for him. he is just confused if you two are right for eachoher and needs some time to figure it out. I would give him some time , make him come to you. If it takes too long then i would say he isnt worth it, and obviouly isnt at the stage in his life where he is ready for a reltionship.

Well now I totally know that what the guy I liked said was false. "I'm too busy, or I’m not ready for a relationship right now." I knew for a fact that we didn't have any sparks on the first date, on the second date, and on the third date... so why did i go out with him? Just because my friends set me up, anddddd, because he was cute but not cute enough. :)

My relationship ended because my guy will soon be moving to another city, 8hrs away. We started dating 1yr ago and right off the bat, he told me that this wasn't suppose to happen as he'd made plans to move to another city for a couple years to broaden his work experience. We could of broke it off right then but the physical attraction was too intense and now our relationship has evolved into so much more. We're both too cowardly to say the "L-word" but his body language lately (specifically on how he's been looking at me) has caused me to lose my breathe at times. I've never been so overpowered by a look.

So it's a given that we obviously care deeply for each other but I don't think he believes in long distance relationships. He's not a phone person and is worried that he won't be able to maintain his end of the deal on top of the huge work load he assumes that he will have. I have offered to move there once he was settled, but he didn't latch on to the idea. Possibly because he doesn't want me to sacrifice my own career for his- I'm not sure?

Regardless, his parting words were "I'd rather have the regret breaking up with you now over the regret of putting you through long distance relationship that could fail"

It was so heartbreaking to hear this. I truly thought that we would be able to survive this obstacle.

My boyfriend dumped me twp days before our first month in the supidist way ,
him and i were talking on the phone for like an hour and then there was a silent mooment and he just said "(my name), i can't go out with you anymore." and he hangs up the phone. So, i call him back and say "Kay what was that about?" he just replies with a "It's over, dont call me back." and hangs up.
What does that mean!? Please help me!?

Okay, I know this was wrong to begin with, but please bear with me & help me figure this out.

Male coworker & I had a lengthy affair, approx. 3.5 years.....and then he just abruptly stops associating w/ me & communicating altogether. He has been complimenting me daily, texting/emailing me daily wildly, we hung out together, we had amazing mind-blowing sex......and then nothing.

I guess what's eating me is I got played. I'm married, he has a girlfriend (in Australia), but the worst is that he was NOT man enought to own up to his breakup, and instead played it off like he had explained it all, as if I had been there in the conversation that NEVER EXISTED. He basically broke up with me via IM on gchat & then some texting before he berated me for "not getting it" via telephone. He NEVER once saw me face to face, and he now completely ignores me.

Let me add some perspective to this too. We push each other's buttons definitely, but this man is very self-centered for a 46 yr old overweight man who has the charm obviously. He "says" he still loves me, that nothing has changed (duh, yes it has), and he still wants me, misses me .....BUT.....he's just too busy right now, I AM affecting his health w/ all the stress of the affair, plus he mentioned his gfriend is now moving to the states, but the biggie...he "just can't do this anymore" WTF?????? .....oh & did I mention one of our coworkers found out about us? Just like that, he's HER best friend now, seems like kissing up to me, & abruptly dumps me. He's been seen with the coworker who knows A LOT, on breaks, he's in her department practically every 5 minutes. I think they're hooking up now...honestly.. :(

Oh, here's the clincher of all.....he just DOESN"T understand why I can't "process it" and "deal with it" and act like everything is okay at work. We used to hang out CONSTANTLY. People are talking....and he's freakin' out on me. I got dumped, Wtf is he trying to make it my fault even more? I'm TRYING to process an abrupt end to what I thought was not just great sex, but a truly valid trusting friendship and relationship. Dammit I'm stupid.

So..did he ever freakin' care at all? Or was I just played to the nth degree? Lightning round question of the night, how can I deal with this, I'll be DAMNED if he thinks I'm leaving anytime soon. This job is in my field, he's been there 18 years, but he never graduated high school. Is he just getting rid of me b/c the "stress" is b/c he's worried he could lose his job b/c the coworker knows? He's stupid, to think maybe I could be a threat? I am Not goin to take being dumped lightly.
I guess I'm just wondering if I'm right. I got played for not a few months, but years, no? Or did he care? And, I wonder if he's telling lies about me to the coworker to get me fired? The coworker & I are friends, we hang out sometimes outside of work.
I'm so confused, hurt, angry, annoyed. I feel like I wasted so much time on someone I THOUGHT was really going to be around in my life for years to come.
I'm working on my marriage now, as well as my career so I CAN get out of this job eventually (it will help me to stay until I get the masters degree).
I know I was a STUPID IDIOT, but please help. I actually thought of leaving my man for this guy. what was I thinking???

Any advice is surely appreciated. I have no one to talk about this to, & I've searched so many forums I think I might explode. Thank you in advance :)

Sabine... you have just gotten yourself out of a really bad situation... It's time you thought about yourself and worry less about this guy. He's totally not worth it.

When I see a guy that has the nerve to cheat on a significant other, it sends me running to the hills - doesn't attract me to him as I can see in the future that he's gonna be bad news! With all the insecurities involved, it's totally not worth it.

Pick yourself up from this situation, go out, focuas on yourself and have fun. Don't dwell on this guy - and get away from him. Show him what you're made off. He's weak. You don't need him. Who cares what others say... If you need to leave your job, do it - whatever it takes to make you feel better...

Learn from your mistakes and work on your relationship with your man - an affair like this one, has probably taken quite a toll on your marriage.

Thanks JP, I am trying very hard to stay away from him. So far so good.

I am working more on my marriage, and yes, it has taken a toll on me.

I guess what I really want to know is....will karma ever come back on this fool of a man? I know I'm at fault for ever getting involved with him....but he IS a loser, no? He plays everything off like he's innocent....and Ijust want to CRUSH that theory for him...and let his significant KNOW what's she's gotten herself in to. She's moving here from another country (so he says), and I have ways of being able to contact her.

I just am sick of hearing (from him & others) how I"M the lunatic in all of this when he's the one who's been playing me & doing this stupid mind/head game trip on me.

Don't worry, I AM going to try and have more fun in my life & I'm reassessing my career to move on & feel better about it all.

Please ....just tell me....he's a loser/player/moron, no? Will Karma give him a kick in the ass eventually?

Thanks.

Mistakes are always made in hindsight, while at the time, you may have felt it was right.

Focus on yourself, be youself and don't let these idiots bring you down. But you have to move on and quit obsessing over this idiot.

He'll get what he deserves in bad karma, just know that. And move on.

You're not alone in this situation and many other women have been there - but you have to know when to throw the cards down and just walk. You'll be just fine as long as you focus on your own personal life at home. You have better things to worry about.

I would seriously consider leaving the negative environment asap (when you find something else) - and learn from this whole experience.

Yes, he's a moron, but in the process of getting through this breakup, he's trying to share the wealth with you (making you feel like one as well).

The sooner he gets out of your thoughts, the better.

Thank you JP, I need more people in my life like you.

I appreciate the words.

Today I got dumped by what I guess was my first boyfriend. I didn't see it coming at all, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. He had taken up smoking without telling me, but when I found out about it, I just played it cool, not wanting a fight that could be sorted out in a reasonable manner later. After he smoked a cigarette with his friends, he asked me, "Does my smoking bother you?" I just said, "Not really." He replied by saying that he didn't even like it, he just did it to do something. I said, "If you don't like it, why are you jeapordizing your health? It's a waste of your time and money." He pulled away from me, and gave me this weird look, then said, "I think you're too intense for me. Your constant anger and depression are bringing me down. I'm going to have to let you go." As if I were his employee! I was going to be cool about it, just be all, "Oh, we can still be friends or whatever," but he decided that civility was too good for me, so I returned the favor by ignoring him. I was just fine and dandy until I started analyzing what he had said, and realized that "too intense" didn't make any sense. I wasn't overly physical, I didn't dump my emotional baggage on him, and it's not like I asked to move in with him or anything. So, if the more sage of you would like to help me with my problem, feel free to tell me what in the world he meant by that.

ok... so i dated this guy my soph. yr of high school....for about 4 months...we broke up mutually but really there wasnt any specific reason... he was going to college that fall, and i still had 2 more years of high school.
The following summer when he was home we spent like everyday together. I stayed at his house all the time and we had an amazing time. Then he went back to college. I would occasionally go and hang out with him when he was there and we would hook up. Well then i found out that he did something terrible so i stopped talking to him. (I'm not going to go into details its that bad) But even though all that happen I still really liked him..and wanted to be back with him...but he would never just commit to me again. So we are friends now..and we text occasionally, we keep in touch and see how things are going.
Well he saw my mom at a party...and they started talking about me... and he texted me and we started talking again. And he told me "well you're a beautiful girl thats for sure but you don't need to be wasting yoru time with guys like me".... ok what in the HELL is that supposed to mean... like we ended up in a really in depth convo.
and i was like just say that you dont like me, and that you dont want to be with me ever again, and he was like "im not gonna say it" and i was like why not its the truth and he was like "because thats just you putting words in my mouth"
someone please help me....and tell me waht i should do becuase im lost... i need to know if i should just get over him or maybe try one more time!!!

My boyfriend dumped me a yr ago. He is in his 40's and has been a bachelor all his life. I have been told I was one of the longest relationships that he had. We were together 2-1/2yrs. I let all of my walls down for him because I truly believed his was the one. We were so connected and everything felt right. Neither one of us have ever been married and either has children. We did have our share of issues but what relationship doesn't? Nobodys perfect. They were nothing critical and nothing that couldn't be worked on. I always believed if you love someone enough that will take you through anything. I believe they were excuses because they were such small things. I didn't live with him but we worked on everything together in the house for the future, picking out wall colors, a new bed and furniture, paintings, nick nacs and etc. Everything seemed to fit because our family and friends all new each other through the years.

One yr before he broke up he brought up living together for the next step but said he wasn't ready yet. Then a yr later hit me with he knew I was ready for the next step but he wasn't and didn't feel he ever would with anyone not just me and that was it.

I have never experienced in any relationship the way I have found myself as I do now. Everyday for a year I have cryed and there has been not 10 minutes that I haven't thought about him. What is wrong with me? The holidays are the toughest.

Now he is with someone else and see's her all the time even brings her to church. Her story goes that her husband cheated on her. She is not divorced yet and they are sleeping together and then get they go to church together (hipacrits).
Also she has two SMALL children and a husband that wants her back.

I don't understand why someone that is afraid of commitment, doesn't just date for a while, but hooks up into a relationship right away with someone that has two small children and is not yet divorced.
What really hurts is I believed he really loved me and now he acts like I don't exist. I don't understand someone help me to understand. I can't believe I even want him back. What is wrong with me?

heartbroken

Wow this coloum is awesome..coz got to know so manu things which I was not aware of it at all. My boyfriend went abroad which was very hard on me and when called him he tells me not to call him too often as it irritates him, so stopped calling him and whenever we get ot talk we hardly talk for abt 5 min and i hardly know how he is and how he feels and whenever try to talk reg the relationship and sort out tell me blankly "Do whatevery you want and think whatever you like" which keeps me confused...Is this relation going to work out as I am very serious and it hampering my life in lot of ways..Give me some suggestions...!

After 3.5 years the love of my life left me.He had stayed with me at my apartment for about 3 months even though he owned a nice home of his own an hour away.Mostly he stayed at my place with me because I had ben ill.He worked in Massuchusettes and I lived in Maine and his home was in New Hampshire.Of course because of gas prices things were getting rough with more than 300$ in travel expenses monthly besides his own personal bills like mortgage payment oil,and all the other household expenses.Anyway we I thought had a very loving relationship and the sex was incredible.We were engaged within six months of our relationship but it seemed shortly after the he slipped that ring on my finger things changed and we started having many disageements.Despite those things the sex was still great but i felt like he wasn't feeling the same about ever moving on to the next step.He never brought up the subject of marriage and whenever i did he said how a peice of paper wasn't going to change things and it made me wonder why he ever gsve me that besautiful expensive engagement ring in the first place.He asked me to move in with him the second year and I did briefly but I was afraid that if i stayed there for any length of time that marriage would never come so I moved out while he went on a hunting trip.Maybe that wasn't the right move but I felt at the time for me it was the only choice to make.I guess i thought maybe that would persuade him to talk about marriage and to set a date or end the relationship all together.we stayed broke up for about three weeks and then I missed him so much I caved even though i never moved back in and nor did he ever ask me again.I started to feel very insecure in this relationship by things he did and things he said to me.In some ways he was so loving to me yet in other ways there was such a coldness about him towards me.He always kept me so confused about where I stood with him.He was commited to the relationship but yet at the same time somehow detached.Anyway I started to feel very unloved and felt I was losing him and I met someone on line that shared alot of my intrests.It was innocent enough i wasn't looking for anyone I was just venting to this other man about my feelings.Maybe it wasn't right but i felt it was just fantacy and I was onlyu playing never intending ever meeting this man even though we toyed about the idea and I had said some things i should have never said to this man.Anyway my x discovered i was writting another man and it really hurt him,of course i felt very badly about it because I was still so much in love with my fiance.Alan was just a way to take my mind of my problems just for a little while.I just was going through so much even though I guess that was no excuse.Anyway my fiance left me over it all but I really think Alan was just the catalyst.there were other problems but never ever any cheating of any kind.He took up with someone pretty quickly within a month or two after our breakup.Someone 14 years his junior with four kids a set of six year old twin girls,a ten year old girl and a twelve year old girl.He like me was 51 and his new girlfriend is thirtyseven.That was quite a blow to my ego for sure.I guess it is true that beauty is in the mind of the beholder.Not to be mean or anything but this woman is no looker and she is a much larger woman than myself.Well after 4 months into his relationship with her he started writting me again and wanting me to send sexy pictures of myself to him,you know scantly dressed and i found that odd since he had a new love.He has been with her for almost a year now and he has been getting in touch with my mom which i don't understand since the only conversations they ever had previous when him and i were together only had to do with me.On one hand he tells my mom how much he misses me and how he even misses our sex life and that how i will always have a special place in his heart.I don't get it,he is just as confusing as he has always been,what is going on with him.I'm lost and don't understand.What is he really saying.How could he be with someone else but yet still miss me and our sex life?What am I missing here?

Need a little help here! been with my bf for 2yrs nows,the last year things have been going down hill rapidly, we both have stressful jobs, his is really stressful, he is my boss's boss..to cut a long storey short he's not as attentive as he use to be, we can go week without seeing each other,
So I phoned him today and said,'maybe we should call it a day' he said, 'no I don't want that but you need to chill out, this is not the right place to talk,I'll phone you later when I finish work.
Er help, I thought I was being pretty chilled, always been there when he's had a bad day or to busy to chat, I love this guy but I'm not sure what to say when/if he phones me? just don't want to loose him but I really can't be asked with the games, he says he loves me but doesn't actually make time for me..

So what does it mean when your husband of 14 months, common-law for 10 years, says that he wants to make fitness his life with a partner that challenges him and that it's not you?

What about when you don't know where you stand in the relationship? for example, when i was with him and our friends, he was sweet and gentle and then some days it was like he was afraid to even talk to me. Later on in what i thought was... well to be honest i don't quite know what the relationship was, he turned around and said he hoped he didn't give me the 'wrong impression' when he was the one cuddling up to me. What does that mean?
Thanks x

the more i read stuff like this, the more i hate boys . . . :-(

my boyfriend of two years left me for the navy and basically told me in a text to not call him anymore...he has two kids he hasnt seen in a year...blamed everything on me...i think i was the rebound because of his divorce. he didnt even say goodbye in person used the excuse of me not leaving my family. im 22. doesnt care about not seeing me or his two kids or probably dont know him

ineed advice me and this guy hooked up we hv been dating for a month but we dated before and he moved to illinois now we r back together but he says hes having family issues and needs a break im not sure if hes dumping me and making excuses or if he really is having issues

I was dumped Monday and now i feel like dirt and he went home to live with his daddy lol... He is freakn 40 yrs old. I think he was just in it for the sex but sometimes it felt like love!!!!And now im sitting here at my own home crying over him and i just heard he is going out this weekend bar hopping! Whats up with that? We lived together for 4 months and he only worked 4 2 days the whole time we were together and i pd everything and he thinks he can do better????HELP!!!! I feel like im losing my mind here......

Thats how i got woke up was him packing up 2 leave.. Its like he was not even going 2 tell me bye.. Im 35 yrs old and I cant believe im going thru this.... And it does not get better with age!!!! It still feels like my world came down on my head..... idk how im going to put my life back together??!!!!

'I was crushed when my lover of three years left to be with another woman. I cried and sobbed every day, until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help. I threw away so much money on fake spell casters - all for nothing - until I hit on the real thing. And that is you, Lord Shiva. You were different from all the rest - you are the diamond in the rough. Thank you from the depths of my soul\x21 I am extremely happy now with him back and better. I hope God blesses you as much as He has blessed me. Love, visit him on \x28prophetofgoddess\x40yahoo.com or www.prophetofgoddess.com\x29 he can be a great help to you all.'

'I was crushed when my lover of three years left to be with another woman. I cried and sobbed every day, until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help. I threw away so much money on fake spell casters - all for nothing - until I hit on the real thing. And that is you, Lord Shiva. You were different from all the rest - you are the diamond in the rough. Thank you from the depths of my soul. I am extremely happy now with him back and better. I hope God blesses you as much as He has blessed me. Love, visit him on \x28prophetofgoddess AT yahoo DOT com or www DOT prophetofgoddess. DOT com\x29 he can be a great help to you all.'

'I was crushed when my lover of three years left to be with another woman. I cried and sobbed every day, until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help. I threw away so much money on fake spell casters - all for nothing - until I hit on the real thing. And that is you, Lord Shiva. You were different from all the rest - you are the diamond in the rough. Thank you from the depths of my soul. I am extremely happy now with him back and better. I hope God blesses you as much as He has blessed me. Love, visit him on \x28prophetofgoddess AT yahoo DOT com or www DOT prophetofgoddess DOT com\x29 he can be a great help to you all.'

'I met this guy by a friend of mine a year ago, and I started developing feeling for him. He initiates the first meeting, and everything was fine for a couple dates. One day he started being really obnoxious, telling me that I was selfish, because as he said\x3b I failed on the test \x28some chocolate barres that he gave to me, but I didn\x27t share with him\x29. Even though I have paid for some coffee before.\x3cbr \x2f\x3eI went back to him and said he shouldn\x27t have said that, but then every single time we met, he was getting rude, mocking my tastes, he was analysing everything I said and used it against me. In that time I was in sales\x2fmanagement position so he told me I was fake and maniP\x2a\x2a\x2ative, not trustworthy. In between I have exposed to him, my feelings and turned me down, but came back to me a day after saying that we need to talk, then nothing...\x3cbr \x2f\x3eWe kept seeing each other, and he said he likes me, so I suggested that we should be in relationship... He told me that he was going to think about that, after a certain time I asked him if he was ready to give me an answer \x3a \x22I m going to said no,I think you have someone else\x22. \x22maybe if you had gave me that time I would have say yes\x22. \x22 I just needed to see something first\x22. \x3cbr \x2f\x3eLater, we both spoke via facebook and he said \x3cbr \x2f\x3e\x22we are too different culture, zodiak are different we don\x27t mach up and you failed on the test, I\x27d better test someone my culture\x22 \x22If I found someone close Ill keep seeing u as a friend\x22. He said also that was showing him enough, when I was actually initiating 60\x25 of the meeting at the end.\x3cbr \x2f\x3eI am now avoiding him, this time for good, and he keep texting me if I am mad at him, and he said that he wants to take me out soon. \x3cbr \x2f\x3e\x3cbr \x2f\x3eI don\x27t get it\x21'

'Hello Dr. Lametu ,I had my doubts about magic spells and I never think I would have dared to just hire any spell caster randomly. That\x27s why I consulted you Dr. Lametu first. I mean, it is my life we are talking about\x21 I can\x27t just let any one mess with my future. Long story short\x3a Dr. Lametu did his analysis and then told me what specific spell that would work best for me. For me and my specific case. Well, he was correct and now, 3 days after I had the spell cast, my ex broke up with his girlfriend and came running. He begged to come back to me\x21 That\x27s exactly as I wanted it to be \x3b\x29\x22I thank you a lot. Ancientspiritualtemple \x40 gmail. com'