Translator
 
 

Boss-Speak

What every working girl needs to know

"Sure, that report can wait until after lunch."

Means: I’m sure your bonus can wait too!

"I'd love to do lunch with you to discuss your proposal on new strategies."

Means: You're buying, I'm not staying for dessert and don't expect me to be listening to the conversation.

"I'll find out about our overtime policy for you."

Means: How about you quit surfing online, do your work faster and be thankful you even have a job?

"I don't mind if you're a few minutes late every so often."

Means: If you do it again, you can kiss your lunch hour goodbye!

"There’s a work event and we'd love for you to come."

Means: You’ll be working the door, coat check and don’t expect any free drinks.

Comments:

I wouldn't take this too personally.

Anonymous
Wednesday, 14 March 2007 16:40 PM EST

lolgood but needs more then 5 lines sorry

allyson
Monday, 19 March 2007 18:32 PM EST

sorry typo suposto be "lol good but needs more then 5 lines sorry"

allyson
Monday, 19 March 2007 18:33 PM EST

what is that in deed

chi
Friday, 23 March 2007 19:31 PM EST

What tripe! What unmitigated nonsense! This is truly a boondoggle for the unintelligent! I am a boss and all of my friends are bosses. I don’t even know a single one that thinks this way! lol! The harsh reality is there is a horrendous labour shortage that will only get worse. Companies are moving into a time where they will have less and less power over workers. Bosses are getting burned out at a fantastic pace and Corporations are having a tough time holding it together and they didn’t get the return on their investment they expected in China. So they are trying to make you think you have less power by creating idiotic shows like this. Deadlines are getting worse and timelines are compressing. There is no money for overtime. The boss is stretched beyond belief and even with the great salary and benefits is broke trying to keep up with her commitments. She only eats out because she has to. She doesn’t have time to make anything at home let alone change her kids diapers. She works till 12 every night, she is also on antidepressants. Nobody in their right mind wants her job anyway. If she has to look at another proposal she will slit her wrists. She feels entirely powerless over her employees. She is virtually powerless to punish anyone for taking a long lunch because if she fires you she fears your replacement will be worse than you. If you find you are doing the coat check and aren’t getting any free drinks it is because the company is on the verge of bankruptcy; RUN! RUN AWAY! To any other job you can get they will be closing the doors soon! Or you could stay because you want to do undeclared charity work.

I love it!
Tuesday, 27 March 2007 04:19 AM EST

this is like horrid! why would ANYONE want to be talked to like this?! & you should get more translations. to tell you the truth, this is like getting an F- on a report card for students! horrible really.

horrible job.
Tuesday, 27 March 2007 19:25 PM EST

hate it!

ugh.
Tuesday, 27 March 2007 19:26 PM EST

We all know that some boss' do think this way and some don't. I agree with some with some humour and I just don't agree with some at all. But remember people, everyone thinks differently and that there is no reason to "bad talk" so many people on the site. Damn, if you don't like it, leave! I'm not trying to talk bad either, I think some people should need some help finding the door!

Lys
Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:32 PM EST

I was only referring to the translations, not other people’s comments.

I love it
Wednesday, 28 March 2007 08:10 AM EST

do you not get the humour behind this? you're not reading the globe and mail... if you want REAL information about how bosses think, read the freakin' Report on Business... this is where you come if you want a chuckle with your morning coffee... sheesh

**OMG people**
Wednesday, 28 March 2007 15:22 PM EST

The spelling and grammar of the people leaving comments on this site is horrid!

I think these people should be spending less time ranting on websites and more time reading or paying attention in school.

webster's dictionary
Monday, 02 April 2007 12:15 PM EST

seriously, if you have that much drama in being the boss then you need to go!

good lord!
Saturday, 14 April 2007 02:12 AM EST

webster's dictionary, welcome to the 21st century!

what is your problem?
Wednesday, 09 May 2007 11:20 AM EST

I think its all crap!

Angelina Alonso
Friday, 06 July 2007 16:00 PM EST

Don't just sit there talking to your computer. Have your say and add a comment. Please note: All comments are subject to moderation before being posted into the comments section.

Name:
 
 
Slice Casting Call

Apply to be on your favourite Slice show!

 
 
 
 
Big Brother Canada

Watch Season One Now!

 
 
Money Moron

Fridays at 9pm ET