He's Just Not That Into You
When it comes to dating most people are cowards. Especially on the first few dates. They’ll do anything to ‘gently’ shake you if they think you’re not the right one. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner here are five subtle hints translated. Hopefully you can save yourself the heartache of months spent psychoanalyzing, stalking and getting all butterfly bellied over someone who’s just not that into you.
What they eat: A dish you’re allergic to (after being told of your allergy).
What he means: He’s desperate to ensure you don’t get too close to him. Are you sure he’s swinging in your direction? When he asked you out, were you at a club with loud music? Were you standing next to a hot guy or girl?
What she means: Women are complicated. She might be up to the same tricks as her male counterpart or she’s totally full of herself and thinks that you should risk an allergic reaction to get to know her. Like, why should she have to wait until after your date to eat that shrimp cocktail she’s been totally craving?
What they eat: Something off the Kiddy Menu.
What he means: He’s cheap. He doesn’t want to waste too much money on this date because he doesn’t think the relationship is going to work – and he doesn’t care whether you know it.
What she means: She’s not ready for a relationship. She’s still five years old. By the end of the evening she’ll probably be talking to you in a high-pitched, whiny baby voice. Unless you have some creepy desire to date a grown five-year-old, ask for the cheque and start looking for a real, honest-to-goodness-grown-up woman.
What they eat: Skips dinner in favour of liquor.
What he means: He’s trying to speed things along. He probably met someone on his way to your date and is now trying to get away to spend some time with her. Sorry, men can be jerks.
What she means: She can’t remember what she saw in you. She’s trying to re-create the mind-space she was in at the club when she met you. Women can be fickle. You deserve to be with someone who will see the diamond under your rough. Or, you might want to take it as a clue that some of that rough needs clearing.
What they eat: Everything – they can’t stop eating.
What he means: He’s nervous or bored. If he’s still making conversation then he’s probably just a foodie. If that conversation happens while his mouth is full, he’s a gross pig with no table manners. If he’s avoiding conversation all together, he probably made a mistake asking you out and is now trying to get out of it by closing the restaurant due to food shortage.
What she means: She knows she’s made a mistake agreeing to go out with you. Now, she’s trying to make the best of a bad situation. Assuming you have financial obligations and you and your date aren’t splitting the bill, try to get out of there while you can still afford the cab ride home.
What they eat: The most expensive things on the menu are ordered and left unfinished.
What he means: He’s more into his fat wallet. This isn’t a date it’s an opportunity to show off his financial girth.
What she means: She hates you and wants you to hate her. Did you call her ‘baby’, hit on the server, or leer at her roommate when you picked her up? This woman is making you pay – literally.
Before you get all self-righteous and swear that you never play games – we all do it. It’s a lesson we learned from our parents who always said “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.” So now, we’re a society of people trying to drop subtle hints so that we don’t have to say what we really mean. It’s sad but fun. Everyone has at least one bad date story.
By: Marie Clarke