Why do all my exes want to get with me?
Q: I have been in my fair amount of relationships. Most were doomed for the friendship box from the beginning and I have accepted I am the worlds greatest Ex-GF. Why is it though, at least once a week I get my exes calling me and being all nostalgic about the relationship. Are they holding their breath for a booty call, or one last try? Or are men as sappy (for lack of a better word) as women?
And, one last thing, since I have been pregnant (8 months now) men have been FLOCKING to try to be with me. Is it some weird fetish that everyone forgot to tell me about or is it just the glow??
A: Men are just as emotional as any lady; perhaps more so when they are alone and feeling needy. I think a classic song of the 1980's sums up this universal sentiment, Cinderella's "Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)".
As for the pregnancy thing, that's not my cup of tea, but I know guys who definitely want to get with women "with child." - Mike
A: I think it’s a little bit of both; all dudes are a little sappy inside and many hold on to that sexual feeling all too long. It’s quite pathetic, really. Too many guys can’t bottle up their horny intuitions and end up looking like desperate fools by not letting go of what isn’t supposed to be there anymore. And your tolerance through friendship only fuels their fire. Sounds like your expanded cup size is too; I think that trumps your glow. - Richard
A: As for being the world's best ex-girlfriend, maybe it’s that you’re not the world’s best girlfriend. If there is a big disparity between the way you relate to guys as friends and as boyfriends, maybe they love being friends with you and are frustrated that it couldn’t have worked with you romantically? Just a theory. Or it could just be that you’re cool. A lot of women won’t give their exes the time of day so maybe they’re drawn to you because you don’t take that approach.
As for the pregnancy thing, can’t say I get it. What kind of clubs are you hanging out at? - Josh
A: You talk about relationships being doomed for the friendship box but you also say that you're "the world's greatest ex-girlfriend" so obviously you have managed to push relationships past the friendship stage. That, to me, says that you're someone who is able to develop friendship as well as romantic connections and that sounds pretty healthy. I think you should just feel good about those successes and about the fact that you're so likeable, platonically and otherwise. - Jeff
A: They’re calling you because they’re lonely, and yes, they’re probably also pursuing the possibility of another go. They still have feelings for you—and maybe part of you is letting them believe that there’s a chance. Or maybe not, of course, but given your assessment of the situation it certainly seems likely. Some men can be just as emotional as women are perceived to be, if not more so.
Regarding your pregnancy, I suppose the notion of a “forbidden fruit” applies here, but I’m still surprised to hear that you’ve seen a spike in attention since you started showing. - Chauncy