Missing Out on the "Big O"
Q: I've been going out with my boyfriend for a year (I lost "it" to him). However, since day one I've been faking because I never knew what an orgasm was. To this day, he thinks I have them but it's never happened for me. I don't want to tell him that I was lying the whole time. What do I do? I want to actually have one.
A: Honesty is the best policy here. If having a real orgasm is important to you, which I gather it is, you have to tell your boyfriend how you feel. He should appreciate your needs and wants. I imagine he won't be upset you were faking it for the past year or so. Your intentions were good. But it's certainly something you should deal with sooner rather than later if you want to quit the acting job and experience true sexual bliss.
A: Most men would hate to hear that their lady has been faking but would rather know about it. You should tell him the truth but also be ready for both of you to learn some new tricks.
A: I’m pretty certain the truth is not the way to go here, a man’s ego is way too fragile to deal with that. I think it's time to get kinky, electronically kinky. Introduce some toys that you know will get the job done. I’m sure the people at Come As You Are have the solution for this dilemma and I know your boyfriend will be up for this next step.
A: In a word, MASTURBATE. Learn what turns you on and how to have an orgasm by yourself and you'll be able to guide your partner in doing the things that will get you there. Don't be afraid to ask him to do things that will make you feel good. This will make him feel that you're more into the experience and that you're turned on by him. At the same time, you'll be able to get closer to the big O so it's a win-win for everyone.
A: I would be straight with him. Phrase it gently to minimize ego-bruising, but honesty is always the best policy.