Surviving Friendships – The Real Housewives of New Jersey Style
Looking for some new friends to hang out with? Your timing couldn’t have been more perfect! Welcome to the drama-filled world of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Five expensively coiffed women living the champagne lifestyle – endless shopping on hubby’s tab, palatial palaces they call home, and an attitude to match. Nab yourself an influential spouse, a coveted black Amex credit card and maybe, just maybe… this quintet will take a glance at your application for membership into their condescending clique. These ladies do not take kindly to new gal pals invading their group, so if you want to grace their society, memorize these tips carefully. Eyes in the back of your head may be beneficial too!
Ch-Ch-Changes
The word of the day is ‘metamorphosis.’ Time to make like Eliza Doolittle, my friend. A complete makeover both emotionally, mentally and physically is required. Lose all traces of trust, kick empathy to the curb and ditch your conscience. Deceit, contempt and suspicion are all in vogue here. The sweet ‘treat others like you would like to be treated’ niceties you learned growing up should be quickly abandoned. The friendship rulebook, New Jersey Housewives style, is now in play.
You’ve Got the Look
When it comes to fitting in with this Jersey pack, fashion comes in only one mode: designer! If you aren’t clad in well-known, highly prized labels, you might as well stay home. To find your inner New Jersey Housewife, be sure to exercise the plastic, purchasing as much designer gear as your overdraft will allow. If necessary pad out your closet with on-trend H & M or Zara finds. When your cash has run out you can always pretend to be one of those uber hip gals like Alexa Chung or Sienna Miller who can mix & match budget friendly pieces with designer threads and still be the talk of the town. Be sure to scrape together enough pennies for regular blow-outs, highlights and mani-pedis too.
Breakin' Into the Clique
Now that you have morphed into a Jersey Housewife doppelganger, the time has come to invade that clique. But where does one target your new besties? Hands down, the best place to win friends and influence people – a charity ball. Beg, borrow or steal a ticket to the next bash of the season. These New Jersey chicks like nothing better than to philanthropically parade about in their finery. You can play that game too. Show off your wealthy yet stylish look while racking up extra friendship points for being one of those delightful mavens of charity. Who can resist the new ‘it girl’ in town plumping for a benevolent cause? The more stunning you look, the better. Sure, there’s always the possibility that the Jersey tribe might be overly jealous of you but ultimately, the hottest gal in the room joining their clique makes everyone look good by association!
Friendship is a Competitive Sport
You’re in! Congratulations! Unfortunately, now is not the time to rest on your designer laurels. The real work is about to begin. The New Jersey clan will eat you alive unless you show off some backbone. Take a deep breath and stake a claim that this girlfriend may be new in town but is no pushover. Show off your smarts just as brazenly as your new Manolos. Don’t be surprised if the welcome mat is accompanied by a substantial frenemy chill from certain corners. Your new girlfriends will always have their best interests at heart so don’t feel bad if their compliments seem disingenuous. One moment you’ll be the flavour of the week and the next, they’ll be shooting you the evils.
In the realm of the Real Housewives, clique alliances change daily. Stay strong, be alert and listen a plenty. It will be tempting to dive in head first into a delicious gossip-fest, but tread (and spill) carefully. Be mindful that your new mates will try to draw out information from you – details that could land you in hot water later on with your new clique. Best not to alienate your new bosom buddies during your first week so make discretion your modus operandi.
Schooled Jersey Style
Once you have survived their unscrupulous initiation rituals, hopefully you feel right at home with the Garden State gals. There’s no better place to learn valuable life lessons such as how to backstab with style, spend without guilt, and lie without shame. Their curriculum also teaches finding joy in the sly sport of baiting others and how to preserve that expensive manicure in the most wicked of cat fights. Chances are, you won’t recognize your old self! Definitely more fun than evenings at the Learning Annex, yet more devastating to your credit card and reputation – you’ll have to decide whether this new education, and the lifestyle and friends that come with it, is worth the price.
Decision Time
Missing your old friends and how easy relationships can be? Running in heels, keeping up with this pack of alpha females is hard work. If you’re naturally not a pushy, self-absorbed spend-a-holic, then perhaps the Jersey wife life is not for you. If you find that being your real self isn’t enough for these women, it’s time to ditch these “friends” and return to a kinder, less outrageous bunch of girlfriends. It’s always fun to ‘try on’ new friends and see how they fit. It’s even more of a laugh to do so from the comfort (and safety!) of your own sofa!
Written By: Jackie Middleton
For more, please check out Jackie’s blog at www.losethatgirl.com/