Survival Guide
 
 

Holiday Stress

Holiday Stress Survival Guide

No one ever said the jolly season was easy. It’s not laid back, it’s not always fun, and it’s definitely not for the faint of heart. Lesser women than you have given in to the stress and worry that comes along with the month of December. But you know that it’s all about managing your expectations and taking the proper steps to make sure the holidays are enjoyable instead of full of tension.

Hire someone
If you can afford it, there are lots of people that will help you do the holidays. If you need help finding a New Year’s dress, finer department stores usually have personal shoppers that will help you out. Also, The Bay and Sears have similar programs that help with choosing gifts for everyone on your list—as long as you plan on purchasing those gifts from that store. If you’re having a large party, consider hiring caterers to help you out. If you can’t afford a professional caterer, try phoning up your local culinary academy to enquire if any of the students there cater at discounted rates. University students low on cash might also be willing to serve or bartend at a party.

Babysitters are easier than hauling the kids around a busy mall and there are lots of charity gift wrappers. You’ll be spending a little money, but it might be worth it if it means not running yourself into the ground.

Start now!
If you haven’t started planning for the holidays already, stop putting it off. If it’s January, there are some great sales on wrapping paper, cards, and other holiday accoutrements. If it’s September, why not make a list now so you can pick up things as you see them on sale? If it’s November and you haven’t started shopping yet, get out there. The more you spread the work out, the less you’ll be scrambling the night of the big holiday party to grab presents for everyone. Time management is key.

Make it a party
A good friend of mine has a “Wrap and Puke” party every year. Everyone gets together, with unwrapped gifts in tow, and spends the evening eating, wrapping, and chatting. By the end of the night, the gifts are wrapped and everyone’s had a great time. This applies to tree-trimming, decorating, and baking, too. A bake-a-thon is always more fun with company.

Take a night off
For dealing with awkward family moments, we’ve got a great article on surviving the family holiday dinner. A great way to avoid that stress is to not go. It’s not necessary to attend every single potluck, drop-in, and party that you’re invited to. Simply send your regrets and tell the inviter that you’ve had plans on that day for a while. Remember to take a few nights off each week to spend at home—you’ll thank yourself while you’re enjoying a glass of wine on the couch instead of tearing your hair out at a distant relative’s boring holiday dinner.

Don’t overspend
Though it’s tempting to spoil your family and friends (and yourself) with lavish gifts, keep January in mind. A smart Slice girl sticks to her budget because she doesn’t want holiday stress spilling over to the New Year. Decide how much you’re willing to spend on the entire deal—gifts, food, wine, and travel. Put the cash aside and only spend as much as you budgeted. You’ll thank yourself in January when your Visa bill arrives.

Eat well
All those treats are tempting and it’s easy to forget about your health while everyone else is chowing down on free chocolate, cake, alcohol, and salt-filled goodies. The fastest way to a full body shutdown is filling up on unhealthy food. Allow yourself to indulge a bit, but remember that you have ten other parties to attend that will all have the same treats. Pace yourself and you’ll feel a lot more energized for your next engagement.

Written by: Nicolle Weeks

Comments:

My in laws show up unannounced on almost every holiday, including Chrismtmas. They don't say when they are coming or how long they are staying. Because this is now predictable it still isn't easy because my husband and I make plans. So whether the plan is to stay home for a quiet Christmas Eve with ourselves and kids, or invite friends or my side of the family over, invariably the in laws show up and monopolize our family time. They almost always seem offended or "put out" that we have others over and are offended that we haven't "invited" them. We have over the years tried to plan and make more formalized invites but the one sister in law needs to be in control so it has to be her idea.

My husband tried to accomodate everyone and doesn't see this as a problem. He's not the one who plans for months, food, gifts and activities. His sister will come in the middle of us leaving for an activity such as toboganning with all the kids and say we're going to play a game of hockey, which exclude about 75% of the kids (all except her own). My husband will go play hockey with her kids, leaving our own kids on their own (they are 1 and 3) and me to entertain the others, our own kids and continue to prepare and plan the food etc for his whole entire family to show up eventually which just adds to my stress.

My side of the family has been very understanding and flexible. We have declined offers to attend my side functions to be home with our small kids, but with the in laws showing up and me having to host them it would be less stressful to travel to my side but I want our kids and family at home.

I know that I have to accept this fact, it's not going anywhere and doesn't seem to change. My husband and his mom continually say they only get together on Christmas "every second year" which is not true, they do this each and every single year. The one sister in law is married to an only child so he has no one to work around schedules with, the other sister in law runs the show so whatever she says goes and her in laws (like my family) are understanding and flexible with holiday arrangements. The other brother in law is single and does his own thing.

I want to know a) how to get my husband more understanding of my holiday goals and expectations for our family, regardless if they are the same as his or not and b) recognize that his sisters monopolize our holidays at my expense and that the burden falls on me (he doesn't have to prepare all the food, clean the house, get the kids ready etc). It's really starting to become a bigger issue as we are expecting our 3rd child and our kids get a bit older and I am trying to establish a little bit of our own family traditions.
HELP

Toni
Tuesday, 02 December 2008 11:22 AM EST

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