Why Demi Moore is Still @MrsKutcher... For Now
For those living under a rock, Demi Moore announced her divorce from Ashton Kutcher a couple weeks ago, but, interestingly enough, still hasn't changed her @mrskutcher Twitter handle (which, technically speaking, is a rather easy change to make). And though this seems odd to many—since they've both un-followed each another on the social network—it doesn’t seem odd to me at all.
Un-following has to do with taking care of yourself. When you follow an ex, you are constantly being alerted of their whereabouts, what they're up to, what's on their mind, and who they're talking to. Removing them from our social networks has more to do with us and our state, taking care of what we need to move forward and not be reminded of this person who we once loved.
However, to change your Twitter name is to change your identity and for the past 6 years (and 4, 910 tweets since she’s had the account), Demi has identified herself as Kutcher’s other half—his wife.
Choosing @mrskutcher as her handle in of itself was a statement. When you decide to include your other half when representing yourself on social networks, you further ingrain the importance of that person as part of your life. You're showing off that you are their partner because they often define much of who you are.
When someone makes a change on social networks in regards to their relationship status, it reflects what they're going through during the breakup. Demi's Twitter handle is not just a name, but instead signifies one of the last things she has to hold on to.
For those of us who have been through a breakup in the digital age, we know that removing that smiling picture of us and our ex from our profile, or updating our relationship status is not an easy feat, and the same goes for Twitter names.
Many people need to take time on their own to come to terms with the split before making the change; before logging on to their account to see that change presented to themselves, and the world at large.
Sometimes we're hoping that maybe things will work out and we'll get back together with our partner. Why mess with our online social networks and bring all of our connections into the loop instead of waiting it out?
Resisting the urge to update is about acceptance; an inevitable step that comes when dealing with a breakup and one that will come in due time. If you’re stuck in a similar (albeit less public) situation, trust your gut. Take the time you need to heal. Don’t focus on what you think is expected of you. Then when you're ready, rip that Band-Aid off! Trust me, the idea of updating is much worse than actually doing it.
Jen Kirsch is a relationship expert, columnist and blogger. For quick tips and tricks follow her on Twitter @BlondeBronzed. Read her posts every Tuesday on Slice.ca.
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